First of all I'm 25, so I'm not looking for high school type answers.
We've only been on a couple dates, but he seems to be moving fast. He is making it very obvious he thinks things are going great. He is an AMAZING guy, almost everything I would look for in my future husband. But it's just not meant to be. I am horrible at expressing myself and definately don't want to insult him or hurt his feelings. In the past I've had the habit of just avoiding the guy in similar situations, but this time I can't (mutual friends and I'll be seeing him around). Plus I know I need to actually face it.
We're going to lunch tomorrow. Should I talk to him then or give him a heads up BEFORE what he thinks would be a date ? And what is a good way of breaking it to him?
2007-06-13 08:20:07 · 14 answers · asked by Miss K 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I should mention 2 things:
1. He is a good Christian guy who isn't looking to get laid. I am 100% sure of this.
2. Serious relationships don't scare me. I view dating as searching for you're future spouse...If there were chemistry, I would be excited about getting to know him more!
2007-06-13 08:34:41 · update #1
Just tell him at lunch that although he is a great guy you just don't feel the chemistry you had hoped and wish him well then be quite and see what develops. Most likely he will be fine and you both can move on if he is hurt and pouty just leave and let him deal. Good Luck!
2007-06-13 08:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being direct is the way I think you should go. Don't send mixed messages and continue the charade. You seem overly concerned about hurting his feelings or insulting him. He may not be as well intentioned as you assume. He's moving fast for a reason. Chances are good that he has a certain m.o.--it could be that he moves in fast to ensure he gets laid before he gets dumped. There's no right or wrong way to express how he feels. Start by telling him that you feel he deserves your honesty and that although he has alot going for him you don't see the two of you becoming a couple. He'll probably try to persuade you to give it more time, so you'll need to be prepared to stand your ground. You don't come across in your question as necessarily assertive, so you need to prepare in advance how you'll counter his argument. Be firm, and don't change your position, or you'll never bring it off. good luck
2007-06-13 15:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call him if you had more dates together in person would be better but that said... let him know how touched you are of his feelings for you but you arent ready for a serious relationship at this time and want to give yourself an opportunity to date other people out there.
Im guessing but if he has all the qualities you look for maybe you are a little scared or apprehensive at this point because your not looking for a serious relationship. Ask yourself is it just because hes moving to fast or is there anything else that is making you feel this away...someone else?
2007-06-13 15:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by GA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i was in something exactly like this except i was on the guys side..you NEED to tell him, dont leave him hanging..thats what the girl did to me and it caused a lot of stress and pain on me..call him beforehand and say we need to talk, we'll do so at lunch tomarrow..then he will know something is up and wont expect it to be a date..then just tell him things are moving too fast but you would like to remain friends and see where things go from there
sorry im in high school
2007-06-13 15:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I was in his situation, I would just want you to tell me the truth. I wouldn't want the person I love to feel obligated to be with me just because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. The sooner you let him go, the faster he can recover and find someone else. Just tell him the truth, "Hey look, you're a great guy, but I think we're better off remaining as friends, you're just not my type." Good luck.
2007-06-13 15:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him you think of him as only a friend, he is obviously interested in you. You should let him know as soon as possible, because you don't want to lead him on. And then you'll really break his heart as more time goes by. Right now he can cut his losses, the nicest way to do it, is right away.
2007-06-13 15:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your an adult..just be up front an honest with him.. at lunch tell him it's just lunch not a date, you've had a good time but your moving on.
2007-06-13 15:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him in an honest way. Tell him you think he is a great guy but your just not ready. You know you are the one who is missing out, but you wish him the best.
2007-06-13 15:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by LAYLA R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you think he is a great guy and someday he will meet the right woman who will appreciate it. Its just that you aren't that woman. You just don't feel the spark and chemistry between you two.
2007-06-13 15:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by Sean B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is amazing, what is the problem? just tell him you think things need to slow down a bit.
2007-06-13 15:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by Jen_n_TX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋