My g/f of 4 months has two kids and is going through the final stages of a divorce. She is working two jobs to make ends meet. This means that every free weekend we have without the kids, she is working and it is ruining our relationship. She gets up at 4:30 am on Saturday and it ruins our Fri and Sat nights. I pretty much live with them. Since I make very good money, I want to help her out so she doesn't have to work 2 jobs but she will not accept it. While I admire this in a way that she is not a golddigger, it is destroying our relationship and she is too stubborn to take any money. She says she has bills to pay and kids to take care of. If we are going to be together for the long term then I want us to do things together, including money, but she won't do it. I think she is never going to rely on another man because of her first husband. I think out of pride she'd rather lose me than accept my help. Any ideas? How long do I do this for? I don't want to wait indefinitely.
2007-06-21 14:24:20 · 10 answers · asked by trayl65 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it's very noble of you to want to help her. The problem is that she doesn't seem to want to show you that your time and your relationship is important. She needs to find balance between work and play. Maybe she is more interested in her kids and not as interested in you. Then again, maybe she wants to make sure that her kids feel secure before she moves on with her life. The kids are going through the divorce, too, and they need her; but she needs to allow herself to go after her own need to have fun. One day she might regret not taking the opportunity to have fun and be a woman. In a way, she is robbing herself. Unfortunately, you are not the one who is going to show her this. She is only going to figure this out on her own.
2007-06-21 14:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Problem Child♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to just subtlely lend her money. Ask her sometimes if you can do bank errands for her to sort of lighten a workload, and then secretly deposit a couple hundred bucks into her account. Then keep doing this. She may be mad at first, but she'll appreciate it.
Hope this works.
2007-06-21 21:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she just wants to prove to her self she can be independent and provide for her and her kids with out help my wife did the same thing after we got divorced but time will change her
2007-06-21 21:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is into her children for sure and does not see it is your job to cover those things but the father of the children, so if you see wrong of her doing this i do feel for you, but best that you be their for her decisions or go on your way it is a no win battle over children.
2007-06-21 21:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she feels that it is not your responsibility to giver her help in raising the kids, she wants to prove her ex hubby that she can raise her kids herself. Maybe its best that you ask her to arrange her skeds to fit the relstionship, hey give her a break, she might need it.
2007-06-21 21:34:07 · answer #5 · answered by sharron_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not pride...the last guy obviously hurt her and let her down and 4 months is not enough time for her to trust you.....just let her know you wont let her down and be patient...dont force your help on her and dont let it ruin the relationship
2007-06-21 21:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by joel g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you don't want any baby-daddy drama, taht's what happened when my mom got a boyfriend...
Move on dude, it's only been 4 months.
2007-06-21 21:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
she is independent. she likes that. also, i grew up with this from my dad. he told me not to ever accept money from a man that you aren't married to. some guys think they own you then.
2007-06-21 21:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by intelligent80000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i dunno man make her feel comfortabel and just make sure you keep on telling her and assuring her that you are doing it cause you love her, just make sure this is for the long haul and not a pitty thing
2007-06-21 21:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by half insane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a new one
2007-06-21 21:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋