I'm due to have my first baby in Aug. ( I do have two step children ages 11, and 12 ) Me and my husband let him come and stay with us before I knew I was expecting. He's driving me crazy, not working, and thinks we should thank him every time he does anything like the dishes. I know he doesn't have anywhere else to go, but I don't know how much longer I'm going to have my own sanity. How do I tell him to leave without being a jerk? I have taken him to try to get him jobs, but he loses them usally in about a week. He's completly hopeless (AND NOT RELATED)
2007-06-13 08:26:02 · 17 answers · asked by Amanda_David 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, and did I mention that I'm the one who workes, my husband stays home, to care for the kids. So I guess the roommate thinks he can stay home too. (( must be nice ))
2007-06-13 08:34:58 · update #1
My husband agrees that it's time, but we don't know how to ask him to leave without causing a problem.
2007-06-13 08:50:15 · update #2
I would say that you need to sit him down and explain to him that with the new baby coming you and your family would like to have some privacy. Tell him you appreciate what he does around the house, but it does not pay the bills. He will have to find somewhere else to live before the baby comes. That I think would hopefully push him to find a job, or atleast someone else to mooch off of.
Besides, you will be starting to "nest" soon. Nothing makes that harder than having to work around an unwanted guest. And I don't know if you plan on breastfeeding or not, but if you are, I certainly wouldn't want to plan on covering myself with a blanket every time in my own house! And what if he complains about the baby waking him in the middle of the night? That, combined with the lack of sleep would push me over the edge! If he can't get a clue with you being nice about it, put your foot down and tell him to get the f**** out!
2007-06-13 08:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jefferson said that house guests and fish go bad after 3 days.
That said, your first mistake was taking Moocher in for more than a weekend.
And it's your house, your family, your bills and you're not being a jerk, nag, female dog, or anything negative when you say you need your privacy and peace.
Now, while this is driving YOU nuts, you don't say what it's doing to your husband. Is he going bonkers over this man's laziness too? Let's hope so as it will make things easier.
That said, talk to a lawyer familiar in housing laws in your area. This guy may be a squatter but he has rights. Perverse thinking, but he does have rights since you've tolerated this for so long. Check with a lawyer to see what you need to do to get this moocher out of your house legally.
You may have to have him served with eviction papers by the sheriff. That's OK. Indeed, that alone could give him enough of a reason to get off his butt and move - or at least get a job.
But check with a lawyer first - best $$$ you'll ever spend.
2007-06-13 08:46:26 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time is NOW, and don't feel like a jerk. It sounds like you are doing more than your share. If he can't hold a job it is because he doesn't have to ,he has you . Your husband doesn't work either??? I don't know the reason but if its by choice and not a physical thing, I would like to know if you have ever thought of adopting. You could call me. I might enjoy a free ride for a while. I have supported my wife and 8 kids alone for 40 years.Some times I had to work 2 jobs to keep things going.But my wife never had to work. It sounds to me like you surround yourself with the wrong type of (man?)How come your husband hasn't tossed the freeloader out.? Have they got something going? Maybe I shouldn't say that. I don't have all the facts, but something is surely wrong!!!!!
2007-06-13 09:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by on my own again 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to sit him down, and tell him that you cant help him any more, you did it long enough, he not helping his self. You need him to get a job then his own place. You cant afford to take care of him and your family. Give him a date to move out. He will see that you are serious. He knows he should be working, some people just take advantage of others when they can. its more then doing dishes. Good Luck
2007-06-18 06:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as possible!
If you are going to be having a baby in August, you certainly don't want to be dealing with him at the same time, so just tell him you need the space/room for the baby.
Helping someone out is a couple of weeks while they get on their feet, but this guy is just taking advantage of you and your husband now.
Good luck!
2007-06-13 08:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over w/ your husband. Explained to him you are needing your family and to enjoy it, is to have no one else in the house hold. You want to be yourself. Also your going to have a BABY!!! You don't need to support anyone else!!!
And then both of you go to him because if only 1 does he may think he still has someone beside him. And he would want to still stay!!
Good luck
PS DON'T THANK THE GUY ANYMORE, LET HIM FEEL THE NEGATIVE VIBE!!!
2007-06-13 08:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by ~♥ Hazey Pazey ♥~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the house is just to small for all of you and he to get his sh*t together and get out. The man is a mooch. People like that really tick me off. If he can't get a job and place to live he needs to go to a shelter or pitch a tent on the beach or something
2007-06-13 08:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww hell no! You are already being nice by letting him stay there. And you're expecting???? Tell him to get his sh*t and get the hell out. You have enough kids in that house, and you're about to have another one. He is too grown for that. And how rude of him to stay there and not even hold his own. Kick his free loading *** out! Oh and good luck with the new baby! :~)
2007-06-13 08:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by HoneyB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right time is about a week after they arrived.. Get rid now, just say you are going to need the space with the baby coming, cannot afford to keep paying out and nothing in return... And if it is going bad, just say... ''Oh! and i dont like you very much, sorry!''
2007-06-13 08:31:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very simple you both sit down with him and explain your family has grown and you cannot afford another mouth to feed. He has lived long enought at your place its time for him to get a job and a place of his own and set a timeframe for him to leave no its or butts about it. You both need to put your foot down or he will continue to be a free loader in your home. Give him the boot..
2007-06-13 09:20:09 · answer #10 · answered by beliz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋