I would like to impress my 14 year old (step-daughter)..but,...?

Question

should I just be myself,rather than trying to do newer things, or what could you suggest that might help for me to really get to know her better?
She and I are both on myspace..and she is always blogging and I can read her stuff...I have met her twice before and we do get along..but, I just kind of wish that I could be more of a friend to her..then just her dad's new wife(as of last summer) but she had met me way before that!

I feel like I can talk to her older brother easier..and I have always been able to talk to guys much easier as well...had a lot of male friends growing up!
But, I just wanted to know if there was a way to really get to know the teen better(being that she is a very sporty and smart type...and also just fun all of the time..) I do get along with her, like I have stated, and I don't want to push her,(I was a step kid,and I KNOW what this is like, from the step kids point of view as well...although everybody is different too!) soo, what would you suggest?

thanks!

P.S. No, she doesn't live with me...she comes to visit for two weeks in the summer time! I always look forward to seeing she and her brother! I am always sad when they have to leave!

Answer 1

me and my stepmom are super close. i would never say she was my mother but she comes very close to that. you should be yourself and try new things. cause im 15 and me && my stepmom do plenty of things together. you could maybe go to the movies or offer && see if she can take some friends w/ her. yall could go shoppin....girls love to shop!! lol im sure you can think of some things to do other than sit at home && tell her what to do. cause even though you have to look after her, you can always make time for havin fun!

Answer 2

Don't try too hard. She already knows you and odviously likes you. I would ask her opinion on what activities ya'll could do together, like if ya'll are just sitting around, say, "I'm bored, lets go do something. What would you like to do?" That way it is not too much. And maybe take her to do something she has never done before, introduce her to something you like that she might be interested in. Even though spending time with just her and you is important, it is also important that you give her and her dad some space. Maybe one day while she is there, go see a friend of yours and leave dad at home with the kids to order pizza and talk. That shows that you are interested in thier lives, but you are not stepping all over thier territory. It sounds like you already have a good relationship with her, so don't worry. Every relationship, step or other wise has it's ups and downs, and when teenagers are involved it is alot trickier territory.

Answer 3

I think you should just message her once in a while but not too much. Keep your end open and let her make a move if she wants too. Some teenagers are more friendly than others so it's hard to tell. But overall you are an adult and stepmother so you're not expected to go out of your way I think to be your stepdaughter's friend. Just a few hello's and how ya doing should be okay. Save the getting close and acquainted to when she is actually visiting.

Answer 4

I guessed by your question that she does not live with you and her father. I would find out what she is most into and maybe invite her sometime to join you in that activity. If she is into sports, find out her favorite sport (and maybe team while your at it) and make it a girls day out at the ballpark (or whatever). If you don't think she'd go for that, try just asking her to visit for a week and do things together like shopping or peticures. Just a thought. I have never been in the position of having a step parent, but my mother is deceased and I know that if my father ever remarried that I would want a friendly relationship with my new step mother.

Answer 5

Well,

I agree and disagree with the statement below. I understand you dont need the girl seeing you in the eyes of just a friend. She does need to understand you hold a level of authority in her life. But I also understand the aspect of wanting to be her friend. You could arrange a day and go get your nails done and go to eat and stuff, or if she is more of a rough type gal you could take her camping at a lake or something. You could get to know her better that way and she can see that you like to have fun and can be there for her too. :) Good luck

Answer 6

I am a step daughter. Me and my step mum do get into fights.

The best way to try and make her like you more is to just be nice all the time. In a way try to be her friend but not too much as she will see that you want her to like you.
Make sure you are not excluding her and definitely make sure when she's over that you are not constantly kissing or cuddling your husband. Daughters hate to see their fathers with women either than their mother or themselves.
Make sure your husband tells her that you are trying to be nice to you, and because in new marriages children only listen to their true parents.
Make sure your husband spends time with her alone so she doesn't feel you are taking him away from her

PS make sure you are not telling her off heaps. That is definitely a big no,no.

Answer 7

BE YOURSELF!!!!! but respect that she might have akward feelings toward you if she lives with her birth mother...

my sister and i live with our mom and she hates my stepmom for no reason really. some people are just stubborn like that...

i suggest asking her what she wants to do one weekend and let her take you where ever she wants...dont try to be "cool" and fit in or whatever because teens can tell if its not natural

and after you guys hang out PLEASE dont send her a "i had a great time" or something comment on myspace because i can promise that she wont like that...just give her time and your relationship with her should become stronger without u having to try to impress her

Answer 8

Just be yourself. You can be a friend and a step-parent but if you are trying, it is not going to look nutural. Just be yourself and all things will come in time.She has got to know you are not trying to replace her mother. She might resent that. This way, in the end, she will see how blessed she is to have two sets of parents and two sets of special friends. If she is into sports, just be supportive of her.This is really all she expects.

Answer 9

Be yourself, otherwise she may resent you more. Let her know the real you and hope for the best. Sometimes in a situation where you are the step parent things aren't ever easy no matter how hard you try.

Answer 10

Just be yourself! Talk to her brother and find out her interests. Maybe try to plan a girls day out, take her to do things she likes. You might have more in common with her then you think!