my sister called me at work yesterday and told me that she is pregnant. i have custody of her and am at stalemate on what to do. Abortion is not an option to me or her. I see a long stressfull couple of years ahead of me.
2007-06-21 11:21:40 · 17 answers · asked by William 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If she wants to keep the baby and raise it herself then support her decision. Don't try to sway her towards giving it up because you'll only alienate her. Just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to about it and if she does decide to give it up then be there for her to lean on when life seems it's darkest.
2007-06-21 11:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by twinkie.2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If abortion is out of the question, then you and she should research her remaining options and determine what's best for both her and the baby she will have, and to a lesser degree, for you. All in all, it's what's best for the baby.
Can the two of you together raise a child, financially, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, etc.? What will happen if one of you marries or begins a long-term relationship? Will your sister be able to complete her education while raising a child, or will this end her schooling, dooming her to a lifetime of low-paying jobs? Are you able and willing to support three people comfortably while she attends classes? Who's going to take over child care while you're working and she's in school? How will you pay them? Can your health insurance add a niece or nephew if you are not the child's custodian but your sister is?
Hard questions, harder answers. Often giving the child of an unmarried 15-year-old to a couple that can give him/her a good life filled with love is the best choice, although heartbreaking. I'm sure that you'll both do your best to do what's right.
2007-06-21 18:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's rough. All you can do is be supportive at this point. Try not to let the stress get to you. Start talking now about whether adoption is an option. If not, she'll need a plan on how to finish school while caring for a baby. How much will she need to work? Are you willing to babysit? How much?
Do what has to be done to get the father involved (and his parents, too) . You don't have to do this alone.
Good luck to you all.
2007-06-21 18:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by browneyedgirl623 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would enroll her in some parenting classes so she can get a realistic idea what it will be like to take care of a baby. Have her get a job so she'll know what it will take to support a baby. Finally, get her some counseling so she can get professional help in sorting out her feelings and figuring out what she truly wants to do before the baby is born.
As far as the father is concerned, I would discuss this issue with his parents immediately to determine what they expect his involvement to be. As a mother of three sons and a former single mother, I can guarantee you that if it were my son his involvement would be great. However, not every parent holds my viewpoint.
Your sister is very lucky to have you. Apparently she has had some trauma in the past. Be supportive and find as many resources as you can to assist her emotionally and physically.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-06-25 02:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by motherofthree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is awesome that you are taking care of your sister!! What I would personally do is tell her her options...I don't believe in abortions either!, and let her weigh the risks herself. Whatever she chooses, you just need to be as supportive as you can! She has to be scared and stressed out as well. Get her to a doctor and keep her and the baby healthy. You have up to 9 months depending on how far along she is, to decide what you want to do. Good Luck!
2007-06-21 18:27:42 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The deed has been done all you can do know is to support her, make sure she knows that just because she will be a young mum she doesn't need to fall into the stero-type (no job, life, future), get her into some study so she will have skills to get out and work once the baby is old enough.
Good luck
2007-06-21 19:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider adoption. They have open adoptions where the two of you could pick out a wonderful family and get updates on how the child is doing.
15 is way too young to be a parent, she has her whole life ahead of her.
2007-06-21 18:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice: get her the best prenatal care possible! Be supportive of her, this will be a very trying time for her, her hormones are going to be changing, and she's going to be very confused. I'd wait until the second trimester before trying to talk about options for the baby...the first trimester can be very difficult, the second your body seems to calm down, and she'll be able to talk with you better.
Good luck and take care of that growing baby!
2007-06-21 18:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by KB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk over options with her, adoption and keeping it...then take her in for an exam and be sure all is ok...you need to be supportive of her...we were all "children" once and pushing her away or making her make a horrible decision will remain with HER for the rest of her life, not yours.
2007-06-21 18:28:33 · answer #9 · answered by ChelYox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously to me it sounds like your sister is scared and is turning to you for help as well as answers. dont lose your patience with her just be calm and realize that you could be the person to help her. explain to her she has options. i totally agree on the abortion thing but what about adoption? if ur sister feels like she cant do this then maybe the best thing for this baby is to place it with a family or another family member that is financiallly able to care for this baby.
2007-06-21 18:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by April 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋