My fiancé and I are getting married next month and are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. Unfortunately, this means that we are on a very tight budget. Last week, we received two RSVPs from distant relatives, who we’ve only seen once in the last six years. The invitations were clearly addressed to the couple (Mr. and Mrs. XYZ), however, they RSVP’ed for the entire family. This is a problem because we cannot afford to have the entire family, so grinning and bearing it is not an option. How do we politely tell them that we are on a tight budget and have therefore only invited them and not the entire family? Is it better to call them or write them a letter? How should we word it?
2007-06-21 07:47:43 · 21 answers · asked by Jenn1e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Call them and tell them exactly that. We are paying for this ourselves and on a very tight budget. We unfortunately cannot afford to have the entire family come. Let them know that you wish the circumstance are different, that you would love to invite everyone, however this isn't the case.
If they chose not to come because the whole family can't, then let them know you understand. If they get upset, let them know your hands are tied and you really do wish you could accommodate them all. However, you don't want to start a marriage in debt. If they are reasonable people they will understand since your not "close" family. If they don't, well it's not like you see them all that often!
Good luck!
2007-06-21 07:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would give them a call. If the entire family means there are children or teens under the age of 18 or 21, I would tell them it is an adult only reception. The catch will be if other guests bring their kids, you'd have some explaining to do.
Or you could just call and tell them exactly what you told us. You are working on a very tight budget and can only allot for two people to attend per invite, Mr/Mrs XYZ and Mrs/Mr XYZ. I know its a hard thing to do, but to preserve your sanity AND your budget, you must speak up.
2007-06-21 07:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by msvlyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, this same situation happened to my Aunt. She was invited to a wedding and she thought her daughters were invited when only her husband and her were invited. Luckily someone just told them that only her and her husband could come and she was fine with it. (actually she was a little embarrassed for assuming) So just call your family up and be honest. Tell them that you meant for the invitation to only be addressed to the two of them because your on a budget and no matter how much u would like the rest of the family to come, you just can't afford it. I am positive that they will be understanding if you put it in those words. Just make sure they know that you care and wish they all could come. Good luck!
2007-06-21 09:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by dogtreats100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just call them and tell them that you are very sorry that they misunderstood. Just say exactly that - that you are on a tight budget and would love for them to come, and you are very sorry that that wasn't clear to them. (yes, it makes it sound like it might be your fault, which it isn't clearly, but at this point you want to try to make this "all ok").
And by family - do you mean kids? If so, you could (if it is true) explain that this isn't a "family" event but adults only. That you just can't accomodate children (except, of course, for any kids that are in the wedding).
If they are travelling from out of town and have to bring the kids you could offer to help them find a local babysitter that could come and watch the children for them while they are at the wedding. They will likely decline, but again, it makes it look like you care. And chances are they may not come at all.
If you are having other kids there, then it will be harder to explain why some are there and some are not. I'm not sure how you'll handle that.
2007-06-21 07:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
That's how we did it and people will do what they want. I sent invites to Mr. & Mrs. Smith and they RSVPed for them and their three kids (I didn't want a lot of kids at my wedding). Other's didn't RSVP at all and showed up, others RSVPed and didn't show. And I spent my hard earned money to put a stamp on the return envelope so when I called to check with people they always gave me the "but you know I was gonna come". Uh, no I didn't- that's what the card is for!
If it gets to be a problem, call them up and explain that your budget is tight and you'd love for the whole family to come, but yyou just don't have the space or the funds. Best of luck to you.
2007-06-21 08:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should call them and deal with it head on. If you are not comfortable doing it, perhaps a close friend in your wedding party can do it. I would not mention the budget because the family may offer to chip in for the members who weren't invited. Then, other guests who know their etiquette may feel slighted when they make arrangements for a sitter only to find out that that whole family shows up.
2007-06-21 07:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes ! Aren't you flattered that they all want to come.
I used to get stressed out about things like this. Chances are they will not all come anyway. Of course this is a real problem if you have left off the list others who are even closer to you.
I would write a letter.............that way it is clear and thoughtful.
Address the letter, not to them specifically, but as if you have had to send out several of these letters to clarify the situation.
Apologize that the budget had to control the number of invites, and that only the people who are invited are those whose names were on the invitation............if they call as if they are the exception to the rule then they are being rude and egotistical........then I would uninvited all of them.
2007-06-21 08:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call them and tell them that it wasn't meant for the kids to and you are sorry if there was a misunderstanding and that you are on a tight budget. If they offer to pay for the kids food then fine, but if they dont just tell them the kids are not invited. (I am having the problem too, but thankfully I'm just having a buffet, and some people could not come.) It sucks and it's rude.....we've got people bringing unvited kids and dates...but because we didnt do plated meals we just turn the other cheek and say "whatever."
2007-06-21 08:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must call and explain this to them as soon as possible stating to them exactly what you've said here. I'm sorry but the invitation was for the two of you and not the entire family. Sorry for the misunderstanding but our budget only allows for you. They may or may not like it but it is what it is. Hold firm.
2007-06-21 08:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling is much better than sending an email. This way you know for certain the message was clear. If you send an email, they could say they didn't get it. You must call though and be honest. It's your wedding and you invite who you can afford to invite. If they don't like it they won't come.
2007-06-21 08:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by geistswoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋