My 9 year old daughter has a very unstable relationship with her Dad since she was 1 years old. He comes around when he wants, doesnt pay child support, doesnt help with anything. In the last year, his brother died in a car wreck and about 2 months later he got his deceased brothers wife pregnant. She already had a 8month old from the deceased brother. Neither my daughters father or his girlfriend (my daughters aunt) work... they stay at home and sell pot to pay the bills. So now my daugher has a new half sister (that is also her cousin by marriage) and her Dad runs a major grow operation. I know my daughter really loves her Dad and she is always asking about seeing him. She hasnt seen him in almost a year, since I told him she couldnt go to his house on the weekends (cause of the pot). I've offered to let him come over to our house or meet at the park, but he wont. My daughter cries her self to sleep at night over her dad, I dont want to keep her from her dad... what do I do?
2007-06-21 05:27:40 · 12 answers · asked by Cbauer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Right now you are doing the right thing. Your daughter should not be exposed to drug use, plus who knows what kind of people are in and out of her father's home. I also don't think it would be a good idea for her father to take her out on his own as he clearly has a major lack of judgment.
If you get along with your ex's family members (who are stable and can be trusted) then maybe make an arrangement for you to drop your daughter off at their homes to see her father. Maybe your daughter's father will feel more comfortable with that situation and not having to see you.
2007-06-21 07:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing already. If he has no job and makes no attempt to come and see her then there's really not much hope. It doesn't sound like it's a priority for him. You've made the right decision by keeping her away from the drug house. Don't give up and let her go there just to try and force a relationship that it doesn't sound like he is that interested in.
This guy sounds like a real loser and would be a very poor influence on your daughter. i know it's tough but she's better off without him. Is there someone else in your life that could help out in a fatherly type role like a relative, grandfather or someone like that? Having a male figure in her life may ease the pain. Hang in there you're doing the right thing.
2007-06-21 05:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by RED FIVE O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a rut, kiddo, and you have to get out of there. These are not good people with whom to associate. I would advise you to move to another city and start a new life for yourself without telling any of these people where you are going. You must take your daughter with you, and it is going to be hard on her without a daddy, but the daddy she has is worthless and she needs a new one. She needs a good daddy. It is your job to find this man and provide your daughter with a decent role model and father that she can love. Think about this. Is it not good advice? I don't see you or your daughter doing anything except sink further into the mire of the wretchedness you have portrayed unless you make a clean break and get out of there. I wish you luck. You and your daughter both. Tell us what you decide to do and we will help you if we can.
2007-06-21 06:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like your daughters dad needs alot of help. The only thing that I can think of is maybe you can go with your daughter to her fathers house or go together to the mall or movies, this might be painful for you but at least you can watch your daughter.
2007-06-21 05:41:41 · answer #4 · answered by paul s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the show "RESCUE ME". Stand firm with your decision. He doesn't sound like a father at all. Until He grows up and takes responsibilities for himself, keep her away from him. It's better not to have a prison bound father in your Daughters life.
2007-06-21 05:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to run and run as fast as you can AWAY from all of them, and no your child doesn't need to be anywhere around him, the girlfriend/aunt or nothing, yeah it may seem harsh and as a mom it hurts to see your child hurt but i'd rather her hate you for being a good parent than her turn out anything like her father, clearly he has no respect for his daughter, there are no if and or buts about it, quit giving him options, its clear that he isn't man enough to take Care of his child, and parenting isn't a part-time job..except the situation for what it is then move on....
2007-06-21 05:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by camryn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boy, talk about some all in the family loving, lol. Unfortunately there is nothin you can do. You cant force him to see her and its really sad that he refuses to see his own flesh and blood. Find your daughter a new father figure is my suggestion.
2007-06-21 05:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's not a lot you can do; he's got to want to see his child and make the effort himself. Just keep the door figuratively open to him (where safety and good sense allow) and support her in her quest to grow into a healthy, well-adjusted young lady. Good luck to you.
2007-06-21 05:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her & tell her what kind of a dad he is, & i don't think if it a good idea for herto see her dad cause you never know
i meant it a unsafe place & don't good for kids all don't let him come over or visit him you & your daughter should stay away from him
2007-06-21 05:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her dad sounds like a awful person.Explain to your daughter,that it is best that she should not cry about her dad.He is not responsible and she does not need him in her life.He is a deadbeat dad.He will need her oneday,and I hope she tells him to bug off.
2007-06-21 05:39:39 · answer #10 · answered by Brigid O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋