Can I get some answers from a spiritual point a view?

Question

I asked a question about how do I continue to love my husband knowing he asked my daughter to have sex with him? I understand the answers of the other people,but I am spiritual and God knows all about it. I have put it in Gods hand. My life is totally in Gods hand and I have to hear from God Himself or through a true man or woman sent by God. God says in His word "vengence is mine".

Answer 1

It is hard to give you advice when you haven't given enough details. If she is young and living at home you should not allow her to be alone with him. Perhaps counseling is needed by all three of you and once that is complete you can make your decisions. Forgiveness at this stage is not a option.

Answer 2

Your first duty is to protect your daughter. When the head of the family fails, the authority to protect goes to the next in line, you. You will be held accountable by God for her safety. As far as your husband, the best thing you can do for him is turn him in to the authorities, pray for him, and get him into counsel ling(although it's been pretty well accepted that this kind of pervert never changes). As a matter of fact, I would find a reputable Christian counselor for the daughter and yourself. These things have long-lasting effects on victims, which both of you are, and need to be dealt with, not covered up. Turning your husband in is an act of love. Don't think you can change him, or believe it when he says he'll change. Neither of you can do it. If you really love him, you will support him in counsel ling and in jail, if need be. Otherwise, you're subjecting yourself and your daughter to a perverse life with a sick person in charge. That's never what God wants for anyone. Please get your daughter out of that situation now. I pray God will give you courage to do what you need to do.

Answer 3

The early Christians recognized that a complete ban on divorce was problematic for precisely these reasons. I hadn't thought of it before, but perhaps this is why Matthew's Gospel says that divorce is allowed in cases of sexual immorality (and not "adultery", which would have been a more natural way of referring to an affair of the usual sort). At any rate, there is nothing in the Bible that would require you to stay with this man, and much that would justify your taking drastic action to protect your daughter. If you think that you can persuade him to get counselling, that would probably be a good idea, lest he repeat this sort of thing in the future.

One more thing - don't sit around waiting for a divine revelation about what to do. If you do nothing, that is a choice and an action and you will be responsible for the consequences. There is plenty of indication about right and wrong, and there is nothing in the Bible suggesting that people should sit around waiting for a special sign before doing what is right!

Answer 4

Your love can be in a different way now, but without the unconditional trust, and that is sad when this happens. A sin of such magnitude is like a tidal wave to a tender heart, and so you will be seeking refuge and will find all in God now. Things will change and you will find things you could not see before and strength you did not know was there, and you will go on, but the love is changed and your daughter is your heart's priority now. When you are quiet, you will hear what needs to be done now.

Answer 5

What do you mean when you say, "I am spiritual?"
God's laws supersede man's laws, but most formal religions encourage their followers to follow the laws of the land.
Can we assume that your daughter is not his?

In which case, your husband is a predator!
Put him on notice that he has used up all the grace that you have. (He may find more with God, but heaven help you if you do not protect your daughter from this man.)
Is your daughter underage? If so, then he is a the very least guilty of unlawfully dealing with a minor, not to mention the disrespect he has shown to you.

By not holding your husband accountable to the civil law, you are stumbling your daughter, and teaching her that a parent should not intervene to protect their child. Is THAT what God teaches you?

Answer 6

I'm sorry you are not going to like my answer, but I am going to share it.

I don't understand how this makes sense to you. Your HUSBAND asked your DAUGHTER to have SEX with him, and you are leaving it in God's hands. Two thoughts:

1. You are using your faith as a reason to do nothing. Do you really think God wants you to stay in a relationship with someone who dishonors you and your daughter AND your marriage? Do you think God wants you to be a doormat?

2. Do you think it is okay to hide from the reality of this behind God? It is mind boggling that you can sit and type that you "put this in God's hands," and that "vengence" is God's. Do you think a strong woman of any faith should hide behind the pant leg of the God/dess she worships?

God's vengence, according to the Bible, will be laid on those who cannot defend themselves. You can defend yourself, but are choosing not to. Big difference. BIG difference.

Do you really think that you will be acting against your faith to stand up for yourself? To leave this relationship?

Or are you looking for an out - a way to stay with this man even tho your family and friends know he is a creep? If God handles it, you don't have to. Or are you looking for someone to blame if it doesn't go well for you?

Sorry, but Christians are not called to USE God to get them out of their messes.

You are responsible for your life - - even if you are a Christian.

Please, find a good Christian counselor in your area. You need to talk with a professional. You would not have posted a question like this if you didn't want someone to tell you the truth.

Answer 7

Your husband needs help and he needs to repent. The best way you can love him is to get him to a pastor who has wisdom and knows the power of God. At the very least, send him to a board certified psycho-therapist.

Is your daughter a minor, or an adult? If she is a minor then, under no circumstances should you leave him alone with your daughter.

Keep loving him with a "holy" love, but do not allow him to continue in that direction.

Answer 8

My spiritual point of view is that while "vengeance" is indeed Gods. Protecting your daughter is your first spiritual responsibility in this case.

Your husband needs to prove over a long period of seperation from your daughter that he can be trusted in the house.

You do not state that your daughter is his also. Or if she is grown. In any case, blindly following the "judge not, lest ye be judged" credo is a set up for continued and maybe escalated transgressions.

You can continue to love your husband, while making it mandatory that he provides solid proof that he deserves to reenter your life.

Answer 9

If you mean love as in the love you have for all your brothers and sisters in the human race, then I think forgiveness will come as time goes by.

If you mean love as in a wife loves her husband, I doubt that will ever return and I hope it doesn't. You need to divorce this man and don't let him be alone with your daughter. He obviously has a problem and you don't need this problem in your life. Please don't think that you have to be an oppressed woman stuck in a marriage with someone who has abused you and your daughter this way just to do "the Christian thing." God does not want you to be abused I am sure.

Answer 10

Proverbs 1:8, 30:11 and Ephesians 6:1-4 all give the mother the responsibility of teaching children of the union as well as the injunction on the children to obey and honour the mother and the father. Although the marriage might be in jeopardy due to infidelity, there are no escape clauses for the children in regards to their parents. However, 2 Timothy 3:1-5 does say not to have anything to do with people who are abusive etc. and perhaps especially if they claim to be devoted to God but prove false to its power. I think that these scriptures would need to be reconciled via continual prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and love (1 Corinthians 13) in regards to family members. Also, there is nothing against eating with nonbelievers (1 Corinthians 10:27-30) so long as they do not say that the food is sacrificed to idols, whereas eating with believers is forbidden if they are greedy or immoral etc. (1 Corinthians 5:11) Proverbs 29:20 is an excellent scripture. So is the entire of Proverbs 8 in regards to being a wise woman. Combining this with 1 Peter 3:1-6 though, might mean reserving this appeal to knowledge and discernment to those other than your husband. Matthew 5:39 says not to resist an evil person, but to turn the other cheek. Combined with prayer, this works. The fact that there is no such physical place as safety in this world is attested to in Psalm 4:8 - "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety." Attackers, in my experience, seem to respond to body heat which rises with struggle, although this isn't a sufficient reason to justify the scripture, as it is a moral principle.

James 1:14 and Galatians 5:24 talk about not giving in to epithumia (desires) which means "turning about sudden periods of rage or passion that are maddening like wine." In this world that runs by means of mythology (1 Timothy 1:3, 4; 2 Timothy 4:3-5), you only know as much as you need to for the present (is this why money is called "currency"?). Any retelling of the past by "many teachers" is for the purpose of positioning people for right spiritual action in this life or the next, according to Karen Armstrong in "A Short History of Myth." Anger comes from a root "enge" or something like that, which means "narrow or painful." In contrast, Psalms 37 says not to fret over the wicked as it only leads to evil. It says to commit your way to the Lord and he will make the justice of your cause shine like the noonday sun. 2 Timothy 4:5 and 1 Peter 4:7-10 show the necessity of staying active, though, in evangelising, praying, showing love to others, especially other Christians, showing hospitality and using God's grace to minister to others. The duties of a capable wife are in Proverbs 31. Work with your hands, not your imagination. It's good for you, and it will keep you from letting your own righteousness go to your head.

Answer 11

There is no real spiritual advice to give you. If your husband came on to your daughter then that's incest which is a really big no-no. Going on yahoo answers is not exactly putting the situation into God's hands. If i was in your shoes, i'd leave your husband.