I want my life back, what the heck happened to me?

Question

Over the course of 3 years I gained 80lbs. I know its alot and now im really working on my weight. Problem is, everything in my life has seemed to shift. Its like me and one of my females friends switched places. I had a good man, good job, nice body, and wasnt happy because i was immature. now i have the knowledge and not the same possessions. I use to get so much male attention, good guys too, now i only can date jerks. Is it just my weight, can weight can really alter your life so badly. or am i cursed. Every turn i make seems to turn out bad. I dont know what to do. I want to be healthly, in all areas of life, have a good relationship when im ready, and free myself from debt. i feel like im losing myself and soon the old me is going to be a distant memory. anyone have any words of insight or ever been in this situation and got out of it?

Answer 1

Often when people are depressed they project that image which in turn attracts other people with bad self esteem. You need to concentrate on losing the weight since it seems to be holding you back from being happy. Once you accomplish that goal you will have your self respect back and will be able to tackle anything. Every time you want to eat something and have a pity party get up and walk instead. I work at a YMCA and have seen many women pull themselves out of a rut. You won't even believe the energy and positive attitude you will get.

Answer 2

I think your kind of cursed. Probably to show you what it is like to have things really wrong with your life,not things you think are wrong. I think if you went back to your old life now you would probably be a lot better of a person. Try weight loss pills (people that are overweight do get treated a lot differently), go to a debt website and then call up a debt counslor. Here are some websites

www.incharge.org
www.adshq.org
www.CreditSolutions.com
www.CareOneCredit.com

I hope things get better for you!

Answer 3

After I got divorced and some other circumstances I gained 60 pounds. Part of this was a way for me to hide and not have to get involved in life and men again. If you're way overweight and live on an island like I do it really cuts out some of your social outlets. But as I am getting better in my personal life, I am getting better in my weight loss to. I know I was eating for comfort and for the abiity to hide.

Answer 4

Read page 2 at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and practise daily, one of the relaxation techniques, and see the tips at the mental-health-abc and conquering stress websites, then check out the self esteem sites. Eat several small, well balanced meals daily, preceded 20 mins earlier with a large glass of water. Make saving a habit: do a budget; save 10% - 30% of DISPOSABLE income: learn to enjoy saving, and go to your library, and read books on household tips; make your own cleaning products; wear cheap/old clothes when at home ( maybe change them if visitors drop in); go to op shops for clothes; there are MANY ways to save. Eat healthily, (mostly vegetarian) but not expensively, and go out shopping/eating/clubs less, but still maintain your social network.

Answer 5

I believe you suffer from anxiety. It might be a mild form but still what you have described leads down the pathway to this disorder. Nothing you cannot address and once you have an understanding of it and manage it the rest of your life will fall back nicely into place. My profile under anxiety has more information, nothing to buy, just good advice.

Answer 6

well you certainly are focused on the results of your actions, I think you would do better to focus on your actions that brought you the results. A good counsellor can help you figure out what happened to you, and no it wasn't just immaturity, you had obvious self destructive issues and you need to find those and deal with them. If you don't, your downward spiral will just continue.

Answer 7

Welcome to the club.