Wedding Gift Etiquette?

Question

I am attending a wedding out of state this summer for a college friend who came to my wedding, which was out of state for him. He did not give us a gift. Should we still get one for him?

Answer 1

Ahhh.. but you are wrong. He did give you a gift. He gave you the gift of his presence!

He also paid his way there, his lodging and expenses. Do what you want about getting him a gift, that's entirely up to you. If you feel that the money you're spending to go suffices as a gift, than your off the hook, just get him a congratulatory card. If you want to get him something else, get something off the registry and have it sent to them prior to the wedding.

Best of luck on your decision.

Answer 2

What's the big whoop? If he is a friend, and will be an ongoing one, you 2 might do each other favors for years. Why keep score of wedding gifts?

So what the hey, get him a lovely card and write a check. It doesn't have to rival the national debt. Just a simple ordinary modest wedding check, whatever you can comfortably part with.

For college people, you sure don't have a clue about everyday common sense.

Answer 3

I can't agree with JJ2003 more!! I am getting myself in 3 months, and as I browse throught this site, I am both amazed and mortified at how .... "thifty" (a.k.a. Cheap) people are!! Since when is $20, or even $50, an exceptable gift for weddings? Being invited to a wedding is an honor, and by accpeting to go you are also accepting to the "responsibilites" of being a guest. Whether you want to be a "good" or "bad" guest it's entirely up to you. Just remember when you spend that $150-$200, the couple is spending 200 times more. Weddings aren't a charity event, but it doesn't hurt to be considerate of the couple either.

Answer 4

Yes, you should. Just because he was rude by not getting a gift for you, doesn't mean you should be rude in return. It wouldn't have to be a huge gift, nothing wrong with a wedding card & a gift card to whatever store they've registered at. Your obligation would then be finished & you would have the satisfaction at know you had done the right thing. Enjoy the wedding & reception - have fun!!

Answer 5

He probably didn't give you a gift due to the travel expenses. Being the better person is always the best idea! Give him a gift if you can afford one on top of your travel expenses. A gift is not "mandatory" at a wedding but you should give one despite the fact that he didn't get one for you.

Answer 6

If you want to, and are in the financial position to do so, then please do, but only if you want to. Remember, he may not have been in the financial position to give you a gift when you got married, it was either attend the wedding or send a gift. I guess he figured you'd rather HE be there, and his presense be your gift, rather than another coffee table book--obviously by your comment, he was wrong. I hate that people are taking such a lovely sentiment as giving a gift down to the level of almost buying a ticket, or using it as tit for tat. Giving a gift, in any circumstance IS VOLUNTARY. It is not required of guests to give gifts at weddings--it is customary--BIG DIFFERENCE people!!!

Answer 7

That is completely your choice. If you are going out of state for his wedding, paying for your own hotel room and such, you do not need to give a gift, although it is always nice to do.

A wedding is not a fundraiser. Gifts are NEVER required, but it is very nice to give a gift to the new bride and groom. It is the choice of the individual guest.

Answer 8

"He did give you a gift. He gave you the gift of his presence!"

This has to be the stupidest advice I have ever heard. Goes along with "It's the thought that counts"; "She's got a great personality", and "Love means more to me than money".

Look, here's the deal when you get married. You get sent an invitation to your wedding. That's like a theater or a sports team inviting you to purchase prime, club-level seats (with DINNER!) at just $100 per person. Your job is to then give a gift that has a minimum value of $200. Of course, this assumes you're not a dork and coming alone, in which case you really should kick in a "singles supplement" like on the cruise ships ($100 + $35 singles supplement seems fair).

Now if you're too cheap, then you don't go, and you get to shell out only $100 per couple on a gift (since the bride and groom don't have to feed you).

This is part of being American. What did our President tell us to do after 9-11? Did he say, "Ask what you can do for your country?" Did he say, "Join my daughters and enlist in the Armed Forces of the United States of America to serve in Afghanistan and (eventually) Iraq?" Did he say, "We all join together to pay more taxes to rebuild and come together"? No, no and no. He asked for our "continued participation and confidence in the American economy."

Well, weddings are an opportunity to do that for someone else, to build our economy. You kick in funds, and the bride and groom get to go shopping. They can buy china, or towels, or exchange your stupid punch bowl for cash to go drinking on the honeymoon. All that money fuels the economy, and fuels our nation.

You can bail out on giving a gift, but then be ready to explain why you hate America. Your choice.

Answer 9

It's the proper thing to do. Get him a gift card to a restaurant so him and his new bride can go to a nice dinner on their honeymoon, or relax once they get home. My husband and I received gift cards to sonic as a wedding gift. It doesn't have to be anything big, but at least you brought something.

Answer 10

Probably his reasoning behind not giving you a gift was that he was having travel expenses going to your wedding. Using the same rationale, since you are travelling and he didn't give you a gift, make it even by not giving him one either, or make it an unexpensive gift.

Good luck