I'm 29 and my mom is in her early 60's. She has not been to a doctor in literally decades- no yearly check ups, no mammograms, no gyno appts- nothing. Only thing she does is go to a dentist. However, she is very fit and healthy, takes care of herself, exercises, eats well, vitamins, etc. I'm just torn in terms of whether it's my responsibility to "make her" go to a doctor. I work in a hospital and see ALL the time people who die from cancer that could have been treated successfully if it was caught early. Every time I have brought this subject up, she gets very angry and our relationship suffers. My younger brothers seem to think this is my job to get her to go to a doctor, but how can I make an adult of sound mind go, I can't physically force her! It'd be different if she was really sick and refused to let me take her to a hospital- I'd call 911 and that would be that. I feel like I should just drop it and respect her decision, even though I really disagree with it.
2007-06-13 17:03:35 · 3 answers · asked by Jen1943 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
but if I drop the issue, I'll feel like I am not being a "good daughter", and will feel so guilty if something did happen. Plus, my brothers will hold me partially responsible for not keeping on her and trying to change her mind/make her go.
2007-06-13 17:05:35 · update #1
Ignore your brothers, they apparently don't have the guts to confront your mom themselves, so tell them to butt out.
Your mom is a grown woman, and she knows the risks. You cannot make your mom go to the doctor if she doesn't want to, and its not really any of your business.
Leave her alone after you simply tell her that if she will not have a check up for herself, would she please do it for you. I don't think that will really work, but its all you can do. Then you need to drop the subject and accept that your mother is in control of her life and this is what she has chosen to do.
2007-06-13 18:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink. if she doesn't want to go then let it be.my grandmother rarely if at all, went to the doctor and she lived to 82 years old. granted i thought she shouldve gone more often, but it was her choice to make not mine or anyone else. by u keep asking her is only making her not want to even more. its called reverse pshycology. anyway let her be and just make sure to visit her as much as possible and maybe shell decide to go on her own.
2007-06-13 17:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by mike m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brothers it's their turn to talk to her about it.
You've tried your best. If she's not gonna listen, then, she's just not. If anything happens, try not to feel guilty. You did try.
2007-06-13 17:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋