I met this really great guy online and I lied about my appearance time went on we talked more and more and eventually we were up many sleepless nights talking. Well I finally told him the truth about my appearance and he was mad not at the fact of what I looked like but more so because I had lied to him. He wont take my phone calls now however he still texts with me and tells me that I did mean something to him. I have apologized profusely and asked what I could do to fix this he tells me I cant fix it. I ask if he misses me and he says yes a little. I need some words to win him over win me that one more chance to see what might have been. I need some good solid advice on how to fix this or at least get him to talk to me.
2007-06-13 00:54:36 · 18 answers · asked by ai_indy_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lying about your appearance to win over someone's acceptance over you will always get you into trouble, and you have learned that valuable lesson. It only reveals your lack of self esteem, and confidence in who you are, otherwise why would you feel the need to lie about what you look like.
Okay, now that the damage is done, what can you do about it? It might help to explain to him why you felt compelled to lie to him in the first place. Take down those walls, and open up to him. Let him see the real you, and share your feelings with him.
If you have told him that you were totally wrong in what you did, and ask his forgiveness, and also assure him that from this point on you will be totally up front and honest with him, than maybe in due time he may come around. However, if he continues to have the idea that there is nothing you can do to fix it, than that is that, and move on.
The problem here is that he doesn't feel he can trust you. Once you have destroyed someone's trust, it is very difficult to win them back to trusting you again, because they have the perception that if you lied once, you will be dishonest in other things, and he is concerned about that. Good relationships are built on trust and confidence in each other. You have to now SHOW him that you will be honest from this point on. Words may not work for you anymore.
However, you can at least tell him that you would like to seriously discuss what you did, and let him know all the reasons, and that you are ashamed, embarassed, and very regretful that you were not honest with him in the beginning.
Good luck.
2007-06-13 01:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by 1greatguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can understand why you might have lied about your appearance but unless you have enough time and determination to turn yourself into what you said you were, in the future you might want to change this strategy. If you two talked and had meaningful conversation this might be a way to at least regain some communication between one another. Right now the guy is mad, justifiably so. It doesn't necessarily have to be because your not the raving beauty you made yourself out to be, but it could be that he gained something from the illusion of what you claimed to be in his head. Like the same confidence boost you got from lying. All you can do is apologize and try to focus on the conversations you had that were not false. At the very least you might be friends, at most, who knows? Think positive, especially about yourself, it will work wonders.
Good Luck
2007-06-13 08:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lied about how you looked? That's a first. That has never happened in the history of the Internet.
How many supermodels are really sitting at their keyboards looking for love? Not many. But if you asked the on line network of people there's not an unattractive person in the bunch!
He's mad or hurt that you couldn't trust him with the truth. But when you were strangers, just getting to know each other, how were you to know that he's a good guy, not superficial about appearances? Not that I condone lying in true relationships , but it's understandable if you didn't think that it was ever going to come to fruition.
Just put it into perspective. A relationship with a person in person beats a on line relationship hands down.
2007-06-13 08:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by bridalbecca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that since you met him online as a stranger you didnt want to give out your appearence thats why you lied ... its natural to be safe and plus you are a girl ... you cant go out giving your information to whoever asks for it ... and now tat you knw him you felt that he was a good fellow and you felt safe enough to tell him the truth ... dude this is not such a great deal and if he is making you feel like it is .. then he just doesnt appreciate the person you are .. so ttell him this one last time apologise and if he still doesn agree.. get over it .. there are many other guys out there
2007-06-13 08:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should be a lot more understand, after all most people do lie a bit or a lot of line. Come on, he needs to give you a break. After, all you didn't know what type of guy he is or you would have been more open and honest. I say forget him, and find someone else. You apologize, once that is enough. If, he does not understand, that then it is his lost. Have a good day.
2007-06-13 08:04:02 · answer #5 · answered by That one 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Online dating is scary within itself.Lying about your identity is a whole another thing that brings a lot of what ifs.Best bet be true to you and others,if a person will not like you for who you are then they don't deserve you.If you don't like you then others will see that in you and take advantage of the great attributes that are within you
2007-06-13 08:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fears may be that you was affraid to loose the best thing you had/have your male computer companion. Explain this if as I feel you may say, honestly. Be open as much as your comfortable to submit. Text the feelings you feel and then let nature cure the wounds. If intentionally he was connected then in time he may return happily just remember Empathy that helps me.
2007-06-13 08:05:48 · answer #7 · answered by daryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow I am thinking that this wont work out, since the whole thing was based on a lie at the outset. I would move on and let it be a lesson to me.
2007-06-13 08:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well. some good life advice:
-be honest. no matter. yes... sometimes it hurts others.. but honesty is the best policy.
-never be ashamed of appearance. real people will accept you for who you are.. and never try to change you.
if he wont talk to you.. then maybe he was in it for the appearance. maybe its just time to move on? i know it may be hard.. but sometimes doing whats best for ourselves isnt always easy.
Take Care Hun.
-Cass
2007-06-13 08:03:14 · answer #9 · answered by MommaCass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl you can't win him over again.you seem to forget that you are not supposed to give any details of urself to anyone whilst chatting and that's exactly what you did.if he refuses to accept ur apology then you should know that he is sooo not the right guy for you just wait patiently for the right guy.don't be in such a hurry.
2007-06-13 08:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by CONCIETED CILLA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋