because i was told it wasn't my place to be pride and happy for my step son by his mother...i really hurt my feeling. Do you think i'm over reacting?
2007-06-21 15:10:02 · 21 answers · asked by Brandy J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
HI,
In my experiences, YES-ABOULUTELY take pride in what those kids do.
When you marry someone with child or children, you take on the whole package. For the good, bad and yes even the sometimes ugly times of life.
If you care, sounds like you do. Show them and tell them.
You are there not just to cook and clean and be the driver when necessary. It is a opening of the heart you "chose" to give to the father of those kids and part of that journey, is and will always be the kids.
I hope you are a "family". I hope so, the journey of being a step-parent is not always easy, but time will show what you and the father have done together.
My step son is now almost 17 . I have known him since first grade. And let me tell you, it was not always easy. But, the bad times come along with the good too.
Hang in there. Hope you have Spiritual Beliefs.......it helps when you feel overwhelmed.
Good Luck.
---one more thing, let those kids know how happy you are that they are doing well....in every little thing. that will show them you really are in it for the long haul!!!! express the good things in your holiday cards....
2007-06-21 15:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by cheesehead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A step mom has every right to be proud & happy of her step children. What right does the biological mom have to say & think otherwise? The mother in this case has issues & needs to get a life. Don't let this woman hurt your feelings again!!! Be strong & don't back down from her.
2007-06-21 15:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step son probably doesn't feel ready for a new "mother figure" to take pride in him like his biological mom would. So the mom was just being defensive of her son. I am going to be getting a step mom soon and she tends to take pride in me and it kind of freaks me out because it is new to me. That may be what is going on for you. Give it some time to build up good trust with both your step son and the mom and then see what happens.
2007-06-21 15:16:11 · answer #3 · answered by lady_ellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your step children do things that make you proud, then by all means, be proud of them. She told you it wasn't your place because she may feel threatened by you. Maybe she feels that you will take her place with her children. Just let the children know that you are not trying to take the place of their mother. You can take the place of a friend. And if you feel proud of them, always let them know. They will appreciate it and you too in the long run.
2007-06-21 15:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by smidgen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a beautiful thing when a person with children find a mate that cares about the children. You should not get your feelings hurt for caring about someone, especially a child. The goodness is apparently a part of you and you should not change that because someone else thinks it is not genuine. God Bless and continue being you!
2007-06-21 15:18:16 · answer #5 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be proud of your stepchildren. The Mother needs to realize that you are a part of their lives now too. Continue to be proud of him. She is not happy that there is quote "the other mother". Your husband needs to tell his ex wife that the son needs all of the people in his life to be proud of his accomplishments. His Mother is just jealous and that is sad, because you are going to be in her son's life for a long time.
2007-06-21 15:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what do you mean?..proud and happy? well, he's your step son, and im sure you love him, so sure.....i would think thered be something wrong if you couldnt be proud of him. it sounds like mom is jealous because another woman is in the picture as another mom type figure in her son's life now. women are territorial like that. I wouldnt worry about it, nor instigate her anger. the best thing you can do is keep on loving and being proud of your step son, and be nice to ole' mom.
2007-06-21 15:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by jamlynne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, there's something wrong with the mother, not you.She should feel great that you love her kids so much and are proud of them.Maybe she sees that you have a close bond with them and she's just jealous. I have 2 step kids I love like my own and their mother is happy I love her kids so much. Just continue on the way you are and good luck :)
2007-06-22 01:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by lillulu460 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you love and respect your step son. And the mom is just feeling jealous and over protective. Don't let it hurt your feelings. How does your step son feel about you? if he feels the same and loves and respects you also don't worry about anything else. don't let her turn it into something ugly and hurtful to you or your step son.
2007-06-21 15:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by busy me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to be hurt about what your stepson's mother said. You have a right to be proud of him, and if you also helped raise and/or influence him in anyway, you can also take some credit for the fine way that he is.
2007-06-21 15:13:50 · answer #10 · answered by Tweety 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋