Our neice married about 6 years ago. I was invited to all her showers which I attended and gave lavish gifts then we gave expensive wedding gifts all from her registries. No thank you notes ever came. Now her mother is giving her a baby shower and I feel like an ATM for gifts. Am I petty to feel less than eager to attend? Should I send a modest gift and let it go? I don't want to send no gift at all as that might cause a problem within the family. I guess i just don't understand not sending any thank you notes whatsoever for multiple shower gifts and then wedding gifts. Advice?
2007-06-21 10:33:48 · 30 answers · asked by Cheryl H. 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It could be generational. Also depends on individuals. My dil didn't send one thank you card after her wedding, even though I bought them, wrote down who gave what, and even provided stamps. Her generation just doesn't do that I guess.
If this is a baby shower, then the present isn't really for your niece anyway, it would be for the baby. So have fun with it, pick out what YOU want to give, what you think the baby could use, or would like... an extra soft blankie... a colorful toy to stimulate her teeny little mind....
Know that you won't get a thank you card. So don't do it for the card, do it for you.
2007-06-21 10:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-20 19:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, are you saying because she didn't send cards you don't care enough to send a gift? Did you send a gift FOR the thank you card? You see, some people just may not know enough to send a card, which is obviously the right thing to do. That having been said, do you feel she was appreciative? Did she really seem to adore the gifts, or maybe mention in passing over the years, "I just love those pots from the wedding, I can't believe how much use I get" or something of the like? I mean, it seems ridiculous to connect thank you cards to other gifts, because generally you give a gift because you care about the person. I doubt a thank you note stopped you from caring of your niece. You may want to pull her mother aside and mention that some people are very put off by the lack of thanks, and have her talk to her about it, but I wouldn't let something so small impact what you want to do. Do what you'd like, and know that she obviously does not know her manners!
2007-06-21 10:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by ShouldBeWorking 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I would send a modest gift. I must say that my "thank you" cards got out of my hands late. We had a small wedding so there were not alot of gifts, however we wanted everyone to have a picture of us. Being that we got married at the end of October, and when we got back from our honey moon it was the middle of november (we got married on a cruise ship... and stayed on board for our honeymoon... no time between wedding and vacation). What we did was have Christmas cards made up with our wedding photo on it and doubled them as thank you cards and merry christmas. So, I suppose you could call us guilty of a similar crime. However, I have gone to a few weddings now, where the "thank you" cards are e-cards. They have a nice web design made up then type in the slot and send away. There is no reason that you should not have been thanked... atleast a verbaly. As not to cause any waves in the proverbial family pool... just send a modest gift... and call it quits. Good luck.
2007-06-21 10:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Thank You For Baby Gifts
2016-12-08 16:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you give a gift to get a thank you card or did you give a gift because you wanted to wish them a great marriage?
Really, opinions like these are really sad in my opinion. Give a gift if you want, or don't. Don't give a gift because you can't afford to, or some other reason, but don't give a gift just because you didn't get a little thank you card.
So yes, IMO you are being petty.
I never EVER get that type of attitude where I expect or demand a thank you note for a gift I gave. Like someone said, they are quickly opened and even more quickly read and tossed, so why bother?
2007-06-21 13:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If I take the time to pick out a nice gift for someone and don't get a thank you note, they don't get any more gifts from me. I do not reward bad behavior.
If young people think that thank you notes aren't necessary, then gifts aren't necessary either. However, in your case if you think it would cause trouble in the family, I would get a modest gift, and decline the invitation.
Your niece needs to learn some manners. I like the idea of giving her a box of thank you notes!
2007-06-21 20:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tends to be a trend now. I am young and have attended many friend's weddings AND baby showers with no thank you ever given. I would just suck it up to ignorance and give a gift anyway. You don't want to start some family feud over something this silly.
2007-06-21 10:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by producergirl347 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your neice should have sent thank-you notes but such traditional practices are not valued by young people today. Attend the shower, give whatever gift you feel is appropriate, and know that the thank-you she says at the shower is the only one you will get.
2007-06-21 10:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Most weddings and showers i've been to, didn't send thank you notes. They usualy have a speach at the end , thanking everyone. I don't think it's a big deal, unless you are far away and did not even get a phone call to say they have received it.
I suggest a modest gift if it really bothers you.
2007-06-21 10:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by beebop 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋