hes in the navy..and lately he will email me saying"are you sure you tell me eveything,and your not hiding anything?"..what does this mean?..this is our first deployment and weve only been together for 9months..he NEVER asked me anything like that before the deployment..until now..part of me thinks..is he hiding something?or is this just a combo.of a bunch of guys+lonelyness+all the time in the world to over analyze everything?....
serious answers only please
2007-06-05 18:30:34 · 17 answers · asked by ♥ 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
this isnt the first time hes asked me..
i would never cheat on him...and he knows that..i could never cheat on him while hes out there risking his life..and yea he does talk about guys getting bad news over there often...
2007-06-05 18:42:41 · update #1
He is probably just nervous due to all the bad stories about cheating that he has heard from fellow shipmates.
2007-06-05 18:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by PM4 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this is a sad one. When they are deployed most- not all- but most cheat. He may not want to tell you about the lifestyle right now as to not scare you off- but they do. And, it's kept hush hush and it's an acceptable practice among sailors. Even the women are often like that. It's like a floating frat house. Women often sell themselves for money. I know that because I have befriended a few from my husbands last command on a large ship. I was shocked. I went through a jealous angry period and decided I was armed with enough info- and I had to trust my husband. It wasn't worth worrying over. If it happened, I would have to deal with it then.
So, if yor BF sees it everyday and hears about his friends who's girlfriends back home have cheated he may be worried.
Also, after deployments it is common to share STD's they have picked up along the way. Keep it in mind if he shares one with you he hasn't been faithful.
2007-06-06 08:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by jeweledfruit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could definitely be subjected to ribbing by people trying to say that all women cheat or that sort of thing by people who don't have girlfriends. Many in the navy experience it so it is not surprising that he would hear it a lot. It can get tough on a long deployment and you loose track of the real world. It seems like it will never end sometimes.
2007-06-06 01:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by bravozulu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes facing death or the possibility of death; or the thought of losing everything that you know, will cause someone to take a whole new look at their lives. Things that didnt seem important before may take a whole new meaning. And the thought of everything, or even anything, changing at home while they are called to duty, can be a very eye opening and life changing state of mind. Just as a prisoner may find God, a soldier may find life. Or at the very least see the beauty in it. So, it is very easy for someone who walks a thin line of having everything and having nothing, to let that emotion over come them . Causing people to loose faith in in what they know. Because they are living in a reality where everything including their lives can be ripped away at a single moment. If their lives back home change while they have so little control , it could be like their lives were taken from them, just as a bullet could rip through them to steal their lives.
2007-06-06 01:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by firedup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl here is the flat out truth..
Military wifes and girlfriends have a bad rep for being whores. I hate to say it because I am one (a wife not a whore). However it does happen and once one guy aboard a ship or in a unit or whatever has his special someone back home betray him it gets all the other guys thinking and worrying. And its not just when they are deployed although it does happen more. It happens when ever they are away from you. Just stick by your man and let him know that you are there for him and only him now and will be there when he gets back. But I am going to warn you he is going to keep asking you.
2007-06-06 02:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by soccer_babe_1508 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how would you feel if you were stuck out in the middle of the ocean with 1500 people, mostly of the same sex to talk too? And your boyfriend was stuck back home as free as a bird?
Your mind would probably be playing tricks on you and you'd be insecure of your relationship.
Give him all the support he needs. Tell him as much as you can how much you love him. Don't cheat and if you do, DO NOT TELL HIM, THAT IS EVEN MORE SELFISH THEN SCEWING AROUND!! All you would be doing is trying to justify your bad behavior.
Remember:
Love
Support
Consistancy
positive attitude
while finding new ways to tell him how much you care.
That will go a long way instead of quesitioning him about his questions.
2007-06-06 01:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What are you, 18? My dear, you are doubtless so naive about everything that to answer your question would be rather purposeless. Trust comes from power. Weak people cannot trust. It sounds like your "bf" is young, naive and naturally weak like you, although you seem somewhat less so than he.
You need to spend as much effort as possible developing a substantive identity. Work and learn and become someone. The sure-fire route to an unhappy life is to spend a lot of time wondering what other people are thinking about you.
2007-06-06 01:41:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For one thing he's undoubtedly hearing all the stories of his shipmates who's girfriends/wives have cheated on them during their deployments. He probably does have excess time to worry about this. Do whatever you can to let him know you're being faithful.
Any guys that are taking advantage of an enlisted man's woman while he's away need to be severly punished.
2007-06-06 01:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by shawnster172 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mersaydes
A lot of it is the loneliness guys have but it also has to do with the stories they are hearing from their friends. They're receiving letters and video tapes from girlfriends or wives who are breaking up with them or seeing other guys. A lot of really bad stuff. It makes the other guys wonder if something like that is going on with their wives or girlfriends. Sounds like he might have heard something from someone you both know raising some questions too. And of course these kinds of questions can come from guilt too. It's up to you to decide how to deal with it but both of you are going through something very difficult...if you are committed to him you need to communicate as much as you can, be honest and be trusting. I wish you both the best.
2007-06-06 01:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by Whitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is probably afraid that if he is away for a long time you won't "wait for him" and may date other people, especially if you two had not been together a long time before. It probably is more his own insecurity than a matter of trust, you know, guys can be pretty insecure when it comes to their heart.
2007-06-06 01:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by inzaratha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋