My ex-girlfriend says our problems would have been not so difficult only if I had ...?

Question

My ex-girlfriend says our problems would have been not so difficult only if I had sex with her more often and (this is getting really explicit) if I had 'finished' inside of her. She says that she never felt a connection between us because we did not do that.

Here are some quick details ... we went from being great friends to an intimate relationship and within a couple of weeks of being that way we had sex.

We always used condoms for protection. I was being very careful - we both had not been STD tested (although I knew her well enough that I did not suspect anything). I also was a bit afraid of pregnancy.

We also had some social issues outside of intimacy that we could not resolve.

So for me I felt that after making long and sweet love with her and 'finishing' inside of her was so emotional to me that it was pointless to do that because we could not fix our 'social' problems. So we just made love and I would not finish inside of her.

We recently broke up...

And now she is beginning to date someone else. I asked her about the social issues and she said that she won't hold the new guy to those social restrictions.

I was very upset. I felt like I was cheated.

She went on to say that had I been completely intimate with her, perhaps those social issues would not be a problem and that we still would have been together.

I am a respectful person and I never wanted to use her for sex. I really is/was in love with her.

But now she tells me teasingly that I was "so careful" or so "appropriate" with her that it was like a "friend" thing. She is not being malicious, but just teasing me.

I feel really unfaired here, and I want to know whether women value things like that so much that they would do what has been done to me.

I really respect this girl and that is why I felt over and over again that if we can't resolve our issues, I am just having sex with her and not making love to her.

She said she loved me so much that she wanted to feel every bit of me with her. I believe her because we tried several times to overcome our social issues but we never could.

Anyone else would have walked away.

She was not trying to get pregnant. She insisted on using a condom and she just wanted to feel me inside her when I finished.

Answer 1

Honestly, it sounds to me like she just wanted to get pregnant. Intimacy in itself should be that amazing connection between the two of you (of course it's not the only way). Good for you for being very careful, shame on her for being so shallow.

Answer 2

It is just her and not you.

You are a wonderful person and you deserve a better person than her. You were only thinking about her and protecting you and her from pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with that!

It is very hard to find a wonderful man like you and this ex does not deserve you!

She sounds like she was totally ungrateful to you through the whole relationship, and things happen for a reason.

So, get back out there, smile and totally be thankful that you do not have her in your life anymore!!!

Another woman, better woman is waiting out there, you just have to find her!

Answer 3

sometimes it just isnt meant to be. and this sounds like your case. when it isnt meant to be, some people are in a baffling stage, like your ex, because they will not accept these feelings of break ups. so they begin to question and instead of letting go, they blame the other party or sometimes themselves for the break up reasons.

I say let it go. it was not anyones fault. and it isnt all about sex. she sounds like she may have other issues going on but that is her problem not yours. live one day at a time and dont trip on her comments. otherwise you two will be playing a game.

Answer 4

She is trying to put all the blame on you when things didnt work out. Sex is only a small part of a real relationship...meaning if other things were good, petty sex details wouldn't be an issue.

But her behind you and don't worry about her dumb excuses.

Answer 5

You did the right thing....especially if she wasnt on the pill. Sounds like she is trying to blame her social inferiorities on you not blowing a load inside her. Tell her that if she wanted you to finish inside her then she should have offered her mouth as a finish line!

Answer 6

What a stupid thing she said. Don't read into it so much. Just move on and be grateful she is gone. I wish there were more men out there that view sex like you. You are a really sweet guy.

Answer 7

in the experience that your severe approximately getting her returned and extremely staying together with her, you may refer to her and tell her the way you experience. tell her you think of approximately her with different human beings, and which you need yet another danger. while issues like that pop up in a relationship, you communicate approximately it, no longer up and pass away the guy. All you had to do grew to become into in basic terms tell her you like greater kisses, or made the pass your self, she grew to become into in all likelihood waiting on that. If she would not prefer you returned, settle for the actuality and pass on. The discomfort will fade. And sure, it is in all likelihood your very first love. good success.

Answer 8

That may have been her expectation, but as such it is an unrealistic one and hardly seems worthy of a breakup in and of itself. (Note: FYI, where STDs are concerned, it's the ones you don't suspect that'll bite you everytime. Keep to the raincoat policy!) Good luck to you.

Answer 9

dude, if she only wanted to date u for sex, then she doesnt deserve u man. u need a girl whod like u becuz of u, not cuz she wants sex!i think u should move on, no matter how hard it may be for u.

Answer 10

Hey man, no one is worth going against what you feel is right because they want something so bad. And I know you dont want to hear this, but she has to know what that feels like if thats what she wants, and maybe she was feeling that with someone already.....