What should I do with guests in between the ceremony and reception?

Question

My fiance's family (and some of mine) will be coming in from out-of-town and are staying at a hotel. Other members of my family live in the area, but not close to the church. Our ceremony is at 1:30 and our reception won't start until 5 or 6, so there will be a good 2-3 hours in between. My mother insists that we need to figure something out for the guests to do while we're taking photos, but we're limited on options. We cannot have a gathering at our home because it's too small, and we don't have the option of another relative's house. My mother suggested we book an extra hour onto the reception, but it's very expensive and most of the sites can't add an hour to the beginning because of set-up.

I keep telling my mother that people aren't surprised when there is time in between, but she insists we can't do that. What should we do? The reception will be close to the hotel of the out-of-towners.

It's a Catholic wedding, so the latest we can have the ceremony is at 1:30. Believe me, if it were that easy then that would have been my first step!

The earliest that the reception site will start the cocktail hour is 5pm, because they have an early afternoon brunch that is before us, and they have to change everything over. Cocktails at the church is not an option, because 1) there is Mass at 4:30 and 2) church is not the place for a cocktail hour; that's both disrespectful to the church and to the guests who will likely feel awkward about drinking and socializing in a place of worship. Refreshments at the hotel would be a better option.

Answer 1

we ( parents of the bride) will have a hospitality suite at the hotel for 2 hours beteween the time of the ceremony ( 12 noon) and reception.( 5pm) Our hotel will shuttle our guests from hotel to church, back to hotel and then to reception.
At hospitality suite, we will offer cheese, crackers, fruit, cold non-alc. beverages for the out of towners.

Answer 2

Yes, people are most definitely surprised when there's time in between. Honestly, I had never heard of such a thing until this past year, when I started doing research for my daughter's wedding. It's very inconsiderate of you to ask them to be in two different places at two different times. If I were one of your invited guests, I would come to one or the other, but not both.

Is there no way you can push the ceremony timing so that you're done just before the reception? I can understand that it's too expensive to add time to the reception, but it seems like it would be reasonable to squeeze them together.

I hope to heck you won't be spending 2 - 3 hours on photos! Generally, this takes less than an hour, and the courteous thing to do is allow your guests to start up the reception while you're busy...Then they'll all be there when you come in and are announced.

Even if you do find something for them to do in between times, you're either going to run into additional costs, or put your guests in a spot where they have to spend money on it themselves.

Edit:
The more I think about this, the more it's bugging me! I am seriously shocked that you would even consider this. I have >never< been to a wedding where there was a gap between events. And very, very seriously, if I were invited, I would very, very seriously, only go to one of the events. I hate to sound like such a crab, but this is inconsiderate, and extremely inconvenient for your guests.

Is it possible to pull the whole event in? Perhaps have the ceremony at 10:30, and have a luncheon reception?

Answer 3

I am getting married June 30th, and have a lot of out of town guests who will be arriving the day before the ceremony. I'm getting married at 4pm with the reception beginning right after the ceremony, so I'm not quite in the same boat as you. However, I am putting together a little 'guide' for the out of town guests that has a city map and also some places of interest such as movie theaters, golf courses, mini golf, waterslides, bowling, shopping centers, etc. on it so that guests can occupy their time up until the ceremony at 4pm. Then people can decide on their own what they would like to do, whether it be to take the guide out and go and do something, or they can just hang out at the hotel. Personally, I think something like this would work best, then you're not forcing the guests to do something they may not like. Best wishes!!

Answer 4

Simply because you have out of town guests, it is really your responsibly to provide entertainment to them between the ceremony and the reception. Cocktail hour is the perfect thing for this....BUT you reception start time it too far our for that, so I would go with the above suggestion, cocktail hour or two at the hotel. If you have reserved a block of rooms for your guests then I'm sure you are already familiar with someone in the hotel, speak to them and see what they can arrange. You will need to include this either in the itinerary for your guests, or the programs, that way they know where to head after the ceremony. ALSO, it used to be a big no no to head over to your own cocktail hour, but nowadays couples are opting to join their friends and family for the last half or so, and leave to reenter and be announced MR. and MRS.
Good luck to you, whatever you do...plan something for them...even a Frisbee and a park bench is better then leaving them hanging.

CONGRATS ON THE IMPENDING NUPTIALS!!

Answer 5

Is there a specific reason why you are having the reception that much later? Is it because of the time the venue was available? If not then can you move the reception up to 3:00. I think most guests would prefer an earlier reception rather than having to find something to occupy their time until it starts. Is it possible to have cocktails at the church or a nearby hotel or bar?

Answer 6

Wouldn't it be easier to move the wedding to later in the afternoon? It is a bit of a stretch between the ceremony and the reception, but it's not impossible. Maybe you could have light refreshments served at the hotel where your out-of-town guests are staying after the wedding. Nothing heavy, nothing elaborate -- just maybe a cheese tray, a fruit tray and some soft drinks (save the alcohol for the reception, if you are serving any).

Answer 7

You do NOT have to plan anything, people are totally used to this. Your ceremony time is fine, and with cocktails starting at 5:00, this timeline is good. People go shopping, take their kids somewhere for a while, go back to their hotels to have a nap or just a rest, see the city.... etc.
This is not something you have to worry about at all, nor plan anything for. We actually enjoy having the time between the ceremony and reception!

Answer 8

I'd suggest that the guests go to the visitor's hotel.
Talk to the hotel & negotiate some kind of deal;
point out they are getting these extra guests of yours.
They could possibly set up some light refreshments.

You don't want them getting loaded in the bar;
maybe some fruit punch, or iced tea, for instance.
But maybe the hotel can put out some nibbles too.
The visitors can freshen up in their rooms of course.

Answer 9

That's a pretty big gap in time! I would say you need to have something planned, otherwise they may not want to come back to the reception.

Can you make the wedding a little bit later in the day? Maybe have as many pictures as you can taken before the wedding, only the ones together aftewards.

Answer 10

Can you have some finger food somewhere in the church for a bit after the ceremony? It's common on this forum for everyone to be very 'everyone expects a few hours in between'. Personally, I hate having to wait more than 1 1/2-2 hrs between them.