I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years but he still doesn't want to get married. Should I be worried?
2007-06-13 06:21:20 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nobody can really answer this question as it is all about you and your boyfriend. All I can say is I know how you feel, I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years too and have just ended it. It was going nowhere. I loved him, he loved me but the distance was too much (plus no sign of marriage and time is moving on!) It was scary to be on my own again after all that time cos long distance or not 5 years in a relationship is a long time. Why doesn't he want to get married? Is it just for now or does he never want to commit? These are the important questions you have to ask yourself. It's not easy but really think about what is best for YOU. Being single ain't too bad (for now anyway!) All the best!
2007-06-13 10:21:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do you expect to be married long distance? 5 years is a long time to be with the same person, but if you are serious about getting married then talk to him about the next steps. First go for living together for a bit before jumping into marriage. Or if you are against living together before marriage, then at least live in the same town or close by. Marriage is a huge commitment and you should make sure that you can still have this relationship when you see each other daily. Best of luck.
2007-06-13 06:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, two things, one is, if his wife knows about you and SHE hasn't asked for a divorce, there's something wrong with her. Second, how do you like being a kept woman/mistress? If you enjoy it, then by all means, keep going on the way you are. If you love somebody, you don't want to share yourself or them with ANYONE else. I've been married and separated and gotten into a relationship before. When things started getting serious, I filed for divorce papers the same day I realized I wanted to be with the new woman in my life. The divorce wasn't final until a year and a half later, but I started the process as soon as I could. "Oh, he'll/she'll divorce his/her spouse one day. I just know he/she will! He/she loves me!" Get over it. He doesn't really love you. If he can contemplate being married to someone else, he doesn't love you. Besides, why should he divorce her? He's got you, and his wife. He's having his cake and eating it, too, and you're letting him. What could possibly be his motivation for divorcing his wife?
2016-05-19 02:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by teresa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not really.
You should have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what you want out of your relationship.
If you want to get married, then you need to solve the distance problem first.
And he may not want to get married at all... does that mean that he loves you less than he should... no it doesn't but either way before you can do anything you need to solve the distance issue, so that you can spend more time together, because I bet that you have spent less time together than most people who have been going together for a year or 2 and then decide to get married.
Solve the distance issue, and have a conversation about where you want this to go.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
2007-06-13 06:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, yes. If you want to commit and settle down with him, and he is still scared, I would let him know that I either want to get married, or end the relationship. Also, if something were to happen to him, you have no say in anything because you're not married. All decisions goes to his parents.
You have spent 5 years devoted to him, you could be missing out on men who DO want to settle down and be married. Obviously, your bf is having some commitment issues that need to be addressed. And yes, some people can wait longer than 5 years, but that's because they can. If it's 5 years, and you're worried you might not EVER settle down with him, you need to have a serious talk with him.
I would not wait around for 5 years. But then, that's just me. If you think you can handle waiting for a longer period of time, then wait. If you want to move on, then do so. But before doing it, ask him why he does not want to get married after 5 years.
2007-06-13 06:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Cherry_Fire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you have a long distance relationship for 5 years??? To have a relationship with someone you guys need to see each other at least once a week! If I were you I would date a little closer to home and ditch the long distance thing especially if it's not working out the way you thought. Life's is to short to let someone waste it for you...
2007-06-13 06:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by Dave B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him the reason why he doesn't want to get married?
Have either of you been married before as that may have something to do with it...?
Either way it doesn't mean that he thinks any less of you cus you are not married....
Please don't finish with him cus of this...I love my long-term partner more than anything (except for my kids) as he is my life and I know I cant function properly without him but....I will not marry him and he knows that...he also knows that my decision not to marry him is nothing to do with him, its just the way I feel after having a marriage fail...
We are very happy and I'm worried that marriage will change that as things do change when you get married...anyone that has been married will tell you that....sometimes it changes for the better and sometimes it changes for the worst...
If you love your man, if you think he loves you and you trust him.....then just be happy and enjoy what you have for as long as you can even if that is until you are both in your 90's (age wise)...
2007-06-13 06:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by Elaine N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have a lifelong commitment to eachother without being married. However if you feel like you want to go up a level in your relationship and you feel now's the time you should really talk to him about it.
Unless you feel like you're drifting apart I wouldn't feel worried but it does seem like getting married might do well with your long-distance relationship. This will only work if you feel like you're ready to take this step and really be committed and making it work. I suggest you have a really meaningful conversation with him in where you're relationship is headed in the long run. Good Luck.
2007-06-13 06:27:14 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on his reasons. Has he said why he doesn't want to committ to you? If you are both happy at the minute don't feel as if you have to get married to be like everyone else. Long distance relationships are tough and you have something good if it has lasted this long. Can you move nearer to each other now before getting married?
2007-06-13 06:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. im not the mariage type my boyfriend of over 4 years has asked me so many times and i all ways tell him no. i mean i love him a lot but i just dont want to get married. and there are ppl that are not the marriage type and we shouldnt have to feel obligated to do so if thats not what we want. if you think a paper signed both of you is more important than his will or relationship than go ahead leave him but theres no reason why you should end the relationship just because he doesnt want to
2007-06-13 06:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋