Im 36 years old and my boyfriend is 19. he doesnt have any other girlfriends, he didnt have sex for 2 years before he met me. its a purely sexual relationship that we have. He is soooo Hot and cute. but he is really shy . that must be why he doesnt meet very many girls. But I have always been shy too, but im comfortable with my sexuality, and he noticed that and now we have a wonderful friendship. but he told me that he loves me. and I have hope for him that he will meet someone his own age and he will get married and all that good stuff. Im scared that I will fall in love with him too, and then with the age difference, i will be setting myself up for failure on my part. how can I break it off with out ending our friendship. I need him as a friend in my life. I dont want to hurt him though.
2007-06-13 02:48:33 · 26 answers · asked by bonolarryedge 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should break it off. He's very young, and being in a relationship with someone so much older is probably confusing for him. I don't know your specific situation, but I would imagine that the age difference gives you a lot more control in the relationship, and that isn't healthy for him (or you). You may also be keeping him from meeting someone his own age with whom he could have a real future.
For his own good and for yours, you would both be better off if you ended it. It's inevitable that you will hurt him a little bit if he still wants to see you, but it's much better to hurt him a little bit now than to hurt him a lot later on!
2007-06-13 02:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
By no means get in a intimate relationship with this guy. He is just not yet mature enough mentally and emotionally to be a good mate. If you got pregnant then you may be in big trouble. I learned this the hard way cause my husband is 3 1/2 yrs younger than me and he was 20 when we got married. He's had to grow up really fast and it's not been easy on either of us.
You're friend can not give you the stability and support that you would probably be used to at your age simply because he hasn't experience enough life to know how to deal with it.
Good luck
2007-06-13 02:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by jingersnaps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sry, but this is so stupid. First of all, if you don't want him for "marriage" then why are you stringing him along. You are keeping him from pursuing better relationships because you enjoy having sex with him. And don't give me the line that it's what he wants, because he's NINETEEN and we both know (I am your age) that he doesn't KNOW what he wants.
If he loves you, then you have to make a decision to be with him or completely let him go!!!
Second, what is with this "let's be friends" thing that everyone harps on? It's near impossible to remain friends after a breakup. No matter what, you will be his EX and that carries certain baggage with it. You can be nice to him if you see him on the street, but you shouldn't try to keep including him in your life when he needs to move on. The rule is: If you don't share kids, there's no reason to maintain a "friendship."
I have been in relationships with much older people and I know that it can work out, but if you're not all the way in it, it never will. Let him go so he can find someone who can give him the kind of life he deserves.
Good luck. :)
2007-06-13 02:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by searching_please 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My be sure's instructed me that my boyfriend and that i could now stay unsleeping interior a similar mattress on a similar time as we've been of their domicile till i replaced into 18. whilst we the two graduated from intense college and that i replaced into very almost 18 they did no longer somewhat care that lots and have been given rid of the rule of thumb, yet we had already been together for a twelve months and a nil.5 if that makes any distinction. If she makes use of beginning administration and condoms then she would be waiting to no longer get pregnant and that i do no longer see the harm after all in the event that they're going to do it then they're going to do it whether or no longer they are sound asleep interior a similar mattress. i'm no longer a be sure, regardless of the undeniable fact that, and so i can not communicate from the perspective of one.
2016-10-17 03:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm shocked that you are interested in a 19 year old. You could almost be his mother!!!! It sounds like you might have some issues about yourself. Is it easier for you to control your relationship with a younger guy rather than someone your age? I'm an older woman too. I appreciate a younger guy's good physique and good looks, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with him. I think you are taking advantage of him and using him for your own pleasure.
2007-06-13 02:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be very Clear do you want him as your husband
Yes Yes i know he is too young
Be selfish practical at 36 do you think you will not be able to get a guy of your age if No Keep this relationship
If yes Then do a good deed and let the youngmen have his life as it is supposed to be
2007-06-13 03:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Life won't Stop Nor Should U 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He already loves you, so its too late for him not to get hurt. Were you honest about this being purely a sexual relationship in the beginning?
He wont be meeting anyone else until you stop sleeping with him, and once you stop sleeping together what else do you have in common? He thinks your in a relationship... sadly, this can only end badly.
2007-06-13 02:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by insane_blue_eyez 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I was in my early twenties I dated a woman in her thirties and fell in love with her, so I can imagine how your boyfriend feels. I don't think you have to break up with him, but you have to explain clearly it isn't going to ever happen as a long term relationship. He has many, many years left to meet someone his age and marry her so don't worry about that right now. In fact dating you at this time is probably really good for preparing him for future relationships and boosting his self-esteem and courage with women.
The age difference is not too much for the short term, things can be really great in this type of relationship. Nevertheless the difference in age will eventually rear its head when trying to figure out things for the long term -- someday one of you will want things that the other can't offer. Or worse, one of you will want things but you'll feel that they are too big to ask of the other. When the person you love becomes the one obstacle to your dreams it can be very painful.
It can work in the short term, just make it clear to him that it is only short term.
2007-06-13 03:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by Grim Strategy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Shy at 36, I think not, I think you are a smart predetor who stays on the right side of the law.
You are way too old for him.
Get out of his life you freek and let him associate with kid's his own age.
Grow up and find someone your own age.
If he was younger than 18 I would have you delt with as a peadophile, Not just reported.
2007-06-13 02:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off where is your brain in your ass, you are old enough to be his mother, where don't you date someone your own age what can you have in common with someone that young?
Shyness is no excuse; you need to go to your nearest friendly neighborhood shrink.
I had a 22 or 26 yr old im me yesterday asking me if I dated younger men!!!! I have sons older than that. I take you have no children, I have four 3 sons and I could never date much less sleep with someone age of one of my sons that's too much like incest to suit me.
cut that boy loss and let him have his live and you get counseling and join eharmony or something.
2007-06-13 03:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by joyce s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋