My ex of 7 years has emailed after 3 months of me breaking up with him. He is in Iraq and he hurt me badly and he was not unfaithful. However he keeps emailing me and I have told him a million times friendship is not what I want from him. I want more. Anyway he emailed me from Iraq saying he has grown up and wants to talk things through. I took this as he wants to sort things out. I explained how I felt yet he emailed me back saying how horrible it is out there. That I understand and I truly would love to support him but I dont want to be just friends. I asked him to tell me how he feels but he avoids telling yet he emails me and tells me he thinks about me every day. Am I fooling myself here or is he genuine as he wont stop contacting me but all he says is he wants to sit down and talk things through. Why cant he just tell me how he feels? Does he really want me back? I dedicated a message to him and he loved it. I am supportive what is going on here!!!!
2007-06-21 05:39:34 · 10 answers · asked by Grace 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think that you are fooling yourself, but be careful. Guard your heart. I think he loves you, but honestly wants to talk it through. He has had a lot of time to think things through. You have stated your case, that friendship is not what you are after....so live your life and talk to him when he returns. But really do get on with your life - no waiting around.
I went through something similar,although he wasn't at war thank god. We had dated seriously for a few years then broken up and he was away in the army and engaged to someone else. I was struck by the similarity - I also got letters saying that he wanted to talk and that he thought about me often and wondered how I was - he maintained contact. We were "friends" but I was still heartbroken. I was also trying to figure out "what the hell does he want?!" It was very confusing. He did come back on leave and told me he still loved me - while remaining engaged to the other girl. I had started seeing someone else and decided to go in that direction because of the other woman involved. I am not a thief. Sometimes I regret that, but I think I made the right choice in the end. He couldn't say what he wanted and hedged his bet.
The thing is - Your man needs to be clear about what he is saying and what he wants. That is basically the lesson I learned. He needs to be clear. Keeping you guessing is not helpful. As he wants to say what ever it is in person, wait to talk to him, but live your life in the meantime.
2007-06-21 08:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is going through is very tramatic. And spite of it all he thinks about you. He says everything is bad and yet he thinks of you. B/c he misses and you are the one that he wants to have a shoulder to lean on. Dont avoid him b/c if anything were to go wrong you would regret not being there for him. Just talk to him and time will tell you if he has grown up. What is in the past let it stay there. Be a friend b/c you can not even imagine what he is going through. And it goes to show that he still thinks about you and going home to you. So let things be for the moment. Dont talk about your relationship or your future together. Just live in the moment and support him like you say you are. And if God allows him to come back then you both need to decide what you guys want out of this realtionship. So be there for him and be afriend and not the mean ex-girlfriend. What I mean is that dont start to question or figure out what you want by making things clear about your realtionship. Who knows maybe he will open up sooner or later. I would be happy to know that someone thinks about me and after all where there are ashes,the fire is still there. You can not forget being with someone for 7 years.........
2007-06-21 05:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Miss Lis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldnt stress him out more than he is in IRAQ!! he dosent want a relationship because u guys are FAR APART!! maybe he scared!! what about if something happens to him (GOD FORBID) but he dosent want u to suffer
He wants u to be happy so keep him cheered up & positive!! Dont bring anything up that has to do with being together!! when he comes back from IRAQ then it will be a different story!! & about him cheating just forget about the past maybe he has come to realize all the bad his done to you & he dosent want to hurt you anymore!! FORGET ABOUT THE PAST & JUST BE THERE FOR HIM!! at least you can always say "I was there when someone really needed me"
thats cool!! stay nice & keep emailing him happy stuff!!! & u keep living ur life!! If its meant to be, it will find its way!!!
2007-06-21 05:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by HIZPANICBABE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could be confused...
1. If he said he wants to sort things out? Did he say it's about you&him or sort things out about what you're offering him?
2. 7 years is no joke and so is being in Iraq. Keep in touch with him...being in that kind of place could keep you thinking so definitely he misses you.
3. I'm not sure why he doesn't write his feelings, good or bad but it's either:
3a: He's holding it back to say it in better ways than email
3b: Depends on what you have written him, he could have been taken aback and scared him...
3c: Maybe he's coming home.. and he's not hinting anything until he returns
2007-06-21 06:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by Empress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like being out in Iraq has made him grow up and face the real world. Not sure if he wants you back. Sounds promising that he is thinking of you every day though. I think he sounds very confused and scared.
i assume he is in the Army?
I would try and support him at this time and who knows what may happen when he returns.
I wish you luck.
2007-06-21 05:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be lonely or longing for home and he may be using you as a crutch while he is away. Try your best to be his friend and be supportive like you are doing now and maybe wait until he gets back to discuss getting more serious. Why would you want him back anyway after he cheated on you?
2007-06-21 05:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When one is engaged in combat one processes information quite differently than one does in the safety of a secure environment. He's likely to be overly sensitive to bad news and remarkably single-minded....understandable since his primary concern is surviving this event. Try waiting to have heavy relationship discussions for times when he's on leave or after his deployment has ended for good.
2007-06-21 05:47:31 · answer #7 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so this may be harsh but he may just be feeling really horrible about being out there and you're available for him to turn to. However it can be in those sorts of times you realise how much people mean to you and maybe he's realised but doesn't want to say anything via email.
If you want him back then see what he has to say without demanding answers, it may be what you want but then again it may just be for now.
Be careful, and as a friend said to me recently, guard your heart.
2007-06-21 05:45:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think he is going through a lonely time where he is and prob needs to be supported but is this what you want i think just try and point out again how you feel its not really fair on you
2007-06-21 07:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by kate robo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you but he won't admit it.
2007-06-21 05:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋