Why do my parents put age restrictions on everything?

Question

Like, I'm respectable, honest, and trustworthy, and I make all As and Bs in school...

So, my parents wouldn't let me stay home alone until I was 16 and ride my bike around the neighborhood alone until I was 16. You should get all those opportunities once you get into 7th grade!!!

They wouldn't let me and another person go to a waterpark alone until I was 15! You should get that when you enter into 8th grade!!!

They still won't let me walk anywhere alone! I desperately wanted to get away, so I was walking around the block and my dad found me and made me get in the car.

And most people get a job in 9th or 10th grade. Well, they won't let me get a job until I move out and they still won't teach me how to drive and I don't have the money since I don't have a job to pay for it!

My parents are so crappy. I swear.

They still won't give me a house key........

Answer 1

OMG!

Your parents suffer from a disease called 'xenophobia' which can be helped by family counseling.

You are doing a great job of putting up with them, and I commend you. If you can't get any help for them, or get them to accept any help, just be assured that their excessive worry and neurotic behavior is THEIR problem, that it stems from the fact that they do love you a lot, and that once you grow up and go to college, you can learn to drive, get your own key, and see them one weekend a month so that they can touch you and be assured that you are still okay.

Good for you, for being an understanding young person!

Answer 2

I can assure you that you will be thankful for all these measures. They have helped you avoid so many of the pitfalls that kids fall into. If you could not stay alone until 16, it's because it could be considered neglect to leave you home alone depending on the state you're in. Kinda falls in line w/the bike riding, too. The waterpark also requires more significant parental supervision than a regular amusement park. You're more likely to get hurt there.
As far as walking or driving alone, I could see some excess in protection here. You guys need to talk openly and maturely on this. Call a family meeting and ask your parents if they have reason to not trust you. If not, then come to an agreement as to an appropriate time to be out. Also, discuss the opportunity to learn to drive. You can use the "how about if both of you have to go to the hospital but none of you can drive and get to a phone and I happen to be there w/the keys and the car?" Have the open dialogue, take your time on it, don't get angry and loud, hear them out, and let them hear you out. And don't worry about the job. Nice to hear you want a responsibility. Save that energy for when you'll really need it.

Answer 3

You'll eat these words when you're older. I swear.

For one thing, they are merely looking out for you. THEY are responsible for whatever happens to you, and it is only smart that they would be cautious. And the fact is that you are wrong about a lot of this. Most people DON'T have a job when they are in 9th or 10th grade... at least, nothing more than raking someone's yard or babysitting, IF that. If you know kids that have jobs in 9th grade, then you're hanging out with a minority. Most people DON'T let their under-15 year olds go wherever they want alone. The fact is that there are no rules about this like you are trying to insinuate, that somehow what grade you are in dictates what you should get to do. The real measure is your maturity, and you are not demonstrating that very well here. And are you REALLY that trustworthy? They why are you so desperate to "get away?"

Hmm...

I'm sure you don't like my answer, but the truth is that your parents sound like they are pretty bright. You think they are crappy? Huh. I just don't see it. I don't see you telling stories about your drunk dad embarrassing you in front of your friends or beating the crap out of you or locking you in your room or anything like that, so you're one up on me. Sounds to me like you have some more growing up to do. Good luck!

Answer 4

They just love you so much and want to make sure you stay out of trouble that they have become way over protective! My Dad was the same way. All the other kids could ride bikes all over the neighborhood, but I could only ride in front of the 4 houses on our block! Not around the block, just the 4 houses next to ours! That was 40 yrs ago when things weren't bad like today! Hang on you've only got a couple years yet, or if it get unbarable, see if you can move in with a friend and his family. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Wow. Well look at it this way, you're 16 now and in what two years maybe one and a half, you'll be 18 and you can move on your own.... There's something to look forward too right? My parents were strict but not that strict. As for the job they never let me get one till I graduated highschool first because they didn't want me to go to school and work at the same time. Enjoy not having a job, because once you get one, you will be working for the rest of your life. They really should give you a housekey though. lol why wont they give you one? I had one when I was six or seven for emergencies or just incase. I dunno.... just try to keep your head up and keep saying to yourself, they're doing this because they love you. That would drive me crazy too so... Maybe you can try to talk to them... Goodluck

Answer 6

They are following guidelines from someplace they trust. Can you access these guidelines, book, source of their reasoning, etc?
Can you research and provide your parents information located in the library, about the age restrictions, and normal developments, responsibilities, and allowances for each age group. These are involved books, usually from psychologists, although when you reach the books and chapters for your age group, and maybe the preceding age group, you will have verifiable proof, as to the success rate of these allowed responsibilities and activities.
They may be frightened because of all the abductions, and really don't want to risk the heartache.
Try getting the information, and meeting the responsibilities, you should gain their respect, and if you don't gain outdoor privileges, you should gain some lessons in your home, or a savings account for yourself, for when you are an adult.
Show respect, although because some of your natural privileges have been stomped on, you may have resentment. Take comfort in the knowledge from the books, as you can advance your life following prescribed guidelines.

Answer 7

Your parents are trying to save your life. Walking the streets at night are dangerous [ you could get mugged, beaten up, or killed]. I raised 3 - 2 girls and a boy. None of them where allowed on there bikes until they where 16 and then that had to have someone with them - they never went anyplace alone.
As for the water park thing they never went there alone except with me or another adult. When they were 18 then they went alone.Too many dangerous out there.
I drove all my kids to school up until they where 17. They got there own car when they could afford one after getting a job and could surport themselves.
As for a job my girls babysat in the neiborhood when they were 15. My son did lawns and weeding for neighbors we knew at 15.
Your parents are looking out for your best interest, cause it seems like you don't appraicate what they are doing for you.
It would be great if all parents where like yours, there would be less crime out there...
Be thankful they care about you and love you....

Answer 8

I agree that is overkill. Unfortunately, you are a minor and they apparently don't want to look at you as anything over the age of 10. Try setting them down and discussing how you feel and what you feel is worthy of a 16 year old.

Believe me, I was rolling on a bike by myself by the time I was 10. Of course I was given restrictions on how far I could ride, etc. But at some point in time, the parents need to realize you aren't in elementary school.

The only restriction I had at your age was what time I had to be home by and if I was going to be late, I had to call and of course have a good reason for it. I had very good judgement at age 9/10. Of course, I was a latch-key kid too.

Answer 9

Sure it sucks. Your parents love you though. I had my son when I was 17 and I always said I was going to be the coolest mom ever. I just knew I wasn't going to raise my kid the way my parents raised me.

You know what?? It happens. I love my child waaaaay too much to let ANYTHING happen to him. I want to protect him from all the weirdos in this world. I want to keep him sheltered from all the horrible things going on in our society.

I may be a little more lenient than with him than my parents were with me, but trust me...you will THANK your parents one day. Until that day comes, take advantage of your youth. Find other kids to hang out with who have restrictions like you. They can hang out at the same times.

You don't want a job anyway...you wont ever have the free time to spend your hard earned money. ;-)

Answer 10

Your parents sound very protective and with the way the world is today, can't say as though I blame them. All I can say is continue to exert your ability to handle responsibility and show them that you are ready to handle more. You may need to sit down with them and RESPECTFULLY let them know how you are feeling. Tell them that when they limit your activities it makes you feel as though they don't trust the values and maturity they have instilled in you. Just don't be whiney about it or accusatory. Have an adult conversation if that is how you want to be treated. Don't call them "crappy"!

Answer 11

Your parents more than likely have had some really bad things happen to them or have seen some really bad things...my parents were the same way ( I couldn't date until I was 17 and didn't get my learners permit to drive until I was 19) you just have to deal with it and learn from it. It will make you a better person int he long run, even though it sucks now.