bridesilla?

Question

why is it a big deal for guys to have strippers at a bachelor party why does it bother the bride to be so damn much?

Answer 1

It doesn't matter to me, as long as the groom isnt going to have a problem with the bride doing the exact same things at her bachelorette party. That is something many grooms do not think about. Would it be ok for the bride to do the same things? No? Ok...then don't do it.

Answer 2

I don't think it's a big deal if I can trust the guy. I know my man and what he thinks of strippers (trashy)....

I can't speak for every girl though. What I can say is that some people have a problem with the person they are going to marry seeing some hoochie-girl butt-naked.

Would you want your to-be bride getting rubbed on by some greasy naked dude? Probably would not "want" that. You might tolerate it though.

I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he gets to have strippers then so should the bride.

Answer 3

Well, I think it has something to do with the fact that enjoying someone dancing for or on you, naked, seems a little like cheating to many women.

It also is a behavior COMPLETELY opposite of how a person in a loving, caring, respectful, FAITHFUL relationship would behave. Basically, you're telling the woman you intend to spend the rest of your life with "I'm gonna go enjoy another woman one more time before I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life." Plus, if you do it even though she's hurt by it, you're telling her that you really could care less if your actions hurt her. Two things REALLY not appreciated when you're trying to start a good, healthy, happy marriage.

What I don't get is, if the bachelor party is basically a "one more night" kind of thing, a final farewell to the single life you've enjoyed, why do many men have bachelor parties with a stripper when they've never before seen/hired/visited strippers?

BTW, an engaged woman who does not care for the idea of her future husband pseudo-cheating on her with some skank who takes her clothes off for money is not the definition of "bridesilla"

Answer 4

If you are getting married being with a stripper should be the last thing on your mind. At this point you should be done with all that. The real question is why do you need to have a stripper at a bachelor party if you found the one you want to spend your life with? Your getting married not being buried. If you need the stripper maybe your not ready for marriage.

Answer 5

It bothers them because essentially it is temptation. Temptation for you to lust after this woman, kiss her, touch her, sleep with her.

If you truly love the woman you are marrying, why would you want to introduce this temptation to your relationship on purpose? There will be plenty of temptations that come along over the course of your marriage; do you really want them to begin your commitment this way?

Why do you need to even look at another woman when you are binding yourself to her? Is she not enough?

These are the things the bride is thinking, and with good reason. Marriages break up everyday over sex. If your marriage and/or sex life includes someone other than the two of you, that is cheating, plain and simple.

I think your question is a good one: Why IS it such a BIG deal for YOU GUYS to have a stripper? Why do you need or want her there? Ask yourself that and then decide if you truly respect your fiance's wishes about it.

Answer 6

I totaly agree with vle045. I wouldn't like to stand next to a man who's been slobbered by some "HO" the night before. That only means he doesn't respect his bride to be or his relationship with her. On the other hand I have to also agree with Kat and Pink Denial. Some brides don't have a problem with it, as long as they get a stripper too. If the groom doesn't like it, well then don't have strippers in both parties. Just don't try to lie about it cus the truth always comes out.

Answer 7

Personally, I think it's a bit ridiculous to have strippers at the bachelor party anyway, but if that's what you want to do, have at it. If she has a huge issue with it, I'm guessing that you've done something to make her mistrust you, or she's paranoid for no reason, either of which will cause problems later on.

Answer 8

It isn't a big deal to all brides. But if it is a big deal to a certain bride, then there shouldn't be strippers. Bottom line is that you can't begin a marriage with a foundation of honesty and respect if the groom starts off with disrespecting her values and wishes and lies about it.

Answer 9

It isn't strippers at a bachelor party - it's strippers in general. It's demeaning and degrading - to women - and to men as well; reducing them to pleasure objects as opposed to people.

And because women are only just now getting out from under the whole "chattel" thing - after thousands of years of male dominance, it still hurts - a lot - to see your future spouse act in such an archaic and degrading way - and it hurts even more when the man thinks it's OK.

If you respect your fiance, don't have the stripper.

This goes for women on their hen nights as well.

Answer 10

If a guy says that it's his "last chance of freedom" as an excuse, it would probably cause anyone to wonder. Marriage isn't a prison sentence (I can see 100s of you scoffing right now). THAT said, if a husband-to-be never said "it's my last chance at freedom" and just wants to have a good time with his buddies, I don' t see a problem. All you need is trust. The bride is bothered because she doesn't trust her man (and most brides who are bothered by this usually have a reason not to trust them: ie. they have cheated before) Also....religion might play a role. If she is really religious...good luck.