Many people think I'm too modern, or too feministic, but I think the first date should be paid buy whoever asked who out. At the bare minimum, each person should pay for him/herself. After that, I think a nice alternation should be set up where the male pays for one date, and the female pays for the next. Sure, going Dutch is fine, but that just feels impersonal. Maybe it's just me, but always going strict Dutch make me feel like the other person wouldn't have my back in a tight situation. I don't know, but I want to hear other's HONEST opinions. Do many ladies of today still expect the guy to pay their way? Do the males of today feel insulted not paying, or having to pay everytime? Please let me know. I really want to know how much America's viewpoints on dating have changed over the past few decades.
2007-06-21 12:23:55 · 9 answers · asked by iceprincessk7 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't say going Dutch made me think the guy didn't have my back, I said ALWAYS going Dutch did that. After a few months of dating, and neithr the guy or girl offered to pay even once, wouldn't you be questioning a few things, like would they go out with you, if you said, "I'm short on cash right now." That's what I meant by that statement.
2007-06-21 12:45:29 · update #1
As for me.. I think whoever sets the date up should pay.. or at least offer to pay. If I was to ask a guy out for supper, I would plan on paying unless he insisted... Otherwise I usually expect the guys i'm dateing to at least cover the first date.. after that its not that big of a deal who pays..
But since i'm a down to earth girl.. I like dates like baseball games- hikes- fishing etc.. so if he pays for the game.. i'll offer to buy the "dogs" or an ice cream cone.. Its not so much about the money- but about spending time and getting to know eachother!
2007-06-21 12:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Brittany Danielle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heres HONESTY. "traditional" and "gentleman" are words for men being used for money.
I agree with you-split the bill, except they wouldnt have your back? Huh? Money has nothing to do with having your back. I think if one person makes a lot more then the other they can pay. Also if one person is a lot older, ie 35 yo with 22 yo the older one can pay-usually the older one has more money. But I've found most women disagree and always want the man to pay-even if they're older. Or they will test him by offering to split the check and then think he's a prick if he accepts. Most guys have been pussywhipped into that idea, and run the risk of having the girl dump them if they expect to split the bill. I've dated women who made double or more then what I did, and women that were older, and they still wanted me to pay even if they suggested the date. Women are cheap and want to hold on to their cash. We are all equal now-except the man pays for everything. If a woman thinks she is inferior to a man then she should expect him to pay and know that he is paying for sex.
America's viewpoints on who pays have changed less then other things. The best one is when a guy puts on his nice clothes, picks up the girl, opens her door, drives her to the expensive restaurant she wants to go to, listens to her during the meal, smiles and is charming, pays for dinner and drinks, takes her back home, walks her to the door and she says "I don't kiss on the first date". Thats when you know its the last date. I don't do that by the way. Expensive dates are for people that are already sleeping together. Listen to Tom Leykis.
2007-06-21 19:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm personally a little old-fashioned, so I think it's nice for the guy to offer to pay all the time. however, on the other hand, it's also impolite for the girl to accept every time as well - she should pull some weight! It's just...gentlemanly, men are supposed to be "providers" i guess is how I'd put it...but yeah. Definitely the first date, I'd appreciate it if the guy offered (I'd not necessarily take him up on it). I think each person should insist on paying certain times (like, on his birthday, don't make him pay, and on yours he shouldn't make you, stuff like that). As for going Dutch all the time - I totally agree, it feels more like having lunch with a friend than being on a date.
2007-06-21 19:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by rivendellrose2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the dating couples age when it comes to paying.
At my age, the man would be highly insulted if I offered to pay. However, I always offer to pay the tip, and if he insists I don't then I know. If there are future dates with the same person, I already know and don't ask again. Then of course, down the road, I would make dinner for him.
2007-06-21 19:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a man, I feel I should pay. Tradition. If a woman offers to pay for her own, I let them know I got the check and you can get the tip. I feel a man ask her out he should pay. The last date I went on, I paid for the movie tickets and she paid for the popcorn and drinks. Her idea.
2007-06-21 19:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that although whoever did the asking should OFFER to pay, as a good gesture, they should go dutch. This eliminates any misconceptions that the other person OWES them anything for later that night, if you know what I mean.
2007-06-21 19:29:27 · answer #6 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if its the modern times or old aged. It's about showing a good gesture to each other, be proper and make sure that you earn his respect by letting him take the bills, but make sure that you don't take it for granted.
2007-06-21 19:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by C A M S ™ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think if the girl asks the guy out on the first date, they should split the check. if the guy asks, he picks it up
2007-06-21 19:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by panther2188us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you because it is traditional.
2007-06-21 19:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by don't hate snowflake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋