A family in our are just lost their soon to been six year old son .
Today was his funeral. He died June 2nd and his birthday was yesterday....
thanks.
2007-06-21 10:57:48 · 11 answers · asked by ღ♥ღLaurieღ♥ღ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY
Oh, too late for that.
2007-06-21 11:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing that you can do, but be there to listen, when and if they wish to talk, but if you want to offer them comfort, you can tell them, that G-d wanted their son to help make the world a better place, and made him into an Angel. The truth is, that there are no words or deeds that anybody could say to this couple unless they lost a child themselves. I lost 2 grandsons in the last 15 years. They would have been brothers, The oldest died at 15 months, and the younger at 2 months and that was 3 years ago. As you can see, we are not over it, nor will we ever be and neither will your friend. They will learn to live with the loss in time, but they will never be the same as they were, before this tragedy. You could tell them if it is appropriate, that the child is not in any pain, and where he is, he is happy and not alone., in their heads, they will accept it much sooner, than in their hearts. I am sure that in their hearts they are raging and screaming against fate, which is futile, but it is their will of life and faith that can get them through this dark time. Don't be surprised if they say that they wish it was them, because that is a normal reaction. Do not force them to eat or drink, offer it, but don't be shocked if it is refused . Eventually they will survive the acute pain, but that is something that happens with time, and that differs from person to person. If they have other children, it will be harder, because children don't realize how permanent death is,and they will need to put some of their sorrow away, in order to help the surviving children to cope. This will not happen overnight, be prepared to be there for them, in a month or more. It takes a long time for it to sink in. I wish you good luck with your friend, and I feel sorry for their loss.
2007-06-21 19:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by judyrobins14 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will not get advice better than that sent you by Dance with Unicorns:
Quote, "Give them time to grieve. Let them talk if they need to. Check to see that they have the things that they need - help them with ordinary things like grocery shopping, taking their other children to places. Bring food AFTER the funeral, when nobody else is thinking about doing that. Make sure their lawn is mowed, or their car is washed; make sure they have clean clothes and a clean house. Every move they make is going to be horrible for a while. Unobtrusively, and without seeking thanks, help keep the small stuff out of their way so that they can go about the healing process."
2007-06-21 18:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
"A family in our area" does not sound as if they are very close friends, I would definatley respect their privacy and let them heal unless you knew them and their son. If you suddenly try to become their closest friends because of this tragedy they will resent the intrusion, after all you will be doing it only to curb your own grief at their loss. Take my advise, my daughters boyfriend also died in a car accident at the age of 15. it hit me as if he were my own son. The last thing I wanted was well wishing from people that were not even close to us before.
2007-06-21 18:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by califgypsy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give them time to grieve. Let them talk if they need to. Check to see that they have the things that they need - help them with ordinary things like grocery shopping, taking their other children to places. Bring food AFTER the funeral, when nobody else is thinking about doing that. Make sure their lawn is mowed, or their car is washed; make sure they have clean clothes and a clean house. Every move they make is going to be horrible for a while. Unobtrusively, and without seeking thanks, help keep the small stuff out of their way so that they can go about the healing process.
My sympathies to your friends.
2007-06-21 18:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Stay in touch with them, don't be afraid to mention the child.
This situation is massive -- it changes the parents relationship, people never get over it.
Try to persuade them to get counseling without being pushy -- look for any noticeable change in the parent's behavior, especially sudden personality change. Of course there will be a long grieving period but there will be a time to try to move on.
I've been there -- it's a sad situation and in hindsight, this is the best I can offer. Good luck.
2007-06-21 18:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by conover1900 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Theres not much you can say to help. Thats one of the hardest things, parents shouldn't have to bury their kids.
DO NOT tell them you know what it feels like, or something like that. You clearly don't, that just hurts them more.
Give them some time to grieve, then keep in contact with them. Offer to help with things, money, chores around the house. Just be their friend.
2007-06-21 21:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't smother them, but let them know you're available should they need anything.
It's going to be a hellish time for them and they may just wish to be left alone for the next while. Basically, just follow their lead.
2007-06-21 18:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a lot of good advice here already, but one more thing to do is Pray for them that God will give them comfort in this time of grief.
2007-06-21 19:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can think of is don't say he's "soon to be six". He will always be five now.
2007-06-21 19:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Goddess of Grammar 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You listen. I know it sounds simplistic. But sometimes all you need to do is REALLY listen and be there for them. My heartfelt sorrow.
2007-06-21 18:08:52 · answer #11 · answered by sparky 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋