Muslim women on YA: Why do so many of you insult other women?

Question

Every time a question comes up about the way women dress, Muslim girls on here are always insulting the way women in the West dress, saying they look like prostitutes (don't believe me? I'll show you a few recent comments I've found).

Just because a woman chooses not to cover her head does not mean that she falls into the polar category. There are many women in America (and europe, etc) who dress conservatively because they want to. American women are no more subject to men's wishes than Muslim women - I choose the way I dress, I am not influenced by men or by the media.

If you want us to respect you and your choices, respect us too.

No, I'm not referring to your answers. The people who I am referring to are definitely Muslim (some were male as well, I should've been clearer).

I should also say that I respect anyone's choice to dress how they wish, but I find it hypocritical what was said.

Psst! Let me add one thing. I know that a lot of women do dress inappropriately, but to generalize and say "American women" is not right. I don't dress that way and I don't respect that way of dressing either.

FEZ - I'd prefer not to hurt anyone specific. But still, a lot of Muslims have answered that "we have Islam to tell us this, so we don't have to worry about what society says" (or something to that effect) which, in my opinion, is quite boastful, don't you think?

It wasn't only that question that you know of, for the record.

*EDIT: Unfortunately, the answer has gone into voting, so you can't see who made the comments, but this is the question which prompted mine: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArkAKNclHugQm_.fdoNcQXDty6IX?qid=20070619182820AA8jAX3&show=7#profile-info-a152ee6c031e2a89f2484cc12d36adf3aa

You can find your own answers and see what you said.

Terry G -

Don't complain when men are disrespectful?! Are you kidding?! I DO dress modestly, and men are disrespectful. Are you saying I shouldn't complain because I don't cover my head? Get a clue! MEN are the ones who need to change, not us.

Answer 1

"the polar category"
Good writing, very articulate.
However to a certain extent I agree with Muslim women.Too many women's dress is way too sexualized. Women always get angry when anybody says anything about this but they aren't the ones who have to be distracted and imposed upon by it. Not that they shouldn't be allowed to of course but as a man I like to be able to walk down the street without being totally sexually manipulated by somebody with that exact intention. I don't believe that any desire for modesty represents sexism or that all old fashioned ideas are conservative or repressive. I respect and appreciate Muslim women's sense of decorum provided it is voluntary rather than forced or pressured. I respect what this question is saying but in a way I see the Muslim women't point frankly. Especially when you see twelve year old girls WAY WAY WAY oversexualized- its just wrong.

Answer 2

Maybe you should post the exact answers you want to criticize.

I know what question you are talking about and although I think it should have been worded differently I do think there are a lot of women that fall into that category. (not you) I also know what my answer was and although it was worded somewhat differently, there was somebody on there, a non-Muslim I might add, that said the same thing I did - that women might feel that they have to dress that way. You might not (along with other women) but there is a large number of women who do feel that way and the media, like it or not, does have an effect. This is true in any culture.

I also found it odd how so many women thought that European women dressed worse (as a whole). I've lived in Europe (a few times and in different countries). I think women in Europe although 'almost naked' in the eyes of a Muslim are generally dressed in a much classier fashion than most American women.

I think people should earn respect, only a limited amount is given before one has truly earned it.

EDIT: To Gable above--not all Muslim women COME to this country - many are born here!

EDIT:EDIT: Okay!

Answer 3

I don't know who you are referring to because the Muslim women I know here do NO such things. Women all around the world dress trashy and modesty is something about Islam that I love. I don't personally care how ANYBODY dresses, but I will not be condemned because I think it's wrong to show lots of skin in public to anybody who wants to look at it and I refuse to do it. I keep my opinion on this to myself, but it seems many others here cannot do the same when it comes to how Muslim women dress. If women want to show everything they have, then that is fine, but don't complain when men are disrespectful. I personally choose to show only my husband how my body looks, and I was that way BEFORE I converted to Islam.


There is a complete lack of respect and total intolerance here and everywhere in the world to anything different. That attitude needs to change.

Answer 4

I am sorry you had an incident like that. I encourage my Muslim sisters to use hikmah (wisdom)!

Anyways, I know many women who think this way and I can understand their point of view:
Many women here in the west dress very provacatively. The closer the summer gets, the less clothes are worn. I remember the trend last year was those little skirts that barely cover anything. Some had shorts underneath, sure, but that doesnt change the image you represent. Especially seeing as many didnt have shorts underneath (I know, I have seen any women bend over in 'em, just randomly on the street!).

Also, cleavage is the new black apparently. And before that, midrifs. Even if you look to 20 years ago, even 10, most of these styles literally were reserved for the prostitutes! Does it make you feel sexy to wear it? heck ya! does it make you feel pretty and attractive in turn? yea! But at what price? You have basically given away the cookies to every man and woman who looks. This, in my opinion, is sad. I am white, I grew up in canada, my family is scottish, I wasnt brought up to think to dress modestly like I do now so dont think there is a bias. I used to dress that way and I know how it feels to have people stare, whistle, approach you, etc. You feel like a woman, and even mpowered. But how empowered can you be when your empowerment is dealt at the will of others? If you were to dress differently tomorrow, how you feel sexy? beautiful or pretty without all the stare and oogle eyes? Not as much, but you;d wonder why they stopped staring.

When you dress with some sort of modesty (i am not saying every non-muslim women should go get the muslim garb cuz thats unrealistic). Modesty in the sense of cover at least until a few inches above the knees -- at least! show less cleavage, theres no need to put it all out there. You can still be sexy without dressing in the role of a 'prostitute'.

I remember before, as a young teenage girl, men would literally stop and ask 'how much' when i was in a mini skirt or tight jeans and a tank or 'baby tee' as they call it. They saw me for only what they could see -- my body. I took that power away from them.

We are just saying -- chill my sister! dont sell yourself short.

Answer 5

I am muslim and don´t insult other women for their choice of dressing. I don´t mind at all, you ask me why we do it I'll answer you and I think it is unnessary to be insulting other women (if insult is the right word). Personally I don´t really like this type of discussion when someone wants to be right by showing all the wrong going on in the other team, I mean if it is right then people are grown up enough to see the reasoning through, we are just discussing on this Y!R&S after all. . Muslims women should not need to attack others to get the message through (if that is happening, which i have not been too aware of but ok) and I would expect that non-muslim don´t attack us either then.

Answer 6

Muslims are not supposed to think that if they cover "they're very pure" than the others n stuff........every1 has their right to choose how to dress and yes i do know that there American women who dress modestly.........but if uve noticed there are MANY ppl on here who jus go ON AND ON about how we muslim women are oppressed and all tht crap jus coz we cover when we dont even bother abt how other women dress.

Yes i TOTALLY agree wid u, we shud respect each others choices but there are sum ppl here who just dont get it.

Oh and to a few ppl above who said we are jealous...lol thts the lamest thing ive ever heard.

Answer 7

The net stinks when it comes to communicating on a limited forum like Yahoo!Answers.
When a non Muslim comes and posts things derogatory about Muslim women, hijaab, Muslim men, Islam some people become upset and shoot back.
It's a pretty normal human reaction, nice or not.

Answer 8

The same way you have addressed your question to "Muslim women on YA" (generically), some Muslim women are referring to American women generically. Of course not every non-Muslim woman dresses like a hooker. And not every Muslim woman on YA has insulted other women.

Answer 9

I never said anything like that I hope, because I don't wear a head scarve so I some times feel ashamed of my self so I can't tell another person any thing..........but that being said I am sorry if I ever offended you by mistake.....

Edit: but what I don't understand is that why some American women let guys use them like a piece of tool?

Answer 10

sorry but I have never insulted another woman for her choice of dress, whom she associates with, or her religion

It is not right to lump a whole group of people together

it is not my place to judge others that is for Allah for he is the only one that knows what is in a person's heart