I want to give my child up for adoption. Is it difficult?

Question

We have a 1 and a half year old girl. She was a mistake to be honest. She wasnt planned. I didnt use contraception and wife didnt use birth control

We both have absolutely no love for her whatsoever. I cant explain it but, she means the same to us as anyother kid you see on the streets. We are both career minded and she is just getting in the way. So we thought we should just give her away to someone who cares and would enjoy taking care of her.

We will be seeing a solicitor next week, but wondering if there are any people who have given up for adoption and is procedure difficult.

What can we do? We dont love her. Shesreally like a stranger to be honest. We have no affection towards her. We dont kiss her or hug anything like that. Thats just the way we are. Like it or hate it.

the bottom line is she gets in our way and we want her out of our lives and into the lives of someone who cares and wants to raise a child. because we certainly dont

Thank you for your comments. Half of you have given great advice and others have been a bit rude. At least understand I am being honest. Both my wife and i have no feelings for her whatsoever. we just live a life where we change her clothes, bathe and feed her. thats it. we dont play with her or kiss her or hug her. We are simply not interested in her. We want to travel, see the world, go out and not have to worry about this stupid kid. Getting rid of her will be good for us, for new parents, everyone involved.

Also, where is it written that parents have to love a child. Either you love someone or you dont. I love my wife thats why i married her. I wasnt given the choice with Rebecca. To be honest my wife regrets not having an abortion. i regret not using contraception

NOBODYS PERFECT- WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES- AND OUR CHILD WAS A HUGE MISTAKE. THATS WHY WE WANT TO GET RID OF HER ONCE AND FOR ALL

Answer 1

Dear Parent,

Hello, my name is Rebecca. My husband and I are unable to have children of our own and we are hoping to adopt. Please take a look at www.lifetimeadoption.com. We are using this service to adopt and there are many families just like us that would love to adopt, your child. It is very easy just call their birthparent 1-800 number on their website, and they will send you more information about any of the families you are interested in. If you would like to know more about us please visit our websie at http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/scott_rebecca/index.html
You are facing a very tough decision, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Rebecca

Answer 2

I can understand the amazement of my fellow answerers, but I can also empathise with you. I am an adoptee and am eternally grateful for my adoptive parents and my life as a result of my adoption. I would not be the successful and relatively content person that I am today....in fact I would have been much worse off. However you must take into consideration that how you feel now, about your daughter, is not how you may feel in 20 or 30 years time. I do feel that she would be better off with a loving family, but you must also prepare yourself that one day she may want to trace you and what will you tell her?I am hoping that you would be honest but not as directly or selfishly as you have been on here.
You should contact your local social services and thank your lucky stars that neither yours or your wife's parents felt the same way you and your wife are feeling, when you were children.

Answer 3

By know, I think that you have alredy given your child, but have you ever stopped and thinkk how she feels now. I'm more than sure that she is with a loving new family, and I respect your choice of putting her up for adoption, I really dont know if I would have been able to do that when I have my child, but lets stop that bullshit and let me tell you this. Have you and your wife stopped and think how she feels now? if she knows she is adopted? if she does know, how she feels? do you wonder, if she thinkss she is adopted because her real parents hated her? I am telling you this because I am adopted and when I found out I was adopted I thought that, that I wasnt enough, that I was just a Zero in the left,
I'm not saying you did a bad desicion, but maybe you and your wife could try and find some contact with her, I know you guys didnt really loved her, but dont you wonder how she looks now? what are her talents? what does she does? trry some contact, try to talk to her, to find her, not to be her parents, but to be her friends. I wish you guys the best of luck, and I hope you all end up happy. Just think about it. Love!!

Answer 4

In the World there are millions of parents that dream to have a child and they cannot to have one for different causes. And millions that do not want the one that they will have or had.
You can get also all kind of people from those that traffic with babies and selling them. That is very frequently under the veil of a Charity and Christian Institution but reality is that they are commercial C.O. of babies with the history of that they will get a home full of love for those unwanted children. Previously I wanted to do that sacrifice that is great finantial for a median class professionals that want legally to adopting a baby. . But we cannot do that the usually price is 60.000 US $. They have complot with Governments in poor Countries and those Governments with Orphan 's children Houses. If you add all expenses the cost is more thank 100.000 US $.
IWe were a Medical Doctors, married many years, without children. r By a miracle of God , a day I accompany my husband to help for a unemployed parents in a slum. The lady was pregnant, I asked her,about that, but she said me that she wanted to abort. I bed her to stop to do that. I give her the riesg of abortion etc and the spiritual side of that is a terrible sin. Also I asked her if she can give us that baby.? to give a home , education and a better life. . She did know us because some times we helped them without any kind of interest. They agrre with us. . We are a real proud parents of a sweet baby. we dreaming to have a baby girl. But that only God can decide. Pray to get the sincere and good parents that your baby girl need. God bless you

Answer 5

I think you are doing the right thing. Every child deserves to be loved and it's great that you realize someone else will do an adequate job.

Adoption is not difficult, but it can be expensive and may take some time, but if you find the right family, they can become guardians almost immediately.

I do not know where you live, so I can only tell you how it works in California, where I live. The filing fee is only $20 per kid, but there is an investigation fee of $700. A social worker must talk to the adoptive parent and make sure the adoption is in the best interest of the child. This can take several months to complete, but it only takes a few hours for you to give someone temporary guardianship until the adoption is complete. If you have questions, please email, it's hard to answer your questions based on such a brief description of the situation.

Answer 6

This is a bit odd. Usually people who have children that were unplanned immediately decide whether or not to give them up for adoption. Many make the decision while they are still pregnant. On top of that usually single mothers are forced to give up their child for adoption especially if they are young and religious beliefs forbid abortions.

The fact that you are both in a relationship together and have careers makes you more than suitable enough to raise a child. And you had the option to give up the child for adoption right away. Many do it as the child is born to avoid any attachment which is what you should have done. I feel if you go through with it you'll miss her every day and wonder what could have been. Most unplanned pregnancies no matter how inconvenient it is, tends to change the way you feel and provides a deeper meaning in one's life.

Answer 7

Adoption is one of the most difficult decision that any parent might have to make in their lives. And while you may have fantasies of how much easier your lives will be with out her - realize that adoption is FINAL and you can't go back and change it after you realize what you gave up.
But remember that your child has feelings, and is a person too. She deserves to be raised by a family who WANTS to have her in their lives and who WILL LOVE HER no matter what mistakes she or her parents have made. And if you can't provide that now then adoption is really the best thing.
But go to a REPUTABLE AGENCY. Go to an adoption agency who will work hard for the CHILD to make sure SHE has a GOOD HOME. Don't just sell her to the highest bidder because she deserves MORE than that - and a decision like this whether you realize it or not WILL impact the rest of your life so do what's best for your daughter now so that in the long run you don't regret "selling her out".
I speak on behalf of my birthfather who I have met, and myself as an adopted child.

Answer 8

I think that that is the coldest thing I have ever read.

Your daughter is now 18 months old and knows that you are her parents - why on earth did you not let this child live in a family that love her and want her as she deserves from the moment she was born?

I can't understand someone like you and if I could - I'd be there in seconds to take your daughter and look after her properly. My heart breaks for her and the horrible way you and your partner are dismissing her. She isn't a dog... a pet that has got under your feet... she is a child, a living human being that you chose to create and bring into the world.

As for how to give her up for adoption - well - you need to contact your local Social Services and explain that you want to put your child up for adoption. They will probably put her into foster care first and you will have to go through several long processes.

When your daughter is safely away from her selfish parents - I suggest you both take a long hard look at yourselves and realise the full weight of what you have both done.

I pray to god that your daughter gets a mummy and daddy that she deserves and that she is safe and happy for the rest of her life. I also hope you regret your decision every day of your life and that she never gives you a second chance.

You should both be steralised.

Answer 9

Right here is my advice:

1) Speak to profesional agencys now about finding this lovely little girl, who deserves love and care, a home with parents who deserve her!

2) do not post this sort of thing on a general site such as this these are questions for profesionals. Your daughter deserves mor respect!

3) get steralised. You dont want children and no child should be brought into the world in this sort of situation.

I have a daughter the same age and feel sick that someone could feel this way about a defensless child, every baby should be a wanted baby.

Answer 10

At least you are being honest. But I have to ask, why did you wait a year and a half before making this choice? Your little girl is in her formative years, and if you haven't played with her, and you haven't bonded with her, she probably has attachment problems. My husband and I can not have children right now due to infertility issues, however, we are considering adoption. You do not have to go through a solicitor. What state do you live in? And what are your requirements for the adoptive family of your child? I'm not by any means begging for your child, please do not think that, however, if you want a loving family to adopt her, who will love her for the rest of her natural life, and make sure she has everything she needs, please email me @ [e-mail]....if this is something you are serious about...I appreciate you being honest about you and your wife's feelings. God Bless You, and I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 11

Has to be a joke. Adoption is NOT the answer. I don't care, no one, except for childs natural parents, is meant to raise anothers child!! God's plan is what God gave you! If he wanted that child to be with another family he would have naturally given them child. This post is a joke and the desperately seeking others babies are so quick to jump on it, like some sick wild animal pouncing his prey!!! All of you make me sick!!!! Are you really so.desperate to give a child, who only knows you, away on a yahoo board, and you sick adoptorapters, so desperate for a child that you pounce on such sickness? You all need help!! I feel sorry for any child that is, so, horribly a burden, that his parents would just be throw him away, like rotten meat, on the internet, to possible carnivores!!! Im.not sure.which is scarier, more Disgusting, the actual parents or the wanna be parents!! Just the thought, that you may actually become parents one day proves adoption to be the work of the devil!!!