What age did you start discussing "The Birds and the Bees" with your children?

Question

My daughter is going to be 8 this week and she has been asking questions I am not sure how to answer...

Shes not boy crazy and shes doing great in school. But she seems very curious in the male\female body. Sometimes she seems a little too affectionate with other little boys.

Answer 1

If your daughter is asking questions then you need to give her some basic honest answers. Do not roam around the facts, just simplify them and give them to her. I am a sixth grade teacher, and it is never to early to speak with her about sex. Because you do not want to be too late! This past school year I had five girls pregnant at the age of 10-12! So please don't do your daughter the disservice of not telling her! I know that this is going to be difficult, but there is no wrong age nowadays to speak with your child about sex. Many children psychologists are now saying that we should start teaching about the body and sex as soon as first grade in school. But, bottom line it is your daughter... weigh the options and just be honest! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I think it's always a good idea to answer questions truthfully, but in an age-appropriate way. For example, if a three-year-old asks you the names of certain body parts, I would give him the "real" names rather than the cutesy nicknames we all use at times. But there's no need to go into HUGE detail at that age in regard to what the body parts do! Now that your daughter is almost eight, you can certainly be a little more detailed about these things. There is a great little book published by the company that makes American Girl dolls. It's called "The Care and Keeping of You," and it's geared towards young girls regarding the changes in their body. This would be an excellent place to start. Your local library may have it, and the librarian may also have some other recommendations for good books on this subject. But don't just give the books to your daughter. Spend some time going through them with her, answering her questions, and making her feel comfortable about asking these perfectly normal things.

Answer 3

I recieved the full blown talk when I was 8 and I understood it. My mother made it a point to start at the beginning with the differences between boy and girls, which I already know about considering I have brothers and sisters.

Definitly be honest and open. I don't think it's too early to start. You want to address things BEFORE she gets interested in boys, and it gives time for things to "sink in'" and ask more questions. You can also have follow up discussions as she gets older and reaches the dating stage. Also explain why it's unapproriate for her to be "a little to affectionate", and when it is appropriate for those actions. You sure don't want to scold or punish her for something she doesn't realize she it doing wrong, but you do want to let her know that she shouldn't do it.

Don't side step a question; this gives the impression the topic is not to be discussed and she may not feel comfortable talking to you again. The more you talk to her the more she will feel comfortable and come to you for answers instead of her friends (who don't know more than she does).

Answer 4

I started as early as two. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, my first daughter had lots of questions. I told her that Mommy and Daddy made the baby, but I didn't tell her how. Recently, I started charting my cycles again, and the same daughter, who is now 4 1/2, asked me what I was doing. I explained about my body releasing eggs every month and how I chart my cycle because I don't want to have any more babies right now.

So talk to your daughter about this now and next year and every year. Each time add a little more information relevant to her age. If you can be open with her about this now, then she will feel more comfortable coming to you when it really counts.

I've seen recommendations for a book called "Girl Stuff" by Margaret Blackstone for ages 9 to 12. You might want to look around your library or Barnes & Noble website for age-appropriate books to assist you. I would read anything first, though, before giving it to her. And be sure to talk to her about what she's read or read it together.

When she gets about 14 and has started her period, I recommend the book "Cycle Savvy" by Toni Weschler.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

Really young. Starting with him always knowing the proper names for body parts right away when he was learning arm, leg, etc. Around six, it was time for discussing where babies come from - according to the ethics and morals of your family and religion. With your daughter being 8, she pretty much needs to know everything, because some girls are getting their periods at 9 and 10 these days, and she needs to be prepared. Better that information come from you, before she hears incorrect information on the playground. Make sure you are open to having her come to you, so you can quickly dispell myths. Answer questions to the best of your ability, there's nothing wrong with saying 'I don't know" or "you don't need to know that right now". There are great books which can help you if you are shy, ask your local librarian.

Answer 6

Our son asked us a the age of 8.
We were sitting at dinner and he asked us and I turned to my husband and said for him to take this one. I was too dumbfounded at that moment to come up with something.

First, he explained that babies come from mom and dad that love each other very much. Not giving graphic details on it. This was something very special between two people.

Then we took him to the library and got a book for children on where do babies come from. We sat with him, read it, looked at pictures and then he kind of got it. Again, no graphic or the technical end of it.

We didn't hear him ask about it again till he was about 12. Then we explained a little bit more in detail what happens with body parts.

Don't use silly words to describe body parts. Use their correct name.

Just be honest. Go with your gut feelings. But, I do believe getting a book will help.

Answer 7

just be open with her. If you make it comfy for her to talk to you at this age then she will feel more comfy when she is older to talk to you about things. There are tons of books out there for this type of thing if you need ideas. I got my ideas of how to explain from going to epcot center in disney world. They have the miracles of life section. They show an egg dressed up in shoes and makeup and standing there trying to get the sperms attention. The sperm swim like crazy racing each other and saying i'm going to get there first, no i am..it's great. You don't have to be overly detailed on what you tell her at this age, but don't avoid her questions. In the public school system they are teaching our children earlier and earlier about sex and how babies are made etc. Do you want her to learn from a semi stranger in a public place with tons of other kids or at home where she feels comfy from her mommy?
As weird as it may be the first time you need to do it, it gets easier and easier. Do a search online on google, How do i tell my daughter about sex? I am sure you come up with something helpful. Please make sure to tell her as she gets a little bit older, like 10 maybe about her period. My ex step daughter was 11 and her mother had refused to tell her about her period. She came to me asking me what happened and what it was etc. I gave her some basic info, but then told her to ask her mother a few specific questions that she could not avoid. If you avoid telling her about her period she will think she is going to bleed to death when she starts.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Children seem to grow up fast now-a-days. Their "little minds" are racing with all kinds of questions.
When my kids started asking questions about "Body Parts",I gave them the real terms,and the slang terms,because it is the slang term,that they will hear outside of the home. At that age,I only explained to them, which body parts represented males and females. I started talking about sex,when they reached puberty.
At the age of 8,your daughter is more curious,than actually interested. Once you've explained,then she will probably respond with an "Oh!",and go on about her daily routine,but she won't forget what you've told her. As she gets older,then what you've told her will start to make sense to her,and she will not be shy or embarrassed to talk to you about sex.

Answer 9

As soon as they start asking questions they are ready for some things, for example learning about the changes in their bodies, as for sex and the like around 10 - 12 is a little more appropriate, never shirk a question if a child wants to know. Answer it as truthfully and honestly as you can. Think about it, its less embarrassing now, than winding up with an 11 year old who thinks she is going to die, because she has just got her first period, and doesnt know what it is.

Answer 10

I talk to my daughter now, she is only eight yrs old. I just give her very simple details. I just let her know where babies come from and how there born. If she has any other questions I want to be the one to answer them not her friends or someone else who think they have the right to tell my daughter about life.