seeing my momma after five years--nervous?

Question

next week is my mom's birthday (step-mom actually...since I was five y/o; she was the one who raised me and I don't know my real mother-no bio mom in 15 years) and she and I haven't seen each other in awhile...i was a pretty messed up kid: depressed, suicidal, my father and I didn't get along (he was abusive to me when we were alone-but never in front of my momma)...so because I had so many problems and because my father was occasionally beating me I moved out at age 14...she and I wrote letters for a year then I got mad at her...dad kept putting her in the middle and it made it hard for her and I to get along when she loved both him and me but he and I hate eachother...we stopped writing letters and never talked until last thanksgiving...I called her and she answered! we've talked several times since then and I decided to ask her out to lunch this weekend when I come to town to visit my friends...I got her a b-day present and we set the day/time/place but now I'm nervous...help?
:(

is there any thing I can do to prepare myself to see a woman who I love so much but also who I've hurt so bad and haven't seen in almost five years?!
I'm so scared!

Answer 1

you are already prepared "woman who I love so much".

Answer 2

You're mom will understand if you are nervous. It's been a while, so more than likely, you will both be nervous. Just talk to her about how you truly feel. It will pay-off! Mom, step-mom, or anyone who has raised anyone will understand1 Think it over.....there is nothing to be nervous about. She loves you! Have fun at lunch!

♥ Beth

Answer 3

BLESS your heart for what you've done. I don't blame you for being scared and nervous and worried. I would be too. Screw your courage up a notch. She won't bite and is probably just as nervous as you are. From my perspective, you have only gain and no loss in the offing. Don't expect her to "make it right" with your father, and you'll do well. Good luck.

Answer 4

You DIDN'T hurt her! You left only for self-preservation!! I DO hope you are taking good care of yourself and that your life is much more positive!! You really deserve it!! Good for you for contacting her! She was probably torn between her husband and you--but seems to really love you from what you have said! Just concentrate on your own happiness of seeing her and know that she will be very happy to see you--and especially to know that you are doing well!! Lots of Great Luck!!

Answer 5

even if ya'll had problems in th epast love conquers all, so don't even sweat it, relax and focus on the good times. Sooner or later you will have to deal with the bad, but try to bring and re inforce the good for now

Answer 6

Awwwwwwww, don't worry. She knows you love her since you were the one to reach out and call her. If she didn't love you or forgive you she wouldn't agree to meet you. Moms love there kids unconditionally and only want the best.You're going to do fine with your lunch date. Hugs to you :)

Answer 7

Sorry, I not know how to advise you.

We only have one of each of certain relatives.
When they are gone, they are gone.
Value them while you can.

I had wonderful parents. I never appreciated them when I was a kid. My mom died when I was a teenager.

My father was amazingly tolerant with me, as I look back.
He supported me in college ... I got to Junior year then flunked out. He helped me find what kind of work I could do with what know-how I had ... turned out to be in computers.

I had some minimum pay jobs, then I was at one of those fly by night computer schools ... I did not know at the time that is what it was ... I was taking various computer classes

I got to the point where Dad wasn't going to pay for classes I wanted to take, and my minimum wage wasn't going to pay for them ... the head of the computer school said that I had done GREAT in the introductiory classes & he offered me an "instructor" position in the introductory stuff, in exchange for free tuition on the advanced classes I wanted.

I was still living at my Dad's house, and it never occurred to me to offer to reimburse his expenses. I was a self-centered brat.

Anyhow, one day my Dad informs me that he is taking a Sabbatical in California ... that's where every 7-10 years a University Professor teaches for a year at some other University ... it is not a vacation, but a change of pace for College Professors.

His home would be occupied by a family from Sweden doing a Sabattical at University of Cincinnati, where Dad taught & so did Mom till she died. I had to move out before their arrival.

Dad gave me an ultimatim
* Either I get a REAL job (he did not consider the deal I had at the computer school to be a real job) that pays enough to support me in my own apartment
* Or I travel with him to California where he will help me get into College again ... which is not an easy task after you have flunked out of one.

I was able to transfer credits for classes I had got Ok grades in, some topics I had to take again. I took every class they had to offer in Computers ... I got pretty good grades A & B there. I had seen enough handwriting on the wall of technology history to see the need to take a class in touch typing ... I never did as well as the gals there who wanted jobs as secretary typists, but I did well enough to outstrip most all other candidates any time I went to some job interview where I had to take a "computer test"

I used my high grades in Math & Science from earlier to get what was needed to graduate, while I focused on becoming champion computer expert ... it was some years later that I learned that "computer expert" is bad ego ... "computer professional" vastly superior to be.

After one year, my Dad went back to Cincinnati, but he still supported me in California ... I figure my grades had lept up or something, we never discussed his thinking there.

So after graduation, I am job hunting, and prospects look much better than when I was in Cincinnati, then my sister phones ... Dad is in the Hospital, serious condition.

I race back to Cincinnati. Dad did not survive.
At that point I was about 22 years old.

I miss him terribly.
My kid sister hurt much more ... she 6 years younger than me.
She ends up getting married about youngest legal to do so.

It does not work out, but divorce is friendly.
She has remarried.

I never married.

Answer 8

no, don't do anything.. take it as it comes... u can respond to her needs and feelings as well as yours and u will be ok...be yrself... after all she is yr mom... she too will be nervous... remeber tht... be yrself and everything will be taken care of..ok...