Is it OK for a woman or man, to be with someone
they love so much. Even if they are being abused
physically, and emotionally. Even if they think that
they can help this person, who is almost a lost
cause. Meaning if this person is beyond repair....
Best answer wins.
2007-06-21 04:24:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cars & Transportation ➔ Car Makes ➔ Ford
Woops wrong category..... He, he.
2007-06-21 04:33:06 · update #1
When you love someone very much, I understand that it could be hard to think about leaving them. However, in an abusive relationship, how much could the abusive person (abuser?) possibly love the abused? Some people may be afraid to leave an abusive relationship because of the consequences that may follow (ie. the abusive partner becomes even more outraged). In this case, one must admit that the relationship is not healthy or happy for them, and they need to tell someone else. The more people that know, the better off they will be. All in all, there is no reason for someone to stay in an abusive relationship, no matter how much he/she may love the person; there are too many other good people out there capable of more love.
2007-06-21 04:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've seen a lot of that over the years. Been involved with it too, in my family. Love is a goofy thing. You don't know why you love someone or why you stay with them.
I think that it is because you are in a routine and humans are a creature of habit. We like things that are known and comfortable to us.
Get out of this relationship now. Don't wait. There are agencys that will help you. No matter what you do, this person will keep taking his problems out on you. If he fails, then let him hit rock bottom. Maybe that is what he needs to see the light and get back on the right track. Just don't count on it happening.
If it is only you, (hopefully there are no children) then just have a friend help you move your stuff out one day. If you have family close, get them to help also. Maybe you can move back home for a month or so, until you can get on your feet.
If this guy threatens you, call the police and file a restraining order against him.
I've seen what can happen and been through it. Seriously, get out just as soon as you can. Don't look for reasons why you can't do it, look at the ways that you can do it.
Good luck.
PS. If you have no other place to go, contact a clergyman and ask them for help.
2007-06-21 13:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by Fordman 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've done it.....took me two years from the point at which I knew I needed to to get out to the point at which I did...You can't change someone....ever.... and to be honest when you're in an abusive relationship you're getting some pay off from it too, however subconcious it may be...it's giving you something that you think you need.... You need to question what that is and then realise the root of it....
it's easy to see a side of someone when you first meet them and fall in love with the idea of them and stay in love with that idea when the reality is totally different.....
getting out is the hardest thing but realising that the only thing that will change it is you not being there anymore is half the battle....
Just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out....
2007-06-21 11:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by piscesgroove 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
abuse is Not something any one needs in their life you could just be dependent om this person for one reason or another . find a couples or marriage counsellor and try working it out but you need to be Honest tell he/she how you feel how the actions make you feel use I language don't point the finger and say you do this to me after all you are responsible for your own emotions but constant put downs and verbal abuse can wear on any one. if non of this works your best bet is to chalk it all up to experience learn from mistakes made and pack your bags and leave.
2007-06-21 11:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by ransom53 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not OK. How can anyone 'love' someone who abuses them? This is not love. It is something akin to Stockholm Syndrome, where hostages empathise with their captors, and think they, and maybe only they, can help them.
A damaged person cannot heal themselves when they are in a relationship that damages other people. Only once they have come to terms with their problems, and learned to heal themselves can they relate to someone else in a non-abusive way. You need to give them the space to do it.
2007-06-21 11:36:41 · answer #5 · answered by proud walker 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
been there done that- you might like to think that you can change him/her but it will never happen-if they are to change at all its professional help they need. all that happens is the abusive partner will suck every inch from you until you are an empty shell-the trauma will stay with you for a very long time-the abusive partner feeds off you and your weaknesses you are doing neither of you any favours if you stay together
2007-06-21 11:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by buggerlugs 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind and don't look back. This isn't love. It's about control. Please don't hang around for more of the same - the abuser wil never change. You are worth a lot more.
2007-06-21 11:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by A suitable girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
open the door, walk out and never look back or chuck them out.
don't ever retaliate as the abuser could also turn this on you.
you can not afford to be a victim. EVER.
2007-06-21 11:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change an abusive person. This isn't love. He has made you dependent on him. You have to leave or it will get worse. He could kill you. Get out now and don't look back.
2007-06-21 11:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
just say buy and call the cops. get a restraining order as well.
just waive your hand in the happiness this will lead you to. i don't know how people become abusive but unless your a professional you don't need to be in sight.
2007-06-21 11:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Big Head 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋