What is the most polite way to answer a rude question?

Question

I am the mother of a young toddler, and am obviously very pregnant. As we are going about our day strangers will come up and ask how old my daughter is, and how far along I am, and then proceed to give me their opinion on the correct spacing of children. I'm sure it is not their intention, but often what they have to say is negative and hurtful to me.

Answer 1

The majority of people do not have the "intentions" of hurting you. They just lack tact. In those awkward moments I would definitely respond with your own confident opinion on the topic. For example: With a sincere smile - "I appreciate your concern, but I honestly don't think it will be an issue in our family", and then confidently and politely change the topic, which keeps YOU in the drivers seat and sends them a "subtle clear message" They may even realize that they've stepped over the line with their "insensitive comments"

Answer 2

I always say, "Oh? Why do you ask?" or "What do you mean by that?" or "Why do say that?" Just stand there trying to look interested as they stammer an explanation. I'm not sure why nosy people think it's open season on pregnant women, but I've noticed that problem, too.

Once I was accosted while pregnant by someone who thought I looked like a teenager (I was 23). She demanded to know why I wasn't in school! I was very confused, (did she not see the wedding ring I was wearing?), but then it just made me mad. I've also heard, "Was it planned?" and "What does your husband think?" No, that's not *too* personal at all! LOL

From what I can gather, the acceptable age to have a child is between 27 and 32, your two (only two!) children must be spaced three years apart, you plan to breastfeed until the child is one year old exactly, and will only use a bottle if a gun is held to your head, and you will have a natural childbirth. Apparently, we pregnant ladies deserve to be roundly shamed if we don't just nod and agree that we're terrible failures at parenting for not fulfilling one or more of these conditions.

Best of Luck!

Answer 3

Wow. I know what you mean and understand where you are coming from. Every once in a while I have people come up to me and make comments that are rude and unwarranted. I used to just politely say "okay" and "uh huh" or nod, etc. But I realized that those things are NOT addressing the fact that I felt that the comment or question was inappropriate. I started doing something a little different. I started nicely saying," I know its not your intention to be rude, but what you said hurt my feelings and I disagree with it" and suprisingly, people paused and said, "O Im sorry". I then, told them my perspective on it and the positives to my personal choice and why it works for me. And you know what? They started becoming a little more open-minded.

I hope this helped somewhat. I hope this a positive way to address a negative question or comment. Have a great pregnancy. Best wishes to you!

Answer 4

I was in the same boat as you about 2 years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child, and my first had just turned 2. He is a very rambunctious little boy, so people often questioned why I was having another child, when it was obvious that he was a handful. Usually, I would just say, "Thanks for your input, I'll remember that for next time." Sometimes, if I was really irritated, I would come back with something like, "I don't remember asking for your opinion but I appreciate your offer. I'm not interested in any free advice. Thanks, though."

As far as I am concerned, it's no one's business what you are doing, so you have no reason to be totally polite with them if they hurt your feelings or if they are rude.

Answer 5

My son was only six months old when I became pregnant with his little brother, and I used to get the same questions constantly. The people asking weren't (I don't think, anyway) trying to be rude--they were just opinionated and nosey. I always said to them, "While I appreciate your advice, my husband and I are fully ready to (and completely capable of) caring for another child. No need to be concerned--we have everything under control!" Give them a nice smile, then walk away.

Answer 6

Practice that glowing smile in the mirror at home and then use it on the the folks who step slightly over the line but have good intentions. For those who are negative, hurtful and ugly - practice a surprised/shocked face and then just say "really?" without any sarcasm. Then... say nothing more.

Answer 7

"I'm sorry, have we met before. I have such a bad memory sometimes." Said with a polite but congenial tone. This does a couple of things, it avoids the question and changes the subject. If they persist in asking the questions after that -- and they don't know you -- a simple, "I'd rather not talk about that right now, I'm sure you can understand that."

And if they continue after that, well, I'm not sure there's any need to be polite. Just ignore them.

Answer 8

I used to say, "interesting theory" and change the subject or have a nice day and leave. I always do it politely. Just because they are rude doesn't mean I have to be.. Some people just have no social graces and stumble through life. They may have thought they were being nice.clueless.

Answer 9

You just have to tell them that what they're saying is hurtful. Thank them for the chat but you've got things to do.

Just ignore them. It's very common and "normal" dare I say it, to have children close in age. I, personally, think it's more proper. You don't want a teenager and an infant at the same time, do you?

Hope this helps.

nicole

Answer 10

This is the way we want it and the way we chose to do it. If you don't approve then tough. You're entitled to your opinion.

Unfortunately, it's a little late if I wanted to change my opinion at this point.

I'm happy, why can't you be happy with me and keep your opinion to yourself?

Just to name a few.....you're expecting so let them have it. People need to shut their trap and be happy and excited for you. Don't let them preach to you about the whole 2 year old thing either. We don't even give our kids the chance to be good. We tell them they are going to be bad.

Sorry, tangent there. Raise those kids to be leaders and not followers. Have a blessed pregnancy!