Last March 2006 my Fathers best friend, his brother passed away from lung cancer, sad I must say. Three weeks later on March 21, my best friend passed away, my mother. Two weeks ago, my wife had a misscarriage for the fifth time and we were both devisated. Last Saturday morning somtime my father fell and suffered a massive stroke with no chance of recovery. Tomorrow I must let my father go since he suffered a massive stroke with no chance to survive on his own. I must give permission for the doctors to pull the ventilator off and let him go when his body finally gives out. I am so sad and hurting inside it is difficult for me to even write this without wiping the tears from my eyes cause I can't see the keyboard. The hurt inside is so bad I feel like I want to go as well. With a loving wife at my side, I can not leave her and this keeps me sane and wanting to be here for her. We will try again someday to have a child. I am 50, she 40, but we will still try for us and them.
2007-06-13 17:01:19 · 6 answers · asked by viper1056 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have suffered through all of this. Let me say first that I'm so sorry for all your losses. I, too, have had to make a decision such as the one you're having to make for your father. Your heart is saying "I can't let him go", but your head knows - he's already gone.
In making this same decision for my mother, I had to think of it this way. Would I want to live like this? My answer was "no". Then, why would I want my dear, sweet mother to live like this? Why would I want her to suffer in a way that I would never want for myself? To keep her alive on machines would be for me, not for her. When I thought about it in that way, I was able to let her go. She's forever in my heart, but I know I made the right decision. It was a decision she would have made had she been able. You and your loving wife will find a way to be strong and continue. You need each other. You're in my prayers.
2007-06-13 17:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by Beckers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for the loss of your father. Really all we are guaranteed in life is death, and your father has come to his time. Let him go with the assurance that this is right and best for him. I had a stroke last year and if I had not recovered I would want my daughters to do exactly what you have to do.
You need to get into see your doctor to get some help, that is a whole lot of loss in a short period of time. As far as trying to have another baby, I hope you are under the care of a good ob/gyn and they are advising you. Unfortunately, age is not on either of your sides, so you may need to make other plans.
Life is not fair, its not easy and we sometimes feel like the burden of the world is on our shoulders. Lean on your wife and be gentle with yourself. Time will heal you.
2007-06-13 18:13:43 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My deepest sympathy to you and wife and family. My father died and my whole world changed. Have faith in the Lord. I'm serious. Faith has gotten me through more times than I can count. How would you feel if you were in your fathers position? Would you just want to be breathing unable to even do that on your own? He's already gone to a better place. Let him go baby. He wants you to let him go. The harder the lifes message the more we learn.
2007-06-13 17:13:41 · answer #3 · answered by Margo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all, just want to say I'm sorry about all your misfortune. I lost both my grandmothers last year. One 2 days before my b-day. The other was burried 2 months later, the weekend before Christmas. If I was in your shoes iI would let them go so they can move on. The last thing I remember saying to the second grandma was to, "go ahead and let go and join your family." I knew they were waiting for her and somehow I had peace with that. So as hard as it is, just let him move on and go with his family. I hope I helped you and didn't just upset you more. Good luck and I wish you and your wife well.
2007-06-13 17:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by mike m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it was only a week ago, there is still a chance. there is never a 100% chance of not being able to survive a stroke. even if the odds are against you, give it some time. wait a little longer, that is what i would do.
2007-06-13 17:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be with him till the very end..when every thing starts to shut down in the body there is no chance of recovery..i have been through it,just tell him that you love him and be there for him.it may seem that he doesnt know what is going on but he does and he understands...the baby will come when the lord sees it fit...everything happens for a reason....good luck and you are in my prayers...
2007-06-13 17:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋