he says i am neglecting our son?

Question

my little boys dad walked out on us in march and moved in with some one ten days later, my son is six and his dad sees him for a few hours a week (his choice) we had to move back in with my parents and i got a part time job which unfortunally is at night its 2 nights a week but i am home in time to but my son to bed, i also went to a party on satarday night but was home for twelve and that has been my first night out,
now my ex says that my son never gets to see me and i am damageing him emotonally by going to work and leaving him with my mum because he is still getting used to not seeing his father (his choice) and how not seeing his mum
he is making me feel very bad but is he just playing games with me because i am getting over him

i said to him if i did not work we would not have money for all the nice things that we do like i am taking him to euro disney next month he said that my son would rather have a parent, he does not give me any money but i dont mind that because i have nothing to thank him 4

Answer 1

He is playing head games with you, that is for sure.
He doesn't need to know your every move. If you want to go out then you should. Your son is safe with your mum.
I am sure your son has had a lot of adjustments since your sons dad walked out on the both of you. But you need to live a life too.
So I say your not neglecting your son.


~faith

Answer 2

Don't buy his BS! HE abandoned the two of you and in an abusive way is trying to put the blame and guilt on you! What a jerk! Has he shown other signs of abuse? Your little boy is the one who will suffer the most. Stupid people say kids can handle anything... it's not that simple. Don't date...focus on your child. Another man now would probably make your sons life more of a mess. Stay with your parents if you can and make a good life for your son. Do not give him any reason to say you are neglectful. Some men will try anything to get out of paying the child support, including taking custody of him...not realizing the work involved in caring for a child. Stop and think about how your son is feeling! Poor thing! His father is a skank and so is his heartless wh**e!

Answer 3

He is the neglectful one! You are trying to get your life together for the 2 of you. He is upset because you haven't fallen apart over him. You are showing him you don't need him to survive and that ticks him off! Be assured that it is next to impossible to prove a mother unfit. I had a neighbor woman who was the worst mother and was blatent about it. Yet, her ex no matter what he did could not prove she was harming the kids. Her oldest left home at 16 and next child became emancipated at 15 because she didn't provide basic needs for him that he ended up getting a job and doing himself. Her other 2 are still at home for now. They won't be there maybe another year or 2 at the most. Sad. You are not neglecting your son at all. You need to get out and meet people at least once a week. Dad will just have to swallow his pride and take a lesson that he isn't all that.

Answer 4

He's playing mind games with you. Tell him if he really cares about his son's well being, he would spend a lot more time with him.
It's not going to harm your son if you are working for a couple of days or even all week as long he has someone loving and caring there until you come home.
He's trying to control you, be strong, stand up to him, just make sure you give your son plenty of loving and don't let him be used as a pawn between the two of you.

Answer 5

ok he is a bad dad himself cos he only spent a few hours with ur son a week and put the blame on u, he is not doing good himself and he is blaming u.
becareful though cos he might be up to something like fighting for the custody of the child or whatever...
firstly u had done ur best for u and ur child u had tried to support both of u by doing part time now, of cos u can do better by going into a full time job so that u can afford u child to child care later, u are doing ok but u can do even better for u and ur child.
U can take ur ex words as encouragement to find a better life for u and ur child.

Answer 6

He's just trying to make you feel bad and the only way he can do it is by calling you a bad mother. You know your not a bad mother because your there for your son, don't let his emotional abuse get to you. He can believe all he wants...in fact he is the bad person in this story because he left you and your son for some other wh*re. He basically doesn't have any place to judge. I guess he's jealous that you are moving on with your life and he doesn't like it. Don't listen to him and tell him your personal life is none of his business.

Answer 7

Yes, he is playing mind games with you. You are at least working and bringing in some money. Children adapt very well to their parents not being there all the time. My parents both worked during the day, so I had to see myself off to school in the morning and there was no one at home when I got home until 5.00pm. I thought that was normal. So don't let him get to you, people say things they don't mean because of jealousy or anger.

Answer 8

Don't take any notice at all honey, you're netitled to a life too. Your son is being loved, cared for and in no way neglected. You are being responsible by working and how does it affect your son if you are there to put him to bed and he is asleep whilst you are gone? Working nights must leave you exhausted too so good on you for persevering.
Your ex has made a conscious decision not to be very involved in his son's life and that is his choice. Tell him to back off so that you can make choices concerning your life too.
Good luck honey. You're doing great x

Answer 9

Ignore the two timing cheat sweetie! He just wants you to be tied to your son while he (daddy) is living with someone else and having a good life without mither! YOU need to have some fun!YOU need to be away from your son sometimes.YOU need some adult company sometimes.And lastly if you are having a bit of fun(your son is well cared for with your parents) and you are happy then your son will also be happy,its the best way to move on (believe me) . Don't feel guilty, you are trying your best to bring your son up with stability and trying to pay your way by working, so ignore the rat and carry on as you are doing.You will survive!!!

Answer 10

It seems like he's neglecting his responsibilities. You should be of one to blame, you're being a mother and trying your best as a single parent to provide for you child, so of all people you shouldn't feel bad for what you are doing. Because you are working so hard, you deserve to at least have a night out to enjoy yourself. Your child knows deep in his heart that mum is trying her very best to be around and make life better. Just ignore what negativity the father is bringing and work towards making things better for yourself and child. Be strong for your little one, if he sees that you are strong then he will walk in your footsteps.

Answer 11

You ARE NOT neglecting your son - your ex is trying to undermine you and make you less confident - consider this - HE WALKED - YOU look after your son - he is cared for whilst you are at work and cared for on the night you went out for a little enjoyment - he is trying to make you out to be the bad one - he is an A R S E hole - ignore the pillock and carry on as you are - your son is safe and loved and you would not be criticised by any one or any agancy that he complained to - you are right - and doing the right thing - just screw him for as much money as you can every week. Good on you - good luck