My partner chose to quit his part time job at the end of oct/beging nov 2006. Due to unforseen circumstances I ended up moving in with him and his parents. I have a full time job at 39 hours per week. I pay £200 per month for the pair of us because he is unemployed. We spoke about it & he suggested doing a course to get a qualification to ultimately get a better job, but have a part time onside run along side his course. I was the ever encouraging girlfriend & agreed to pay the £75 per month for his course till he got a job. He then got a job in mar 2007 that was only 4 hours a week, and he quite after 3/4 weeks.
Now he says he can't be bothered to look for work or do his course, which will cost just short of £3000, regardless of wiether he does it or not now, which i am subsequently paying.
He talks about having our own place and family and stuff, but he doesnt understand that until he gets a job its impossible! He thinks all I do is nag when I talk to him about it. What to do?
2007-06-21 02:01:02 · 12 answers · asked by Need_to_know 5 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
kendoe brazo3zero;
Lol, that made me smile. Sad truth is I still don't think he'd understand how important it is....... :-(
2007-06-21 02:22:25 · update #1
I can't go to parents. They're divorced. Mum suffered a brain hemorage a year ago and is being looked after by my uncle, and his wife. They live in a 3 bed house with 4 adults and 2 young children, and they are 120 miles away. Not only do they not have the space, but I dont drive.
My dad, is shall we say a part time dad and has dissmissed me and my bro when we've needed help before, even when I left my previous ex and divorced him my dad didnt try to offer help or support.
I only know the people at work else wise now, as I only moved back this time last year.......
2007-06-21 02:38:55 · update #2
It seems like he has a lack of ambition or is downright lazy. If you keep telling him that it important for you for him to have a job and he doesn't get one, then you may have to realize that he isn't going to change. Do, you will have to decide if you wish to support him for the foreseeable future, or is it time to move on.
2007-06-21 02:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh boy... I even have so been there, you should no longer be procuring him, i understand its annoying yet whilst he won't make any attempt to help or come across a job then you definately ought to positioned your self first no remember how lots you look after him, why ought to you have each and all of the economic stress and concern, you will make your self ill, he has shown that he's rather satisfied to be appeared after, Its time to offer him an ultimatum, make a contribution or depart.. if he relatively loves you he gets his act at the same time, if he doesnt then you definately are greater effective off without him, or in case you reside in his domicile depart him with each and all of the charges and are available across a place of your very own get your existence returned hun, you deserve it and you deserve a guy which will relatively relatively take exhilaration in you. in case you ever want a shoulder or somebody merely to rant at... merely em or touch me on my 360, cant do lots yet am continually a sturdy listener. xx
2016-12-13 09:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk out today = go back to your parents (pay THEM the £200 a month as rent).
Leave him a note telling the useless workshy freeloading f*cker that you're not coming back until he has held down a Job for at least 6 months (and maybe not then).... and by the way, when is he going to pay back the £3,000 you lent him ?
PS you can come and pay for my keep and my training courses any day :-)
2007-06-21 02:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Steve B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sadly, this person is happy with their rut, and trying to place you there with them.
You have to make some life choices at this point, you have of it licked already, You are aware there is a problem.
Simple questions to ask this partner:
Where are we going in this?
What is your understanding of a partnership?
and so on, i mean i know i love my partner, and i would never use them, hold them back or sponge off them.
This is your life! Decide what YOU want and move in that direction. If it has to be without your partner, so be it.
I wish you all the success possible,
D
www.stockmysite.com
2007-06-21 02:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is still living with his parents let them pay for his course - god girl, pull yourself together - they are treating you terribly!!
get out and stay in a B&B if you must - honestly, anything would be better!!
Lorraine
2007-06-21 04:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to ditch this loser! Sorry. You can't be the backbone for the two of you. It's definitely time to move on to something better. Good luck to you! ;-)=
2007-06-21 02:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself together to get your own place and leave this loser behind. Why should he work and contribute if you are going to do it all? You deserve better than him! Good luck
2007-06-21 02:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by puanani 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unemployed people get into a loop which is difficult to get out of.....and they have to _want_ to change.
sounds like he has a nice cosy life, with you supplying the good stuff - when you're not nagging him :-)
I would drop him like a sh**ty brick
2007-06-21 02:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by SeabourneFerriesLtd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS TO ME, HE AND HIS PARENTS ARE AS HAPPY AS THEY CAN BE. HIS PARENTS GET RENT AND THEY FOUND SOMEONE TO PAY FOR THEIR SON'S LITTLE WANTS, SUCH AS COURSES, WHICH THEY KNOW HE NEVER FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH. IT IS TIME TO FIND YOUR OWN PLACE AND STOP SUPPORTING SOMEONE ELSE'S FAMILY! PEACE.
2007-06-21 02:14:08 · answer #9 · answered by brxny2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has a choice work or he's out.take him out to the town centre,make out your going shopping, and walk him into a staff agency.
2007-06-21 02:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋