I am in between on liking them because frankly they treat my husband like a kid still! I remember one time my mother in law bought my husband underwear! I was absolutely livid. He is a grown 25 yr man its time to cut the apron strings dont ya think? And also his dad still relies on him for everything from lifting things to fixing cars. I haven't really in the year and 3 months we've been married had really any peace at all. I am at a loss as to what to do?
2007-06-13 15:40:48 · 9 answers · asked by tx80sgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He doesn't say anything he just laughs and says they are being supportive.
2007-06-13 15:52:44 · update #1
O.K. Buying him underwear is a little much. Although you can't blame her for it. He is an adult and if he needs underwear or whatever he should get it himself or ask you to get it. He definitely needs to make it clear to his mother that he can take care of that himself. I buy my husband that type of thing when I need it myself.
As for helping his Dad out I am unsure. If his father needs help it is wonderful that he wants to help but if it is every night I understand the trouble. Maybe you should ask your husband to schedule maybe one day a week that he can help them so that you can have more time as a couple?
Good luck!
2007-06-13 15:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get along great with my father in law and the rest of my husbands family. My mother in law is another story. But, then again there is not one family member she gets along with.
So far out of 2 children she has won with one son divorced and every girl friend he has she is on a wining streak of breaking them up.
To a parent he will always be his child. Some apron strings are made of kryptonite. Not even superman can cut them. So good luck with that.
I would not get upset about him helping them out after all if he did nothing for them you would think that was odd. Get a date night once a week. Just you and him.
2007-06-14 16:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding! Why would you make an issue out of such a petty thing. Once a Mom always a Mom. My MIL used to do that for my husband when she would find things on sale. I was always grateful to her for saving me the trouble.
Also what is so wrong with him helping his father? I think that is a wonderful quality. Likewise, a man who treats his parents right makes a good husband and father. I have seen this in my own son. Isn't that what family is all about?
Men don't stop having a family once they get married.
DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!! DON'T LOOK FOR TROUBLE WHERE THERE IS NONE!!
2007-06-14 11:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there tx80sgirl. Like you I used to feel that way about my husband. You see my mother in law is a widow so there she depends on a lot of things on my husband.
Later I realized how lucky I am to have married a very caring man. You see a good son makes a good husband and a good father.
I know where your coming from, seeing you're in law treat your husband like a kid is really a very uncomfortable feeling.
You have to realize that a lot of parents will always be that way with their children. It is ok really if his parents are kinda like that. what is important is that you can see a very mature,independent, loving and reponsible man in your husband.
Like me I think you are just a little jealous and seeks a little bit more attention from your husband. But you know a nice long talk with your husband will do you a lot of good.
Consider yourself Lucky. You married a good man.
Take care and God Bless :)
.
2007-06-13 22:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by chloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound too bad...we all go through these types of things when we're married in our 20's. I'm 28 and have been married for 8 years and I'm still seeing some of those things that just irritated the hell out of me in the beginning. I guess you learn to live with that crap that bugs you and sooner or later you realize theres plenty of other things you should focus on and spend your time worrying about....but to answer your question I get along with both of them but I pretty much hate my mother-in-law.
2007-06-13 22:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married, but here's what I know. My brothers wifes parents are just like that. They moved an hour and a half away from home for college and her mom would call every night at 10 to make sure she was in her dorm room and my brother wasnt there... If she didn't answer the phone her mom would get in her car and drive the distance to her school to check on her... (It didnt help,. they had a kid their soph year in college) They did everything in their power to adopt him and try to keep him as their own, but it didnt work. My brother dealt with it by praying and asking God for help to deal with them.. It's been 6 years since they got married and her parents are finally starting to calm down, but it took a lot and my sister in law had to pretty much cut the string attaching her to them. Her and my brother (along with my parents) sat down and had a family conversation and put everything on the table that was bothering each other and worked it all out.
I would think to tell your hubby to talk to them, they need to understand that he is grown and has a wife now. You could talk to them as well, tell them that you really like them, but you feel like they are taking away from your relationship with your husband... Its not a bad thing that his dad relys on him to fix cars and such (i live with my bf and his dad does the same thing daily) but treating him like a child is not acceptable by any means. It may not work for everyone, but sitting them down and talking as a family really helped my brother in his situation.
As for having peace, be patient and loving towards them and it will come! = ) Maybe they just need to know that you are there for the long haul...
2007-06-13 22:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by haught21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! I'm sorry. I had to laugh. Hub and I went to visit his mother several years ago and while we were out visiting his brother she actually went through our suitcase and decided it was time he had new underwear! I could not believe it...she bought him 16 pairs to bring home!
Over time she's realized that I can take care of him just fine, and I've grown to accept the fact that she is mother and always will be. I have a son, so I try to put myself in her shoes. We're the most important woman in their lives, until they get married and that's a very hard pill to swallow. (she still buys him socks every Christmas)
None of my in-laws live anywhere near us so without them in our faces everyday, it makes it easier to deal with.
2007-06-13 22:54:29 · answer #7 · answered by RanaBanana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know they are just being parents
you just need to remember to be the wife
what they are doing are parent type things
your role is different...keep it that way
mom is just in a habit of buying him underwear...not a challenge to you...give it up
dad relies on him so one day when your husband needs help...he will know who to call...his dad is really a good example for your husband of how family helps each other
what to do?...smile, be the wife, laugh
2007-06-13 22:48:55 · answer #8 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did until i figured out they were full of ****. That was about 6 years into our relationship. They were all talk and unlike your situation they are the opposite... they promised us so much (we didn't ask for anything nor did we need anything) and they never came through with it.
What does your hubby say about all this?
2007-06-13 22:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by chicana06815 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋