I just found out I am pregnant. I don't know who the father is. Should I get an abortion?

Answer 1

If you're young and would have trouble supporting the child, abortion may be the best option both for you *and* the child.


Be sure to be more careful with sex in the future.


Whatever you choose, it is *your* choice and no one else's. You do NOT have any reason to feel guilty about whatever decision you make. Most of the people who tell you never to have an abortion have never been in your situation.

Answer 2

Let me start by saying that abortion should be a last resort, and that adoption is a good alternative, especially if you are not financially stable, or mature enough to give the child a reasonably good life. I also know how frightening this discovery can be, especially for a teenager or young woman who is not ready to start a family.

My sympathies and heart are with you as you face such a difficult decision, and I know it is not made easier by all of the harsh criticism and judgement you will receive.

As someone who's been around longer and seen more of life than most who will answer your question here, I suggest that you look deeply into your own heart for the answer to your question. Do YOU, in your heart, believe that abortion is the same as killing a new-born baby? If so, you should not get an abortion because it would be hard to live with the guilt you'd feel. If not, then you should still consider the fact that you will always have to live with whatever decision you make. Will you be sad, years from now, that you didn't give birth and get to know the child that could have been? These are questions only YOU can answer.

Please don't listen to the self-righteous Christians who will tell you no, absolutely not, you're a bad person for just thinking about an abortion, you'd be committing murder, etc. None of them have walked in your shoes, and few have faced such a difficult decision. And if causing or allowing the death of a fetus is murder, then count the number of miscarriages and stillbirths that God Himself causes and allows. Do these Christians dare to call God a murderer?

To sum it up, look deeply into your own heart. Consider as many of the implications as you can think of - will the child have a good life? Will you be psychologically okay with having an abortion? Only you can decide what is right for you to do. My heart is with you, and I wish you all the best, dear girl...

** Edit: The assumption that you don't know who the father is, made by so many of the anti-abortionists who've answered your question (but which you did not say), shows how prejudicial and self-righteous their judgement is. They cannot possibly know what you have been through or are going through. They are not you. Please do not listen to them, especially the ones who spew hatred toward you and anyone who disagrees with them.

As for the answerer who suggested you "ask the baby" she might want to remember that fetuses can't speak or understand, and there is no viable baby to "ask" at this point.

It is your decision, dear girl, and yours alone. I wish you the best of luck in making that decision.

Answer 3

Not just because you don't know who the father is, no. Abortion needs to be available as a last resort, but it is important to consider what all your options are before you take that step; it will make all the other options moot.

One possibility is to bear the child and put it up for adoption. This does not need to be with an adoption agency, but that's one way. They will have their own agenda for choosing the adoptive parents, and generally they choose along very conservative lines. Most are run by religious groups. They will choose parents with a stable income, who have good emotional control, reasonable intelligence, reasonably good health, and so on. But they will probably want to keep you and the adoptive parents from knowing anything about one another, so that you cannot later try to be involved in the child's life.

There are also private adoptions. This is especially good if there is a family member or close friend of your family who is interested in adopting the child. They may well be willing to let you be a part of the child's life later on, although as an aunt or a friend, not an extra mother. But there is always the risk that they will change their minds later on, and want to change the agreement. They may even divorce, and expect you to take the child back.

Then there is foster care, if you would like to keep the child but cannot take care of it yourself until you are through school and have a good job, and so forth. This is generally a government agency, and you will deal with bureaucrats. But if you are reasonably sure you would like to take care of the child yourself when you are able, that is another option.

Then, of course, there is raising the child yourself from the beginning. This may work if you have some help from family and friends. Lots of girls, even quite young girls, do keep their babies, especially if the baby's grandparents are willing to help out. This means not only financial help, but babysitting, perhaps even having you and the baby live with them. Even your own grandparents, the baby's great-grandparents, may be interested if they are not too old.

If you want to keep the child but do not have family help, you may be able to get a live-in job as a housekeeper or some such, where you can have the child with you. If you want to do this, start checking it out now, and don't wait until you are so obviously pregnant that the employer assumes you will not be of much help until after the baby is born.

You may want to contact some anti-abortion organizations for assistance. I have heard that they are interested in solutions which may involve housing and financial assistance. There are even boarding schools for pregnant girls, where you can live until after the baby is born, and get an education to help you support the child once you are able. Be aware, however, that these are almost always religious organizations. You will need to be clear on whether they expect you to convert to their religion, or to already be a member. At the very least, it will be an issue to discuss.

Abortion is the last resort, but it is your choice. If you check out all your options, and nothing works, don't try to simply decide on your own. Talk it over with anyone you can. Family, friends, religious counselors, mentors of all kinds, even teachers. Look in the phone book. Check the Internet. Leave no stone unturned in finding out as much as you can about what all your options might be.

The weight of the choice may be heavy, but it must necessarily be yours to make. This might not only be the first big decision you make, but one of the biggest you will ever make.

Answer 4

No one can answer that for you. We don't know you. How pregnant are you? If you aren't very far along then aborting will be easier. But at a certain point the baby inside you will form a brain and start to feel pain.

Knowing who the father is isn't important, child support services should help you with testing if you want to give them a list of possible candidates. If you have absolutely no idea, you might want to consider just raising the baby on your own.

FYI, there is something called birth control, read more about it.

Answer 5

Month One
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.


Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.



Month Three
You know what Mommy, I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.


Month Four
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.


Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?


Month Six
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!


Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?


Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never
see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. Who knows how many doctors, pastors, lawers, military men, musicans, or presidents we have killed by abortions.
Abortion is murder....and just becasue you don't know who the father is. If you tihnk you want an abortion watch this video....It is terrible but if you don't want to watch it you don;t want to see the truth
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Answer 6

This is not a decision you should be asking strangers about. It is something that you have to decide for yourself.

You say that you do not know who the father is which leads me to assume you have multiple "partner" and since you are pregnant . . .no protection. You may want to rethink this. . .there are many things that could come from this and a baby is not the worse.

We all make choices in our lives. . .and those choices come with consequences that we have to deal with. It takes a strong person to stand up and say, "I made a wrong choice, but I am going to do my best to do better now".

Also, sometimes what seems like will be the greatest disaster of our life turns out to be the greatest blessing.

Answer 7

If this is a real question and not just a play toy, then you should go and talk to your parents and a local minister. Make your decision only AFTER you have all the options and facts. But, this could have been avoided if you would have 1. Waited til you were married to have sex, or, 2. Use Birth Control. I would advise getting checked out by a doctor also for any STD. Good Luck.

Answer 8

It really depends.
Do you want the responsibility, the fat body, the diapers, the worry, the crying all night?
Are you an adult, with a good education, and a home who can take care of a Child for 20+ years? (costs over $180,000.)
In that case, you're just a loose woman with of a baby to take care of.
If you are so careless with YOURSELF and have such low morals, what are you going to teach your baby?If you have sex with anyone-and don't take care of yourself-and they don't respect you enough to hang around, then you don't need to be a mother (yet.)
If you are under the age of 18, busy going to school, living at home with your folks and slutting around for entertainment, either abort or give your baby up for adoption. Your family doesn't deserve to be put through this---you being pregnant and giving their grandbaby away.
If you want to keep your baby, know that you will have a hard life ahead of you, people judging you, boys/men avoiding you, baby-sitting problems for 10 years, expenses and more.
Whatever you decide-don't let anyone talk you into anything YOU don't want! This is important.

Answer 9

It's your decision. If you feel like it's best. then yes.

Also if you JUST now found out you were pregnant, go to a doctor and see how far along you are. If it's under 6 weeks dont feel guilty for not wanting a baby. Right now they're just a lump of cells. It could help in stem cell research.

Answer 10

What you SHOULDN'T do is base your decision on answers you recieve in the Religion and Spirituality section. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will give you a few things to ask yourself and think about.

*How old are you?
*Are you in a financial position to raise a child?
*Are you prepared to spend nine months caring for your body to ensure a healthy baby?
*How do you feel about abortion personally?
*Do you have family that could help you if you were to become a single parent?
*How do you feel about adoption?

Think about all these things, and make the decision that is best for you. I will be praying for you!

Answer 11

i wouldn't decide based soley on who the father is.....there are tests for that. more importantly .... are you ready to be a mother. go to planned parenthood and talk to a counsellor there about your different options. i am pro choice and believe you need to consider these things before bringing an unwanted child into this world, but you can still opt to have the child adopted. again, there are trained professionals that can help you sort out your feelings and help you make the right decision for you. good luck.