Is it me or him?

Question

There's this boy i work with when we started talking on the phone i thought we was just going to be friends then things started to get serious i started to notice things that he use to didn't do like eat behind me lay his head on my shoulder. So when i first went over his house (nothing happened) so we started to grow closer I been our like 5 or 6 times no and we had sex once when i asked him is that all he wanted from me he said no. Cause when we are together (at his house) i have so much fun we are all hugged up kissing and watching tv. But when we are at work now he don't sit by me or even say so much as "hi." But he told me that his sees me as a furture girlfriend, but he's not sure if im that type of girl to go and blab our business. Should l leave him alone or go alone with it.

Answer 1

He's just trying to seperate the work from the personal business. I wouldn't question it. I would leave it along.

Answer 2

Well maybe he has been hurt like this before. Work relationships are always a risky business because if it goes wrong you have to see that person every day.

If you like him all you can do is assure him that you wont discuss things and then prove it to him by keeping quiet. If however he is just saying that so he can go with other girls at work (which I have seen happen before) then he is not worth it.

Either way you two will have to admit it in the office at some point so you will need to make a decision on

a) whether he is worth it
b) whether you can keep it a secret
c) how long you want to wait.

In general terms though providing future behaviour doesnt contradict what he has said then you two may well have a future and wouldnt run away just yet.

Answer 3

Sometimes people act that way because they don't want the atmosphere at work to get uncomfortable so they back off during work hours. Maybe you are a really touchy feely person and if he lets you get close a lot at work you will be all over him and that's not preofessional.

Another possibility is that he is embrassed that he is with you and does not want people to find out.

Could be that he is just not serious about you, he got a taste and that was enough for him and hopes you will just fade away.

Maybe there is a no dating co workers policy at your place of work.

A lot of guys do act strange about their girlfriend telling people their business, that you are so cuddly and affectionate maybe he is afraid guys at work will think he's not that tough if they find out how he is with you.

Maybe he likes someone at work and doesn't want her to find out about you.

So I gave you some possibilities and it is up to you to find out the reason for his behavior. I would go along with what he is doing for now but then also communicate with him that it makes you feel uneasy that he is so apprehensive about showing his relationship in public/work.

Answer 4

I would say be really careful with this guy, because if you guys are already doing things but yet he doesn't even wanna call you his girlfriend? I think there's no more to it than getting what he wants. I have been in relationships like this one before and the more i made myself believe that he really did love me and it wasn't just for sex, the more i ended up getting hurt. Just be really careful. Also, if he thinks your going to blab if ya'll are boyfriend/girlfriend, what is he going to do then when you've already went the furthest you can go? Are you blabbing now? Guys are confusing sometimes and it looks like you've got your hands on one of them.

Answer 5

It's hard to tell but it sounds like maybe he doesn't want to mix business with pleasure...and a lot of companies don't want their employees dating. Are either of you in a supervisory postion at work? If so, this could be an additional reason. I wouldn't really freak out about it too much, just try to be casual at work, but if he starts ignoring you or acting different outside of work as well, then he may not be interested and I'd move on.

Answer 6

It does sound a little odd.

but since you work together, perhaps he doesn't want it publicly known that the two of you are a couple. Is there any company regulation about dating co-workers? Some companies discourage or outright forbid co-workers to date because of the problems that can grow out ot it..

Doc

Answer 7

He is obviously keeping it a secret for a reason. I think he got what he wanted from you and now he is probably working on his next victim. He is not worth your time. Leave him alone. Sorry you have to put yourself out there first before you relieved he was a jerk but just use this as a life learned lesson. (Dont sleep with anyone if they dont claim you)!!

Answer 8

i think that maybe you should go along with it for a while because the reason he mit ignore you at work is due to him being busy or not trying to involve his personal life with the workplace. However, does he ignore you in other public places? Because that could be a sign that hes using you and you should get this guy out of your life. No one wants to be friends with benifits.

Answer 9

I'm not trying to hurt your feeling but it sounds like that he was really turned on by you at first but now he's getting burned out on you. Do you go to his uninvited and then it turns out to be fun and a lot of sex? If he doesn't' ask you to come every time your there then stop going over let him invite you. But don't put out all the time for him. I'm a man and sometimes I got really turned on by a woman but then I got burned out.

Answer 10

Dating a co-worker is not recomended, to know if he/she is the right one takes time, a lot of time. Take it easy, if he said you that he sees you as a future girlfriend give him some time and then make a decision: stay or leave.