I recently got an invitation to a bridal shower that included a little poem that sweetly requested money rather than gifts. When I was a bride (38 years ago) that would have been unthinkable, but maybe etiquette has changed. HELP.
2007-06-21 01:50:37 · 26 answers · asked by amiejay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is still unthinkable. Listing wedding registries on the shower invitations is barely acceptable. However, mentioning cash is wrong.
2007-06-21 02:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's rude, down right rude... the parties aren't about the gifts, I'm sure. I would be bothered if my invitation said (cash or check we don't need anything). I'm sure! What you can put is "monetary gifts appreciated" but, not "we don't need anything" LOL. Wow! That blows my mind how you two could think that it's not rude. You should also register some place because if people don't bring you money, you'll really get things you don't need or want. You are 23 you mean to tell me you have every thing in the world you need? I doubt that. I think you want the money for a vacation, or to help pay off the wedding.
2016-05-21 09:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT is still unthinkable. No matter how it's worded- as a cute little poem or a direct request - asking for money is considered not just rude, but incredibly rude.
I would strongly reconsider accepting the invitation. How ill-mannered and vulgar.
If you are indeed politically directed to go I would act upon instinct and purchase a sensible gift - such as a piggy bank.
Better yet, donate money you would have spent on a gift to a charity in the couple's name.
Here's a cute response for brides like that
There once was a bride named Rosie
Who stepped on everyone’s toesies.
By asking for cash
She fell flat on her Ash
So now she is tweaked in the nosie.
2007-06-21 02:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe that people actually think it's okay to ask for money. Or that they think that using a cute little poem actually makes it okay to beg for money.
I'm starting to think I'm from another era, because of how often this question is asked (and I'm in my early 30's!).
No, you're not crazy. It's absolutely not okay to do.
Personally, I'd love nothing more than to give her a card with a quarter taped inside it and a note that reads "Here's a quarter. Please use it to call Miss Manners," which is totally mean, but I think some of these "Gimme Pigs" need it!
However, I couldn't do that. That's just as tacky as asking for the money (although it WOULD be satisfying, wouldn't it?) If I were faced with someone this tacky, what I'd do is take the money I would have spent on a gift and make a charitable donation on the couple's behalf to a local organization and include a note saying "since you have stated that you already have everything you need, I have made a donation on your behalf to ____(charity) to help those who are in need."
2007-06-21 02:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by sylvia 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are supposed to "shower" the engaged couple with "gifts" not dollar bills.
Asking for "cash" is a form of soliciation . . rude . . and inappropriate. Nothing has changed, it is still improper to ask for "money" directly.
If you are uncomfortable with this request, and you should be, find out if the Bride is "registered" and where. You can either buy her a gift from her "gift list" or give her a "gift card" from that store or one of your favorite stores. I would avoid giving this Bride, or any Bride, cash as a Bridal Shower gift.
I am always suspicious of why a Bride would request "cash" at this point . . perhaps she needs the money to pay for the wedding cake or the florist . . or the final payment on her wedding gown???
My thoughts are . . if they want "cash" for a Bridal Shower gift then I wonder what they are going to "demand" as a wedding gift?
Answered by: A Certified Wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-06-21 02:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're correct - as far as etiquette is concerned, it is still crass, rude, unthinkable & simply not done. But today's kids aren't raised with manners or even a rudimentary understanding of etiquette. They think if anyone asks it's okay to say "we don't need a toaster, we want money for our honeymoon". They have honeymoon registries that will get your money for you. They have wishing wells you can leave on the table at the reception to slip your cash donation in. The brides wear purses specifically for the purpose of collecting cash at the reception. I'm getting married on October 31st; pehaps I should throw over how I was raised & campaign for cash for a blowout honeymoon?! Why shouldn't I get mine?!
haha No - seriously - they can't tell you what kind of gift to give; they are supposed to accept graciously whatever you choose to give & leave the cutesy little poems begging for bucks out of the invites. YOU ARE CORRECT!!
Have a great day & scrounge in your closet for something you can "re-gift" them with - & be sure to leave the original name tag on it, so they'll know what you did!! lol
2007-06-21 02:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Etiquette has not changed, but it's recently become "cool" to be rude.
I wouldn't attend either the shower or the wedding. I'd send a card, and depending on how close I was to the person, a small gift. Very small gift.
You know that the wedding will be crappy (cash bar, low quality food, etc) if they are already being so rude as to beg for cash. Why bother going.
2007-06-21 02:26:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Things have changed, people now think this is acceptable, but it is still rude. People are constantly asking how to word this on their invites here on Yahoo answers.
Etiquette has not changed just less people with good manners, and more materialistic people.
Also to be fair to the people with poor manners, people get married at older ages, and also live together before marriage or just live on their own. So many items they may already have.
This doesn't change the fact that it is rude. My wife never had a shower, there was no reason to fish for gifts we did not need.
2007-06-21 02:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by no_frills 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Think about it, would you rather have money to pay for a honeymoon or a house, or five toasters? I am glad people are finally asking for what they want instead of helping support just being wasteful. Give them something they will actually use. Many couples now already have enough "stuff" or too much that their homes are already cluttered. Don't just add to it.
Money is the way to go. Etiquette is relative and times are changing.
2007-06-21 03:28:29 · answer #9 · answered by Natty 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it's not proper. The purpose of a shower is to help the bride furnish her new home in preparation of marriage. Not to get cash.
Besides, what fun is it watching the bride open her gifts if they are all cards with a check?
I would get her a household item that you always need new ones of. Towels, sheets, tupperware, etc.
2007-06-21 03:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's in poor taste and in bad etiquette to request gifts of any kind, leave alone, demand for cash on an invitation!!!!
Good manners are never out of style and etiquette hasn't change. The thing is that there are more and more greedy, ignorant, uneducated, tacky, crass and tasteless couples that think that this is appropiate and try to make it better by wrting cutsie poems???
It's rude and offensive to demand cash, If I was you, I wouldn't attend.
Good luck.
2007-06-21 02:09:07 · answer #11 · answered by Blunt 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋