Funny Sayings?

Question

My sister is making a present for her friend and she needs like a bunch of cute and funny sayings. Do you have any? And please only clean ones...Thanks!

Answer 1

You have come to the right person...here's a bunch to pick and choose from:

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh, yeah. I like lemons. What else you got?"

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away. And you'll have their shoes.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

We're lost, but we're making good time.

Remember, a good friend will always bail you out of jail...but a true will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun."

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.

You must laugh, at least as much as you cry, just for balance.

Bathe twice a day to be really clean, once a day to be passably clean, and once a week to avoid being a public menace.

It is normal to want to ram his car if he and his new girlfriend have been spotted.

I do believe in reincarnation, but I do not believe there is life before noon.

aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know this so it goes on flying anyway.

Answer 2

world is going to hell and i am driving the bus
A day without sunshine is like, well, night On the other hand you have different fingers
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population
i am tired,

Answer 3

Never moon a werewolf

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Taxation WITH representation ain't so hot either.

If marriage were illegal, then only outlaws would have in-laws.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

There are more horses asses in the world than there are horses.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

If we didn't go crazy once in a while, we'd all go crazy.
(Hawkeye Pierce)

Answer 4

All the laws of Murphy in one place

http://www.murphys-laws.com/

http://cheeringcharms.com/

http://www.humorcolumnist.com/index.html

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Answer 5

go to strangecosmos.com, they have tons