Is it wrong for us to adopt?

Question

My husband and I have two biological children, aged 3 and 5. We are able to concieve, but have chosen to adopt our 3rd child. We have recieved a few comments off people that since we are able to concieve, we shouldn't be adopting (think of how it would feel knowing it is the only adopted child? Shouldn't you allow those who cannot conceive to have this child?) those sorts of comments.

How do you all feel about this?

Answer 1

Its not wrong to adopt a child..... i think you help them with their problems.... one they lack of LOVE.... two, they really need some shelter for them.... three, they also need food to eat so that they can grow... fourth, they need parents who can help them, LOVE them, teach them what's right and wrong, teach them how to talk, write, sing and dance.....

Aside that you help them in their needs.... they can also give you pleasure for having them.... You are a good parents because you think for the good of the child.....

if your intentions are good you would not be conscious about what others might say.... You are a good person... Thank you for helping them.... PLEASE LET ADOPT A CHILD, so that he/she can have a better future.... God bless...

Answer 2

Wow, I've been right where you are. My husband and I had a healthy beautiful daughter and a healthy beautiful son. Both were biological and we had no trouble getting pregnant or during the pregnancy.

We decided we wanted a 3rd child. We looked at our options and decided that we wanted to adopt this time. Adoption was something I had always wanted to do since I had been single and my husband's heart had softened to the idea as well.

However, when we told each of our families about it, you should have seen the looks on their faces!

I'll cut to the present time since we IGNORED all their rude comments and stupid remarks. We adopted a 3 year old little boy from Guatemala. He has been with us for almost a year now and I can't imagine our family without him. My bio kids have literally THANKED me for their little brother. Instead of US being a blessing to HIM.....HE has been the blessing to US. He fits in perfectly and to be honest, sometimes I FORGET that he isn't biological. It seems that he has been here since he was born.

As for the people that think you should let the children be adopted by those who cannot conceive........believe me.....there will ALWAYS be children that need a loving mommy and daddy and a safe home. I don't think there will EVER be a day when a prospective parent calls an adoption agency and the agency says "You know what, there are NO KIDS in the world that need a family right now."

Only YOU and YOUR HUSBAND know in your heart what child will fit in your family. It may be a baby, it may be an older child...a girl, a boy....a child from the United States, or an international child. YOU GUYS are going to be the parents for the rest of the child's life......who cares what everyone else thinks.

As for my family. They have spoiled my son rotten. And are ashamed of the way they acted when we first told them we wanted to adopt. They STILL apologize.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

No! It is not wrong for you to adopt. There are many more waiting children in this country, and in others, than there are people in line to adopt! You are not "taking a child" from someone who can not have one.

We have two biological children and a third on the way. We intend to adopt one, possibly two, child(ren) from China. And we have not ruled out having another biological child either.

The people who are making these sorts of comments to you are ignorant of how many children there are that need homes and how relative few families are willing to take them in. Perhaps during your own adoption quest, you could "educate" them. You never know, they might end up adopting also!

I think it is a wonderful thing that you want to adopt. And if you DO have concerns about the child being the only one adopted, you could possibly adopt a sibling group or a second child later. But, I think that as long as a child is loved s/he will not mind being the only one adopted. Love is the most important thing.

Answer 4

Well I have two children ages 4 and 16 month and although I could have more biologically, we too have decided to adopt. there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. As for those friends. There are thousands upon thousands of kids that need to be adopted, there are not enough people who cannot conceive in this world to adopt them all. I think what your are doing is wonderful. That child will be just as much apart of your family as your other two. Ever child deserves a home , and you are by choice willing to give that to them, even though you don't have too. Now that true love!!!! Don't get discouraged, Sometimes I think people tend to get jealous, when you do something that their not willing to do.

Answer 5

I think those comments are totally ridiculous and it never even would have occurred to me to think it could be "wrong" to adopt. You are absolutely not depriving someone else of being able to adopt. Unfortunately there are a lot of unwanted children in this world who very much need homes with loving parents who want them. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never been to an orphanage and they also have no idea what it means to want a child or have a child. Children in this world need homes and parents. It is wonderful beyond measure to take an already living child as your own and not add another human being to our already very overcrowded world just so you can have someone new in your life to love. It would be a totally different and far better world if most people considered adoption before they had a biological child.

Answer 6

I come from a large mixed family. Me and one of my brothers belongs to my dad. Another brother belongs to my step mom. We adopted one boy. And have two brothers living with us that will most likely be adopted in the next two years. So in response to the "think of how it would feel knowing it is the only adopted child" it doesn't matter how you got there, your family is your family. When people ask me, I say I have 5 brothers, not one step brother, one real brother...and so on. I love them all, we are a family end of story.

In response to the "Shouldn't you allow those who cannot conceive to have the child" there are SOOO many children in foster care it is ridiculous. More people should be like you. If only the people who couldn't concieve took in these children imagine how many more there would be in foster care.

As long as you can support the child and give it all the love and care you give your biological children, i think this is a great idea. It is also a great lesson for your children to help other who are in need. Bottom line, if that child needs a home and you can give it a good one, people are crazy to complain about it.

Good Luck! Way to GO!

Answer 7

Its perfectly fine. I could more understand if say there were only 10 children/babies left that needed to be adopted. This however is not the case there is no shortage of children that need to be adopted. I think it’s great if a couple/person chooses to have a mix of adopted and natural kids. I applauded you and your husband for deciding to give a loving home to a child that needs one.

Also I’m 1 of 4, and the only adopted one. I have never had any problems over being the only one adopted.

Answer 8

I don't think it is wrong for you to adopt at all! There are kids out there who have no parents at all! In the long run I think it would be A LOT happier being the only adopted child than being an orphan!!! Kids need love, and if you have the love to give it is selfish not to adopt. The people who sent you those comments are crazy. Just because you didn't give birth to the child doesn't men they are not yours. My mother was adopted, and not sorry for a minute. She is perfectly happy with the parents she got. She is 100% glad that she was adopted. She is a happy healthy woman, and I don't see my grandmother any differently because we are not "blood related". As long as you love the child, they ae truly yours!

Good luck!!!

Answer 9

There are so many children in this world that need a loving home. If you want to have another child and you choose to adopt, I feel that is a very selfless thing to do. Many people adopt when they can't have thier own children, which is wonderful. It is just as wonderful when you know you can have a child, but choose to love a child that is not biologically yours. Providing a home to a child in need instead of giving birth to one should never be looked at as wrong. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

Whether you can conceive or not has nothing to do with whether you should or shouldn't adopt. By adopting, you are giving a child your love and there is not greater gift than that. There are millions of children out there waiting to be adopted so there is honestly no shortage for those who cannot conceive. Do what your hearts says feels right. If you have love to share, then share it. That child will never have any reason to feel different from your biological children as long as you raise that child and your other children to know they are all loved and wanted as much as the other. I am adopted, have another adopted brother and then my parents had my youngest brother. It will be fine. Trust me.

Answer 11

That's called ignorance my dear. Why in the world would there be anything wrong with adopting a child? But these kinds of comments usually come from grandparents and other family members who are afraid that they won't be able to love that child just like your bio ones. We have close friends that had 4 children and just adopted three and I can assure you that if you saw how well it has worked for them, it would put your mind at ease. They are all in love with each other and there are 3 less orphans in the world. We have 3 children, and one on the way and are looking into adoption too! Most people don't know what to say, so they gotta say something. Don't be afraid to do what most people can't imagine doing(I know cause honestly I thought I couldn't do it myself until seeing others that I know do it so well). Blessing to you and your family! www.myspace.com/allison729