im getting cold feet?

Question

im getting married on july 7th but i have all thesedoubts.... for example we have a 8 month old baby and in a way i feel were probably only doing it b/c of the baby.... we are two totally different people. we already live w/ each other and i feel like the chemistry is gone all he ever wants to do is sit and watch tv, eat, sleep... i ask him if hes sure he wantt to go through with it and he says yes but i dont feel he really wants to??? i dont know what to do

Answer 1

This sounds a lot more intense than simple pre-wedding jitters. I think you need to slow down and make very sure whether this is a step you want to take.

Marriage doesn't solve your relationship problems. If he's paying not attention to you and you feel the chemistry is gone, a wedding ring isn't going to change that. If you don't believe him when he says he wants to marry you, then 'I do' isn't going to make him more demonstrative or you more certain.

I think you two could use some couples counselling before you do anything else. You may find the spark again, but if you discover you really don't belong together, it's better to know that before making vows you can't keep.

You also need to think of your child. My husband's parents stayed together for his sake for years. He was actually relieved when they got divorced. Make sure you're not going to put your child through that.

Best of luck to you. I hope that you find answers that will make you happy in the longrun.

Answer 2

If you have doubt you may need to think this over, because later on down the road you don't want to look back on this and say you made the biggest mistake of you life....no one says just because you have a baby you have to get married, yes it is the right thing to do, but if you are not happy with the relationship, it may make matter worst on the baby and you..I would really think hard about going through with this because when you get married it is suppose to be for the rest of your life and without any doubts...I would sit with my Fiancee' and talk to him and really ask him why does he want to marry you? and if it it is only for the baby, then i think you know your answer...Good Luck and Best wishes in what ever you chose to do...just a small little hint, I've been there...If you need to talk or someone to just listen just e-mail me and I would be glad to try and help you....

Answer 3

If you don't marry him you will regret it,how would you feel if he turned around and married someone else. You might not like the idea of him sitting around eating & watching TV but isn't that better then going to the bars. No one said marriage will always be fun & games it is what you two make it.Just because the two of you are opposite is a good thing other wise you two would be bored to death. What ever you do don't listen to the *egg heads* who are telling you not to get married .They don't know what they are talking about and it's your life they are playing around with. Search your heart and you will find what you are looking for.

Answer 4

Everyone gets cold feet, even as you walk down the isle, that's why you have your father holding your arm as you walk down, for support because your nervous.

What you need to do is decide if the life you have now is what you want for the rest of your lives. If not you have two choices, you either change it together or you don't get married.

But make your decision based on what you two want, don't let the fact that you have a baby make the decisions for your. If you marry just because of the baby it won't work. Children know when their parents arn't happy.

A child is better with one happy parent then two unhappy ones.

Answer 5

forget asking him, what do you want to do? Do you love him? Can you see yourself with him for a life time? Is he a good father? You can always marry him later if you decide to, but it is hard to divorce once you marry. Don't get married just to have a pretty wedding. It's all about you and the baby at this point and if you want to marry, why have you waited this long? Postpone it, until you know for sure and when you want to marry someone, you feel it from your head to your toes.

Answer 6

I think you guys should go to a couples conseling before going through with everything it may be cold feet by it may also be God letting you know it's not your time yet to get married. Don't get married because of the child. althought people are suppose to wait untill marriage to have sex and have children, you made a mistake and you will learn from it, but it's not a reason to marry someone if he is not the one.

Answer 7

Don't get married because of your child. that child will probably grow up much more happier in a household that doesn't have tension. babies feel everything you know. Plus if your not feeling him anymore then thats even more of a reason not to marry him. If you love him then go to couples counseling maybe that'll help out.

Answer 8

Not just cold feet... Sounds like frostbite in need of amputation. Before you start asking yourself if you want to be *married* to the guy, try to figure out if you even want to *be* with him. Do you see yourself with this person 5 or 20 years from now? If not - don't do it! Not for the baby, not for anything.

Answer 9

Run like Hell girl!
You only have one chance at getting it right sometimes. If your man is not motivated to take care of you then your love is cheap. Responsibility and commitment equal love. Cold feet is one thing, but cold feet that has a list of real down to earth worries is acceptable. Try to look at his side of view, and then consider yours, talk to your mother, friends, etc and then make up your mind and stand tall in your decisions. Good luck either way, but make it the real choice you want!

Answer 10

Don't get married just because you had a baby. I'm sorry but thats a dumb reason to get married.

If you aren't happy now you won't be any happier with a ring on your finger. It's not a fairytale, the frog doesn't magically turn into a prince. You marry a frog, you get a frog. So if you don't like frogs you better call it off.