What should I do?

Question

My mother called me the other day asking where I was going to stay the day before the wedding and I told her at my home with my fiance. She did not appove of seeing my soon to be husband until I walk down the isle. I told her that I was not going to that. Well I tried calling her all day yesterday and finally she returned my call later in the evening. I called my little sister and ask if my mom got her a dress and she said no. So I called my mom to see when she was going to get her the flower girl dress and she said she did. Then she went back into the same subject about what we argued about the day before and I told her the same thing I was not going to do it her way this is how I want things. She still didn't approved and said I was disrespecting her and she was not going to attend the wedding then hung up. Five minutes later she called back to say she was going to attend the wedding but maybe not go the dinner, I told her I needed a firm answer weather if she and my 3 little sisters

where going to attend the dinner becuz we made reservationand there are a minumin of people that need to be there so if they were not going to attend I could invite other people and she to go ahead and invite the other peopel. So I said ok. Now I am wondering what I should do, should I invite more 4 more people or not? We are on a tight bugget. Am I in the wrong to make my weddding her way?

And my wedding is this weekend. So I am on a time schedule????

Answer 1

Wow.. what a petty argument! Your mother should be ashamed. This is your special day.. dont let her get you down.

Try to speak to her like an adult.. explain again that it is your wedding... not hers. and explain you are not changing your mind so there is no reason to discuss it.

Im sorry your mom is acting like the child here!

Answer 2

I am usually about doing things your way since it is your wedding, but I think in this case it would be beneficial for you to give in. I mean do you really need to spend the night with your fiance...you have the rest of your life. It is very common for brides not to see there husbands after the rehearsal dinner until they walk down the isle; its part of the fun not to mention a little superstition (which some people from her day take as seriously as religion). If your mom has not been pushy about anything but this, let her have her one little desire to stay w/ her daughter one last night....you never know, she might have had something planned and you are ruining it by being a spoil sport lol! Yes she may be being childish, but she is probably also feeling nervous for you and is hoping all will go well; and if a little superstition goes along w/ that then so be it. Save them room at your dinner, you know she wants to be there, and tell her you've been thinking about tradition and you think it might be a good idea for you to stay w/ your family on your final night as a bachelorette. It will all work out fine in the end and it will destress your day knowing there will be no tension between you two. Good luck to you, next year you will laugh at the stress you've been going through;)

Answer 3

I think maybe your Mom had the right intention but went about it all wrong. It is your day and it's unfortunate you didn't speak about this before. My son and his finace lived together for 2 years. When it came time to decide where they would stay the night before the wedding I offered for my future daughter and her twin sister to stay at my house(both of the bride's parents were deceased) My husband went out to stay with his son. The 2 girls were up half the night talking and laughing. On the morning of the wedding they went to have their hair and nails done. My now beautiful daughter said it was such a great idea to stay away from her future husband the night before. She was so nervous on her wedding day we couldn't let her hold the boquet for too long cause she shook so much the flowers started to fall off. It is your decision, but sometimes Mom's have good insight into certain things.

Answer 4

It's a small thing in the grand scheme of your life - is it REALLY worth having your mom upset with you and your fiance? I would agree to get a hotel room for either him or you so you can stay in separate places the night before the wedding. It's one day/night. It's worth it to not RUIN your r'ships. It's also not a good way to start out a marriage. You want your husband to have a great r'ship w/ your family, right? Well, this is going to get things off on a very bad foot. You could end up paying for this your whole life.

Sit down with your mom - stop all this phone calling - and say "mom, I love you and it's so important to me that you and my sisters be at the wedding. We have agreed to compromise and do what you'd like on this one thing but please understand, from here on out....my fiance and I are a family and we have to do what is best for US."

Answer 5

I think your mom is just being dramatic, she is probably stressed since the day is almost here. Dont invite other people, she will most likely choose to go she just wants to make you worry about it. If she got to the reception and found there was no place for her that would cause a major issue on your wedding day.

Stick your ground with where you want to spend your wedding night but try and remain calm and not get her worked up.

Answer 6

Mom is trying to hold you emotionally hostage, and it sucks!

It is so unfortunate for her to be doing this this close to the wedding day, but people can be very selfish!

I would count on them coming, because in all probability they are; it would really surprise me if she missed the wedding and dinner because of this.

However, I wouldn't say anything else to her about the wedding. Keep her on a need to know basis. If you think she will try to get into it with you again, have someone else in the family or your wedding planner call her with the time she needs to be there for pictures and other details like that.

Enjoy, and try not to let her ruin your day!

Answer 7

This is one last chance of spending time with your mom. Your wedding night has more romance and flair if you at least spend one night away...and most times the night before the wedding is a real fun time being able to spend your last 'free' night away from the groom.
Time away from the groom builds for a burst of energy on the wedding night. Trust me...having bedtime with the groom the night before the wedding...makes the wedding night a bore. Making him wait, just that one night...he'll be at top performance when you guys slip off the wedding attire and slip into the silk sheets of candlelight and body oils on your wedding night.
The night before your wedding have fun...it's your last moment of being single and free. Your bridesmaids and you can have a blast...watching movies, eating popcorn, giving facials to one another and doing your nails.
Let me know if I'm right on this...I've had it both ways. Slept with the groom before the wedding and after my husband died...got married again and did the girl thing the night before. The girl thing is a whole lot more fun...and the wedding night a whole lot more hot!
If the groom needs a sitter...call up his mom or buddies to keep him company.
Have a blessed day!

Answer 8

Your mother is being very childish. It's your decision to make and she should let you make it. I think you should call her and make sure she is going to let your sister be the flower girl. Then tell her you need to know if they are coming to the reception or not because if not then you still have time to invite 4 other people. You shouldn't actually invite others and should keep the spaces for them, but maybe by acting nonchalant about it she will get the picture.

Answer 9

Stop fighting with your mom now. Get an aunt or granny to talk to her. You certainly do not want your mother to miss any of your wedding. This is a stressful time for both of you, so this kind of thing often happens. Leave it open for her. Don't invite any others. Tell her you have included her and want her to be there. I feel certain she will not miss it. She is just having issues with all your spiteful independence. You were suppose to stay sweet and obedient forever!

Answer 10

When I got married, I was already living with my fiance. We held our wedding at a local B&B, so fortunately, it was very convenient for me to stay overnight away from home.

FYI, I was very glad I did. I would have been even more stressed out if I had been at home, worrying about getting him ready, too. I hope you can relax, and try to enjoy your mom's suggestion. Perhaps she will pay for a hotel room for the night!

I don't recommend inviting the other people at this late date. They will definitely know that they weren't on the "A" list, and will probably be insulted.