How am I a deadbeat?

Question

When my son was born, his mother made it very difficult for me to come see him. She was always trying to start trouble or a fight. It was to the point where I couldn't stand being around her and her childishness So I gave up. My son is 2 and haven't seen or heard from him in almost a year now. Now she's going around telling everyone how much of a deadbeat I am even though I always pay child support. Why would I want to visit the baby when I would have to deal with her?

Answer 1

You can arrange with her to see the child in a nuetral location;ie- your mom's house, her mom's house with out her being there. If she gives you any drama about that then go back to the Court or the local Child support agency and request for visitation rights.

If you don't have the resources there is an organization that helps father's with child custody & visitation issues: called - "My Child Says Daddy".
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You can check out their website for more information: www.mychildsaysdaddy.org

• My Child Says Daddy has established a liaison with the Department of Children Services in an effort to reunite missing fathers with their children.

• Parental Legal Rights a service provided to educate parents on how to effectively deal with our legal system as it pertains to their children. Emphasis is placed on bringing the various agencies and parents together in a non-threatening environment.
Topics include:
Understanding the Courts
Choosing the Right Attorney
The D.A.’s Office
Your Legal Responsibility
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Good luck and you are taking the right steps.......

Answer 2

She sounds like a very bitter woman. You should have been more careful who you chose for the mother of your son. Now he is stuck with her. You are not a deadbeat if you are paying child support. She is simply trying to make you look bad in front of friends and relatives. You should try to see the little boy because otherwise you will not ever have a relationship with him. Don't take it out on him that he has a crummy mother. That shouldn't prevent you from spending time with him. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but the fact that you and your son's mom can't get along is a poor excuse for not spending time with your son. Your son didn't ask to be born, and he has nothing to do with the disagreements between you and his mom. Women come and go, but your kids will always be around. I would suggest going to a lawyer or mediator and draw up rules for visiting rights. You are paying child support, so that will be in your favor when negotiating visits.

Answer 4

if you pay child support then your not a deadbeat dad at all and she has no right to say that either. it sounds like she's being a b.... and she just wants people to listen to her complain about you. as long as you know the truth then you shouldn't worry about it. they say what goes around comes around so she'll get hers. and to be honest just because she's a b.... doesn't mean you shouldn't see your son at all. it's not his fault his mother is like this. and you really don't have to visit him with her around either. and if you have been paying child support then you have rights to him too. you can take him for a few days or longer if you went without his mother around. all you have to do is go to the court and tell them that you went to visit your son without his mother around. you should never but your son in the middle of this between you and your ex. it sounds like that's what she wants to do. a child needs his father so don't give up on your son just because of his mother that's not fair to him and in the long run he will hate you for it later on. so try and see your son without his mother around.

Answer 5

tak eher to court and tell them the situation and they will and can make it to where you pick up the child some where else and drop the child off some where else , or a social worker friend etc can pick the child up and you drop the child off with them , just because u pay child support dont meant that one is not a dead beat , it takes more than money and items to raise a child , but from what u wrote u try to see your son i comend u on this , atleast u try , some men dont try and some women dont try either , but go to court and let them know how she treats u in front of your son who knows u might get lucky and the judge may give u physical custody

Answer 6

Why are you having the child pay the price for his mothers actions? Your upset that you are paying the price for her actions (telling people you won't see your son when really its her)
That is your son and you should do what ever it takes to see him even if that means dealing with her. As he grows he will beable to form an opinon of his father, if he knows you come and see him even having to deal with mom, he will love you for it, if he knows you gave up because you didn't want to deal with her, he will believe you just didn't care enough about him.
I wouldn't call you a dead beat dad yet......unless you just write your son off. Just because you pay the money doesn't mean your being a good father.

Answer 7

"Deadbeat" means that there's no heartbeat, or life, from a father. You may be supporting your son financially, but you are not being a father to him if you don't have any sort of contact or relationship with him.

You sound resentful towards your ex and to be a true father you have to get past any crap she may have pulled in the past, present or future. What are you going to say to your son when he is older and asks why you never spent time with him or loved him--"son, it's cause your mom is a bit*ch" has never gone over well.

Answer 8

Unfotunately for you she will always be his mother and therefore you will always have a relationship with her. I am so sorry she is making this difficult for you because although you are hurting it is your son who will suffer the most.

Do not worry about what she is telling people, after awhile the rumors will fade as people get real tired of hearing an ex bad mouth a former lover, expecially when there is a child involved.

Keep up your relationship with your son. That is something special. He deserves you in his life and you deserve him!

Answer 9

It's simple, YOUR SON NEEDS YOU. No matter how much you hate being around his mom, your feelings DO NOT matter. You chose to make her the mother of your child, he had no choice in the matter. I know from both sides of the coin the impact it has on a child when 1 parent is not involved in their kids life's. Bite your tongue, think all the nasty thoughts to yourself, and GO SEE YOUR SON.

Answer 10

Because the child is your son. You pay child support, then go to court and tell them that you want to see your child, without having to deal with her demeaning comments. Be a father, he needs an adult in his life.