So, you invited your daughter to go on a trip with you and your 3 other daughters, while your husband and son stayed home. You asked her a couple months in advance to go tubing with you for 3 days in a town about 5 hours away. She took all three days off, but a little less than a week before the trip, you decided to stay for longer and go out of state too. She was supposed to ride up with you, but since you were staying longer, she would have to ride back with some of your friends, who she didn't know that well. She called you the next day, saying she was just gonna drive up on her own, then. Plus, she could stop and see her boyfriend who lives about an hour away, since he is on the same path to get to the tubing place. She was still gonna get there the same time as you and head home the same time you left for out of state, but she wouldn't drive up with you. How would you feel? How would you react to your daughter?
2007-06-13 08:06:54 · 8 answers · asked by joshuarenae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is almost 19, just finished her first year of college, lives in the same town as you, but has her own apartment since neither one of you thought it would be best if she lived at home. She still sees the family at least once a week, but last summer she had a different boyfriend, and you felt like she spent more time with him and other friends than the family. She actually got engaged to that one, transfered schools back home for him to plan a wedding, then he broke up with her, and now she has a new boyfriend and you're afraid she's gonna do the same thing.
2007-06-13 08:12:56 · update #1
As our children grow up we have to learn how to let go. Sometimes it can be very difficult, expecially when we're scared they're going to make mistakes. But that's part of growing up. You need to trust that the things you taught her are going to help her. Just thank God that she still visits you and wants to go on the trip with you - especially at this age.
2007-06-13 08:25:36 · answer #1 · answered by J C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who changed the plans.
You're daughter is 19. At that age she can drive up by herself if she wants. I would feel much better driving on My own then I would if i had to ride with strangers on the way back. She is still going to spend 3 days with you on vacation. It is not as if she completely abandoned you. It sounds like you are trying to control the situation a bit too much here. Just because you do not ride in the same car does not mean that she does not want to be with you, and it does not mean any treasured moments will be missed. It is just a car ride.
Let her drive on her own. It is no big deal. You changed plans on her so she is just adjusting hers accordingly. She is an adult now and can make those decisions.... and should be encouraged to.
2007-06-13 08:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by scottishduffy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK OK OK.
You changed your plans at the last minute and expected her to bend to your whims? That's not nice. People have jobs and commitments. That's really not nice.
And then you expected her to ride 5hours back home with people she didn't know well? That's not nice either. That's a long time to be around strangers - so that's really really not nice.
so what was supposed to be a family trip - a chance for you all to get caught up on each other - turned into a big jam session all because you changed your plans at the last minute. Wow. Gosh. I can't say that's nice.
I think she was being sensible driving herself up to the river. Especially since she could stop and see her friend on the way back.
2007-06-13 08:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is still going on the trip. Why should you be bothered if she wants to drive herself and visit her boyfriend instead of riding home with people she doesn't know very well? You are the one who changed the plans at the last minute. I don't see why you should be upset. Just enjoy the three days with your daughters and stop trying to be in control of everyone.
2007-06-13 08:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mom: time to cut the cord Mom......eventually your daughter is going to marry a man and create her own family, which should be her first priority above and beyond the one she's a part of with you. She's totally NOT bailing on the trip, she's going for the time she said she would go, she's just not traveling with your friends. Sounds like Mom has a control issue and needs to let her daughter grow up and feel good about her decision making abilities. Does daughter struggle with decision making??? Wonder why.
2007-06-13 08:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the one who changed the plans for the trip. Now she is choosing to do something that she is more comfortable with than carpooling with Mom's buddies. You really can't fault her for this. And from a 19 year old's perspective - why not take the opportunity to visit the boyfriend, too. You can't expect her to just go along with your plans as they change. Whenter you like it or not, she is technically an adult...and she is still going as invited!
2007-06-17 15:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is an adult now and she is still coming for the trip, so why fret? She is free to make her own decisions AND mistakes so let her learn by them. That is her job now, not yours. If she did not want to spend time with you, she wouldn't come for the trip at all.
2007-06-13 08:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go she is an adult and has plans of her owne
2007-06-17 16:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋