My husband is a self employed electrician and he is very busy. When we do have an hour or two at night to be together we are concentrating on kids or cleaning up. I just had my second baby three weeks ago and we also have a two year old. I want some affection SO BAD. It just seems like it isnt a priority to him. We both are busy but shouldnt he try a little? I have approached the subject but with no results. I guess I want him to show a little interest. Me complaining about it isnt sexy. Did you go through this after you had a baby?
2007-06-13 11:45:26 · 10 answers · asked by adrixia 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes, I did. I had my second baby a year ago, and he seemed very busy right aferwards. I just had to be firm with my husband and let him know my needs. If he didn't respond, I'd go nuts on him until he finally understood what I needed from him. The time right after having a baby is very crucial for mommies because they feel fat and ugly. Your husband should understand how your feeling and let you know that he still thinks your beautiful, but you also need to let him know that you need that from him. He's not a mind reader, as much as we would like them to be!! Good Luck!
2007-06-13 11:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely had that problem, especially after the twins were born. I was stuck at home with no adult conversation. All I wanted was to talk to him, but he would tune me out and pick up the paper. As time went on, the only time he would give me even a peck of a kiss was when he wanted the whole shebang, and I wanted a hug once in a while. He didn't realize that foreplay begins at breakfast.
That was 30 years ago and now our love life is the best it's ever been. I know that's not much help to you now. Can you find a neighbor or friend to take the kids for an evening so you can have some one-to-one time? If he won't put his arm around you, take the arm, lift it, and duck under, wrapping it around yourself. Hug him and tell him you love him and appreciate the way he works to provide for the family. Believe me, he'll respond.
Good luck. Things will get better.
2007-06-13 18:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It works the other way too. More often than not husbands get pushed aside somewhat as all the concern and attention rightly goes to the baby and mama's healing. Either way it's a normal growing pain, and it challenges couples to be creative in re-connecting after the baby's arrival. You should communicate this in as non-threatening a manner as possible. You may be surprised to discover he's feeling much the same way...but nobly keeping quiet about it. Good luck to you, and congratulations.
2007-06-13 19:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its something that men fail to understand that we need attention. You might want to sit and talk to him about what you are needing and see how that goes, dont do like me and just think the situation is going to resolve he is going to come around and almost four years later I am wondering why am I still here. So take action, not in a nagging way but open up and let him know how you feel. You might want to do it in a romantic setting and present it to him. I hope things get back great for you.
2007-06-16 13:16:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sry i can't help....but dear lord i hope not!! I def need attention and im expecting. If i had to try and help tho, put on somethin sexy for him, make him pay attention to you. Maybe get a family member to watch ur kids, im sure they would just love that w/ the new baby in all.
2007-06-13 18:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by AimmeLayne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't go through this but I am very sorry that you are. You know what I have found in men... whether they are tired or "not in the mood" so to speak if you fondle (sp) for long enough they will not say no. Be persistent in when you are horny or don't even say anything at all... just start messing with his package... I guarantee if you do it long enough he wont say no. As for him being the aggressor I don't know to do that but at least in the end you get what you want. RIGHT??? Good luck. Get some lingerie, things like that even.
2007-06-13 18:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know if all women get it but i know my baby is almost 8 months and well i still have to make him pay attention to me. i hate it but your man has a reason mine dont even work yet. im the one working and all i want is some tlc. time for me and do i get it NO
sorry about that its been cooped inside for sometime so thats my story about that situation
i still really dont know what to do about it but i try and keep trying over and over again so *sighs* its tuff having children
2007-06-13 20:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk to him about it. That's the last thing he can fit into his brain. Be the initiator and he will reciprocate. He's just overwhelmed with the new baby.
2007-06-13 18:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your having to complain to your DH.
That is just not right. I would ignore him, stop doing
things for him. It will wake him up. No dinner, no
clean clothes. He will ask you what's going on soon
enough.
2007-06-13 18:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by Ontario_Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try wearing something sexy at night to grab his attention
2007-06-14 02:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by Lilshorty69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋