is that so hard for me to accept and believe just like most other people? I have noticed that when I am given a compliment, I always will come back and say things like, Oh, it's no big deal (when it is/was a big deal), comment on anything about myself I come back with all the negatives about me?, the list can go on and on.
I just wanted to check with you guys for opinions.
Thanks
2007-06-05 18:47:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I'm not sure, it might just be your personality.
I bet you don't like to boast either...
One of the hardest things for me to do personally is to accept praise because I can't seem to get past the criticism. The only time that I actually was able to realize how good things were for me and how good I really was at certain things was when there was no one left to praise me.
I think you might, to some degree, be a perfectionist. I think that you like to hear the compliments, but you need to be modest and need to be better, and that need makes you feel like you dont really deserve what you've achieved.
My suggestion, dont wait for people to stop complienting you. Take it for what it is, a compliment. If you start doing the whole "I dont deserve this, Its not a big deal" thing, just remind yourself that it would suck not to have someone say something nice about you from time to time.
2007-06-05 18:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by colormebrown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been difficult for me to accept compliments at times. I don't know if my reason for that is the same as yours. For me it was never a matter of low self-esteem or thinking that the compliment was undeserved. Back when I had depressions, I certainly felt strongly hopeless and helpless, but never worthless.
I remember the first time in school anyone evaluated me as not very talkative, but when I said something it was valuable. It wasn't that I thought that was untrue. It was that I wondered if the person writing that meant it or if he was just trying to be nice. That could be his standard line for lots of introverts.
That got better when I had more experience of people liking my work and who I am, but then it got worse when my bipolar disorder caused so much trouble to my career and my marriage. At times it became painful to hear compliments because I would get a feeling of, "Where were you when I was being rejected?" Plus there was a feeling that this person would reject me the next time I go nuts just like everyone did before.
There was no easy answer to that, because these are realistic feelings. I've endured a lot of rejection. It's so easy to say that in a way that blames people. Then certain judgmental people will jump on that and say everything that has happened in my life is my responsibility, which they wouldn't say if they had lived my life.
All of those interpersonal tensions can connect to that one moment of being complimented and make it difficult. Fortunately there are many ways to get better, both in terms of my symptoms and my circumstances. Lately when people give me compliments I can smile and say, "Thank you," even when I know the person saying it doesn't know me at all. It's one of many signs that I'm better than I was at my worst.
2007-06-06 02:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by David D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the world as it is we are taught to do this because it shows humility. But it isn't real humility, it is false humility. Worse, it denies the compliment someone has given you, effectively telling them they are wrong. It's a rudeness.
To be honestly polite, thank the person who gave you the compliment. You don't have to go overboard with it, just appreciate the complimentor. It takes some self-control at first, but people will appreciate you even more when you do.
2007-06-06 02:11:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely get this book:
There Is Nothing Wrong With U
by Cheri Huber
Trust me!
2007-06-06 10:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cuz you have low self esteem and don't necessarily believe them. Their compliments make you uncomfortable so you minimize them. Learn to love yourself and be proud of who you are cuz you have no reason not to.
2007-06-06 01:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by LetMeBe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I feel the same way.
You should think about going on medication anti-depressants that helps and so does counseling.
2007-06-06 01:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do the same thing
most of the reason i do it
is because i don't like attention
and because honestly
i'm glad that they're complimenting me
but i really don't agree
and i don't see it the same way the do
2007-06-06 01:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by southernsoccergal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u just want to be respected from everybody and trying to be top of everybody. i'm not saying u're bad or anything but one of my friend were like that but later on i found out he/she wanted more attetion that one he/she getting daily.
2007-06-06 02:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by God 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are searching for something better.... instead of usual good stuff.
2007-06-06 01:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by Khamirul Bin Mataree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound insecure about yourself. be proud of who you are and accept and love yourself.
2007-06-06 01:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋