My girlfriend and I just have too much pride. We never swallow it. If I don't call her, she doesn't call me. If she doesn't call me I don't call her. We hold back on saying what we really feel towards each other because we don't want to appear "needy". We don't want to show that we "need" each each other.
When I sign on the messenger I expect her to instant message me. I could go for hours waiting for her greeting. When she signs on she does the same thing, wait for my greeting. Sometimes we don't even greet one another.
And it's just getting old I'm getting tired of it. 1 year together. I just need a break for a day or 2 or 3.
Any advice on how to solve this issue?
Thanks ...
2007-06-13 08:24:08 · 23 answers · asked by BerlingBurg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can promise you that a simple hey how you doing ^^ isn't going to appear as needy. Think about this, do you not say hi to your friends because they'll think you're "needy?" Most likely not, you just walk up and say, hey guys what's up?
Really the same thing applies here, Imagine in a sense that it's just a friend (Mind you she should be your BEST friend) but just say hey how's it going ^^ and then just leave it alone. I promise you that in time if you're willing to just say hi to her, she'll start to recpricate the feeling and she'll message you first. Remember that say hi to someone is just that...hi ^^ it's not, I NEED YOU!!! It's just hi ^^
Understand that this isn't going to solve everything but believe me it's a start on a good path. One step at a time. Start with this and work your way through :)
2007-06-13 08:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by MetaSigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of these games you're playing with each other! How do you really feel about each other? DO you really need each other, or have you just both gotten used to these passive-aggressive games you play? If you really care about her, tell her...(damn how you might "appear"). If not, let it go. It's not healthy, and it's learning some destructive habits early on that may be hard to break in later life. Life's too short to waste time clowning around with emotions. By your own admission you're already tired of it. Imagine how you'll feel after another year of the same type of behavior?
2007-06-13 08:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breathe!
Now take a big step. Be a man! It was once common for men, or guys to call the women or lady, It was once common that men picked up their dates at the door and not at the curb, unless it was a cement queen.....It was once common for men to show an extream amount of shivlery towards the lady they so much loved.
So it's not that you are pridefull. It's that you weren't taught pride, in being a man. This isn't pride. She's waiting for you to call, she's being a proper lady. She's waiting for you to message her.
So be the first to take the step and call her, im her, what ever, but be a gentleman and do it first.
I would truely have much more respect for someone who did that then what you two are doing
2007-06-13 08:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop it.
Let me put it to you this way, would you rather have a person that IS needy? If thats a yes then that is something you need to work out.
Now, you can just SUCK UP your pride and IM her, really, its not a big deal. Or, you can sit down and compromise with her.
have you told her thta you would like her to call you, or did you just assume that she doesnt want to be needy? Maybe shes just giving you space, or maybe, you could just call her. Try and be flexible.
2007-06-13 08:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by scoobaSteve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is how my relationship is.. i have the same problem.. i try to be the "bigger" person and talk to him.. just yesterday i had a problem like that he didnt call me so i didnt call him all day. but i just gave in.. i thought about it and how its really going no where doing so. I think if it happens again you should talk to her etc. it will be easier! its actually harder on ur self if your going to be stubborn. i learned the hard way and waited all day worrying if he will call.. just go for it and talk to her and tell her how you feel and how it upsets u.
2007-06-13 08:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im like that, i never like 2 appear needy. what you could do is swallow your pride, usually the guy has to give in 2 tha girl. do it only if you really like this girl. good luck!
2007-06-13 08:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by Dark Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...the answer is be the better person, greet her if you see her on-line. if she doesnt call you and you want to speak to her call her. be the leader and show her how you want it to be..sometimes it's ok to swallow your pride. the games are for kids. if you love her you'll make sacrafices. I know where ur coming from, me and my BF use to be the same way.
2007-06-13 08:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys truely care for each other put down the pride!!!!!! Talk to her about it. It's not about being needy... you guys are a couple, be a normal couple!
2007-06-13 08:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by 0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....i have one advice to give...talk to her about it, communicate...thats the best thing you can do...seriously....even if it totally wreaks your pride, you're gonna have to do it sooner or later, if not you both wont get anywhere....the best thing is to communicate, talk things through and try to work out, try it, you'll see, its a dirty job but someone has to do it....and you as the man in the relationship should step up, at least thats what i think! its not only the best thing to do, but its also maturity....
2007-06-13 08:31:00 · answer #9 · answered by M S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you need a break from? According to you, neither one of you really talks to each other.
2007-06-13 08:27:07 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋