is it wrong to date your ex's bestfriend?

Question

well i went out with this major jerk and i broke up with him because he was being a major jerk. and now i like his best friend and i need to know if it is wrong to ask him out. HELP ME PLZ!!

Answer 1

JUST ASK HIM OUT...BUT IF YOU DON'T SEE THAT HE IS INTERESTED DON'T INSIST

Answer 2

Depends on your age, level of attachment from the ex, and their communication. Though I would recommend finding a new circle to enter into the dating game with (it is usually not good to stay within the same realm of potential suitors), if there really was not much of an attachment ot the ex (i.e. - you dated like 2 days), then it is understandable that you just didn't work out. As adults, you date and realize these things and usually no harm done, especially if the other guy likes you and has more in common with you. Second, you might want to wait until things have cooled down with the ex before you move on, as people can be somewhat territorial. So, do things as friends first. See if you have commonalities and if there is even a spark there. If you end up on good terms with your ex (yes, I get it that he is a jerk but sometimes jerks make better friends than boyfriends!), then you might have a chance with the other guy.

However, I wouldn't really recommend it. There are plenty of proverbial fish in the sea, so find one of those. You might be risking too much and look like the bad guy (even if the jerk is the bad guy) or sully your reputation, if you move in too fast. In fact, maybe let him make the next move, as it is really up to his value of his friendship with your ex as to your future.

Answer 3

I don't see why it would be wrong. They're only friends. There isn't anything immoral about dating someone's friend. Why should you have to steer clear of all his friends? They're as much game as anyone else. In fact, I bet you have friends that are also friends with some jerks that you wouldn't want to be around. Does it then also make it wrong to be friends with those particular friends? I have to wonder if this guy you like knows that your ex is indirectly and unintentionally dictating their love life. And what if you're someone that has a lot of bad luck with relationships. Do your possible future lovers exponentially decrease each time you break it off with someone? Take my advice and forget about your ex. It is time for you to have what YOU want. Now go have fun.

Answer 4

Not wrong at all. Although the jerks best friend would be breaking every unwritten male rule if he did agree to go out with you.

No man should ever hit on his mates girlfriend or ex girlfriend.

Actually the unwritten rules are that he would be required to ask the jerk first before he could agree to go out with you. But this is a very extream case and it would be a lot safer for him if he just said no.

You on the other hand are not constrained by any of the male rules us men have made for ourselves.

Answer 5

Technically it's not wrong to date you ex-boyfriends best friend....but you have to be careful to not get a bad reputation as a girl to go thru guys AND THEIR FRIENDS. Sometimes the best relationships come out of unexpected places like that though. Just be sure that you're interested in his friend for the right reasons, not revenge. Because believe me, guys gossip as bad as us girls! If you really want to leave that jerk's head spinning, then let him see that he didn't make you or break you. If you're a good person, then he'll regret being a jerk, sooner or later. Just be cool and confident and let his best friend pursue you. You can let his friend know that you like him in a subtle way, not too forward. You don't want to look desparate.....just confident. Good luck!

Answer 6

That would be between them. I never really did understand what the big deal was. If I had broken up with a guy, I wouldn't care if my best friend were to date him unless I still had feelings for him. However, if he was a major jerk, I would warn my best friend, and if they were dating, wouldn't bother me. I do know some people get upset over it. It would be a situational thing.

Answer 7

It's only wrong if the best friend, whom you are now dating holds his friendship with Major Jerk above having a relationship with you. Other wise, who care what Major Jerk thinks.

Answer 8

Nope, Its not wrong, especially because he was a major jerk. The problem may come in between the major jerk and his best friend....you know the unspoken code of not dating a friend's ex and all...but that's not your problem.

Answer 9

If you and the first b/f split because he was a jerk, there's really no harm in you ASKING his friend, but if he's a good friend, he probably won't say yes. If he does, then he's probably either asked your ex if he was cool with it, or totally disregarded his feelings. If it's the latter, he's not the kind of guy you'd want to be with anyway, because he'll do the same to you.

Answer 10

How would you feel if your best friend started dating "major jerk"? And if you do date the friend, why would he treat you better? Are you going to hang out with him and his friends example "major jerk"? Do you think it would really work? Maybe you should look elsewhere for dates.

Answer 11

I did and I married him. My husband called my ex, his best friend, and asked if he minded. He said no but once things got moving the ex wasn't so happy. He was nasty for a while but eventually he grew up and moved on. I have now been married to my hubby for almost 6 yrs. And you know what...it was worth it. My hubby's relationship with the friend was not compromised and I am even friends with him again. Just be prepared for those awkward moments when you two have to see each other. Good luck!!!