What exactly is Parental Alienation???

Question

If a mother teaches her 2 year old to call her husband (not the father) Daddy , but the real father sees his child on a regular basis, pays child support, 1/2 medical bills, etc (standard custody agreement) would this be a form of trying to alienate the child from the father?

Answer 1

Here is the definition of Parental Alienation:

Parental alienation is any behavior by a parent, a child's mother or father, whether conscious or unconscious, that could create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent. Parental alienation can be mild and temporary or extreme and ongoing. Most researchers believe that any alienation of a child against (the child's) other parent is harmful to the child and to the target parent. Extreme, obsessive, and ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood. Parental Alienation focuses on the alienating parents behaviour as opposed to the alienated parent's and alienated children's conditions

Forms of parental alienation include:-
brainwashing,
character assassination
the false inducement of fear
incitement of shame,
using children to commit relational aggression against the target parent,
loss of self control,
flareups of anger,
unconscious alliances with the children against the target parent.
delibrate denigration of the children's relationship with the target parent.
Parental alienation can all be mild, moderate, or extreme. Parental alienation often forces children to choose sides and become allies against the other parent. Children caught in the middle of such conflicts suffer severe losses of love, respect and peace during their formative years. They also often lose their alienated parent forever. These consequences and a host of others cause terrible traumas to children.


I think if you are just introducing another person in your childs life as Daddy and that this biological Daddy is not in any way considered not his Dad. Then I don't think you are creating any parental alienation. Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you read the definition below, it indicates an intentional pattern of trying to create a barrier in the relationship between the parent and child. It is not possible to tell based on your question whethere this is the case or not but it does not appear to be your intention. I personally think that you are creating confusing situation for a child of 2 by calling the step father Daddy. I would choose an affectionate that can be differentiated from Daddy. For instance, your husband could be Poppa or Poppy. In this way the child can know that they have a special but different relationship with both men. As they get old enough to understand the difference it can be explained in such a way as to value the contribution of both men. As a step father I wish you all the best as you are raising your family. It can be challenging but if it is done with love I think it can work out fine.

Parental alienation is a group of behaviours that interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. Most often accompanying high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprives children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. These selfish, vindictive and malicious actions by the alienating parent (the parent who is responsible for the manipulations and bullying) is considered a form of child abuse - as the alienating tactics used on the children are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, and rob children of their sense of security and safety.

Most people do not know about Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting until they experience it. Parental Alienation Awareness is put forth to help raise awareness about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse seen mostly in cases of divorce or separation.

Answer 3

Well, I don't think it counts as parental alienation. However, I don't agree with it. It's fine if the child is old enough to decide to call his step-dad "dad. But if the biological father is involved and playing an active role in the child's life, then it's not fair to the biological father nor the child to teach him to call someone else "dad". The mom needs to put herself in the biological father's shoes. She probably wouldn't like it if her child called someone else mom. I know I wouldn't.

Answer 4

The mother would also have to attempt to keep the child away from the father and cut off communication.

Answer 5

My mom married my step father when I was really little (2, I think), and I called him by his first name until their kid started calling him by his first name, too; then he asked my older sister and me to call him Daddy as an example for her. I didn't care growing up, but I think my "real" dad wasn't entirely comfortable with it. I always called my step mom by her first name and I like that. Now that I'm grown up, I don't know what to call my step dad. I don't think there's anything wrong with having two people called by some form of Dad, though.

Answer 6

Hi My ex was diagnosed with BPD and made me look like the bad person. She called the cops on me and made up emails by copying and printing off emails that look real. I know have my kids full time as she said she was going to kill herself and the kids. It took 5 years but now I have them. With BPD they make you look like the bad person. I never say anything bad about their mom and my son is opening up on his own accord telling me he was brainwashed and said he was sorry he was scared of me because he could not get a better dad. My to kids ended up in foster care because he was so scared. My daughter hits me bites me swears at me, kicks me breaks things. She is 7 and she seems more fooled up then my son. I think my son was brainwashed quicker because he was older but came out of it quicker.

My ex would not even give me my son's ice hockey gear and told a 10 and 7 year old to get jobs. She is not child focused at all. I have not spoke to her in 9 months. I let Lawyers and Child services deal with her. I just want to be a dad and I missed out on so many years.

Good luck.