My daughter does not wish to be married in a church. The place she wants costs 2.5X more than my husband and I can spend and she is so upset that she won't talk to us. There are guest list minimums, so we can't just have a smaller wedding in the same facility. How can we find a good compromise? There is a nice place here in town where we could give a lovely wedding/reception in one building (I've done the math) but she won't even look at it. She is not able to financialy contribute to the wedding in a significant amount and I have strict budget limits right now. I want her to have a wonderful day and happy memories but I don't know what else to do. What have other families done to resolve a situation like this? Our weather is pretty unpredictable so I really want her to choose someplace with a roof and A/C (I was married in June and it was 95 degrees with no A/C - not pleasant). Thanks for your help!
2007-06-21 04:16:43 · 10 answers · asked by Moira 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You could have some fun with it and try to pick someplace interesting in the Dells.
But realistically, if you're paying for the wedding, she needs to get on YOUR page, not the other way around.
2007-06-21 04:23:59 · answer #1 · answered by jargent100 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wisconsin is a pretty large place, but I love the Domes in Milwaukee or some of the resorts near Lake Geneva where there is an outdoor location and a conveniently located rain location inside the hotel. Totally understand the weather issue - I've been to an outdoor wedding north of Madison where all it did was rain... ushers passing out garbage bags to sit on is just not elegant.
Tell her the truth - she's being a spoiled brat. She can't afford it - you can't afford that place. If she really wants to be married there, she's going to have to wait a couple years until she can pay for that place. My mom called me to task once when we were planning... hated it at the time, but it needed to be done. Plus... I WAS contributing significantly to the cost of the wedding.
Meantime, look at some of your local hotels, and look at Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. Some of their packages are rather affordable (more so than you'd realize), and often offer discounts for non-Saturday evening weddings. Ask her what it is about the location that she loves, and you may be able to find a compromise within an hour of home.
Good luck - keep reminding her that she really needs to put more focus on the MARRIAGE than the wedding, and it is not worth starting out with a bunch of debt because of one party.
2007-06-21 04:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
We are getting married and live in WI, and have a very strict budget. Niether of our parents our helping us with it. Tell her to look at restaurants with halls, some of them have some gorgeous rooms available for weddings. (Hotels and banquet halls are much more expensive) Also, don't look at big cities like Milwaukee, or Madison, look outside the city. We did so and are saving 50%, and we are still getting married on a Saturday. If she won't do it your way in the end, give her a set amount and tell her that is ALL she's getting and to grow up, what is she going to do when she is married! I'd be thankful for a $100 bucks from my parents!
2007-06-27 04:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by nicolemn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are various locations around Door County with beautiful, quaint indoor/outdoor spots. There is a small hotel near the bridge in Sturgeon Bay and I attended a very classy, yet small, wedding there. In Eau Claire, Wisconsin, there is a bed/breakfast and VERY nice restaurant that sits atop the highest hill in the area and overlooks all tthe countryside, They have an elaborate flower garden and very sophisticated staff and treatment. It's secluded and it's got charm. The flowers are beautiful and there are statues amongst them. The seating would be all outdoor and would probably accomodate ~500 tops. I attended a wedding there beneath an arch in the middle of the flower garden. It is considered the best restaurant in the entire Eau Claire area by many. (My family actually owns this one, too, so contact me if you'd like the number. ) The name of the place is Fanny Hill.
2007-06-21 04:25:57 · answer #4 · answered by rlfesty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth that you can't afford to pay for the facility. If she wants to have her "dream" wedding she's going to have to pay for it herself. Tell her that while you would love to be able to pay for the wedding she would like to have, you can only afford to spend so much and that you would like to reach a compromise. If she is unbending, there isn't much you can do besides tell her that you will give her the amount you can afford for a facility and she will need to come up with the rest of the cash.
I had to pay for my wedding and reception. My family couldn't put any money towards it due to tragic circumstances.
2007-06-21 04:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Unitarian Church
2007-06-27 08:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by panndora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get married anywhere you can get legal access and a licensed officiant to show up...which means nearly anywhere.
If your daughter has her heart set on one specific place, so be it. She may marry there...but there's no law that says you have to pay for it. If it costs more than you can afford, tell her she can get married there if she comes up with the difference.
I had my heart set on a very specific place when I was planning my wedding...and I paid for it myself. It never occurred to me to ask my father for any financial contribution.
If your daughter can't contribute financially to her own wedding, then she's going to have to grow up and be more flexible about it. She knows what you have to give, and she knows how much what she wants costs. Something's gotta give, and it's going to have to be her.
2007-06-21 04:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The real problem here is not your budget, but your daughter's spoiled, petulant attitude.
Tell her, "Here is what I can afford. Here is one option I have found. If you don't like this option, then I will work with you to find something you do like, but the venue/cost must be no more than $xxx."
Then stick to it. You do not owe your daughter a wedding at all, much less an extravagant affair that you can't afford.
2007-06-21 04:39:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ara57 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would offer to give her the lump sum you have to pay for the wedding and let her plan it anyway she wants. So if she wants to spend it all on the location then she will have to ask friends to bring food, bake a cake, use a mix cd for music instead of a dj or band. Just give her the bottom line. "You have $5,000.00 to spend on you wedding. That's all I can afford. Now go for it and plan it whatever way you want."
2007-06-25 07:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she insists on being an ungrateful snot let her elope!
2007-06-25 12:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋