Why does he need to buy me an engagement ring?

Question

Ok. I have already been through one engagement. I went 6 months without a ring and I was still as giddy as can be to be getting married. Now I am engaged again and again, I don't have a ring. I don't care. I just want the wedding band. Why do people think that you need an engagement ring in order to be engaged? I hardly wear jewlry and the jobs I take make it hard for me to have rings on. I love him and he loves me. That is all I care about.

Answer 1

I don't think everyone thinks you NEED an engagement ring. I didn't have an engagement ring. The bands we chose for our wedding rings were huge and there was no way I could wear another ring with the band. If you are okay with it tell everyone else to keep their opinions to themselves. If you are really not okay with it then talk it over with your betrothed and get a little something. It doesn't even have to be a diamond, maybe your birthstone with a couple of little diamonds around it. Congratulations. I hope this one works out for you. My daughter did the same thing and she couldn't be happier that she booted #1 and waited for the right guy!!

Answer 2

There is nothing that says he has to buy an engagement ring. In your case it would only be an outward symbol to other people. Being proposed to is the engagement. Some women want a ring and others dont. Some are happy with a small stone while others expect a huge one. Each person is different and should do what they want and can afford. I think you are wise in not spending money on something you dont really want.

Answer 3

If you're happy without a ring, then that's all that matters.

I love my engagement ring, but I wear a lot of rings. I like rings. I also love my wedding ring. When I asked my husband if he wanted a wedding ring, he looked horrified at the very idea. He doesn't wear any jewelry. It doesn't matter. He's completely committed to me as I am to him. Wearing a ring or not doesn't change that one iota.

More importantly, you say your job makes rings impractical. If a ring is only going to get in the way or put you in harm's way, then don't get one.

Engagement and wedding rings are symbolic of your committment, but they are not the committment; that's made in your heart rather than on your finger. Do what works for you and don't worry about what anyone else says about it.

Answer 4

Hi

Many congratulations on your engagement. And I dont think you have to have a ring if you dont want one! It is a 'custom' that men have to buy a ring for a girl.. so much so that Ive noticed when I hear people speak of friends getting engaged, they dont say 'they are getting married" they say "she got her ring" - as if the ring was the most important thing.

I really think you should do what you feel comfortable with. If you arent into jewelry then dont get one. Ill bet you get alot of flack from parents and friends. But stick to your guns, and explain politely that you really dont care to have one.

Maybe you and your fiance might like to treat yourselves to a really extra special honeymoon instead of spending money on the ring.

Have a great wedding.. and best wishes! :o)

Answer 5

It's a tradition. At least I see it as a tradition. Not having an engagement ring, to me, makes it seem like he's still my boyfriend. An engagement ring is a token of a man or woman's love for his or her significant other and it is a good way for others to know that you are taken without having to open your mouth. If you don't want one, than tell him so.

Answer 6

Other people's opinions simply don't count. It's your relationship and you get to run it the way you want to. A lot of the pressure for a ring is the result of the marketing campaign by the DeBeers company; they've been extraordinarily successful in planting in the American conscious that when a man gets engaged to a woman, he needs to buy her a diamond ring that costs six months of his income. Of course, that's ridiculous; many other types of stones that are *much* cheaper are actually much more rare than diamonds and, in my opinion, much more beautiful. And most cultures of the world commemorate engagements with other things besides a ring with a precious gem. Good for you for asserting your individuality and resisting the pressure to fatten DeBeers' profits.

Answer 7

Okay, then don't get a ring. Some people like to have the ring as a symbol of their engagement. It is a tradition that a lot of people like to keep.

Answer 8

It is meant to show the seriousness of the commitment and add weight to the engagement. Shows sacrifice and also is a status symbol.

Some people think why do you need to get married, all that matters is that we love each other.

Answer 9

Need isn't a word that applies in this situation. No one needs even the wedding band.

It's very likely that he wants you to wear an engagement ring so that other men don't think you're available.

Answer 10

Love isnt just a mood. Love is more than that. If you are engaged you should know that.

That you feel "in love" better not be all that you care about.

Try caring about his need (not want) to rejoice in and share your willingness to be his bride? Some joys must be shared, and to deny that is callous. Will you hide your first baby? Of course not! You will rejoice, and its essential for the people in your life to be a part of that. You will not just pass him/her off as someones kid, but you will put your name on him/her and take care of them. You will shout in your love language that the child is identified as a part of yourself.

To deny a man that identification with you (the wife) is just as cruel as to deny the child the identification if the parent is willing to identify like that.

It sounds like you are afraid of the ring, superstitious. THATS A VALID FEELING! Say it to yourself "I have a right to my feelings". That is a valid feeling. Your feelings arent the only ones that count, and you need to share with him so he can participatively emotionally experience what you feel before he makes his decision about the engagement ring. You have a right to voice your feelings, and to act as you wish. You dont have a requirement to wear it, but he has the right to buy it, and give it to you.